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Anyone else done with work but to young to retire?!

129 replies

tinyangel · 04/07/2022 12:36

Simply, by brain and body do not want to go to work anymore. They want to flit about the house, do the school runs and not concentrate on the things they should do.

I work a mix of remote and in the office, part-time, but have worked solidly for the last 32 years (older mum 😉) and feel that my brain has just stopped wanting to do work stuff. Zero interest. I've looked at alternative roles in my industry and also looked at a complete change of career but my corporate oomph has gone.

Could be the menopause, could be post covid but I am never normally affected mentally by issues.... anyone else?

OP posts:
dalmatianmad · 04/07/2022 13:17

I'm 46 work full time as a Nursing sister in A+E.
Too old and knackered to carry on.
Sick of being abused on a daily basis by patients and their relatives who are pissed off with the waiting times (yesterday it was 16 hours for the majority of the day). I'd be pissed too but we're working as hard as we can.

I have an 8 month old dgs, I have him 3 days a week. I just wanna have him full time whilst my DD works.

We go soft play, walks to the park, swimming every week.

I don't wanna work anymore.

AlisonDonut · 04/07/2022 13:18

tukker · 04/07/2022 12:47

Me. That's why I'm packing up and moving to France.

I did the same a year ago. Best thing ever.

GoldenTobes · 04/07/2022 13:21

I also could have written this post.

I'm 50 and would like to finish working by the time I'm 60. Hopefully it will be possible with downsizing and finding something local and part time. My job is ok to be honest and I know I'm very lucky but I have to pretend to be interested a lot of the time. I work with some younger people who are quite ambitious but I feel I'm passed all that really. I just want to afford to help my children through university then retire!

I try and make the most of my time when I'm not working and try not to do too long hours or anything so that I feel like I have a decent evening. But it's the pretending that I want to be there that gets tiring.

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Sunshineandrainbow · 04/07/2022 13:21

Yes me!
Worked for NHS for 23 years in therapy.
I just feel drained with it all, I live on my own with teenage children so have no choice but to work.
Do have a partner of 15 years but live apart.
Have thought about looking for something different but then worry I will need my nhs pension as a single pensioner.

Sunshineandrainbow · 04/07/2022 13:22

Meant to add I am 46 and help the situation by taking a day off every other week using my leave.

SherbertLemons · 04/07/2022 13:22

@AlisonDonut and @tukker sounds amazing! If you don't mind me asking how are you supporting your new lives abroad? Are you going to be working in France? Doing what? Do you speak the language?

I'd love to move to Italy. Just not sure what I'd do for work/money as I'm a lawyer in this jurisdiction only so would have to do something completely different.

Like all the other posters I am so done with work. I'm 39 and currently on my first maternity leave (older first time mum). I don't want to go back, for the next 30 years, it's so I fulfilling.

tiredanddangerous · 04/07/2022 13:25

Yes me! And I'm only 43. I was a sahm for 12 years and loved it. I've been back in work for 3 years and I've had enough already!

WithGayAbandon · 04/07/2022 13:26

Me! Been feeling like this for about 14 months, completely demotivated, getting fatter by the day etc. 57 years old and thought I was just going to cruise dispiritedly to retirement but then I saw another job, went for it, got it and start in September. Feel this is my last hurrah tbh, but it’s a chance worth taking as I’ve been miserable and bored for ages now.

ArtistViv · 04/07/2022 13:29

I hear you. I'm 41, and earlier this year took a job wfh doing surveys for a market research company. Prior to this I worked for a different market research company as a supervisor, so it was a bit more money but got absolutely sick to the back teeth of looking after staff that couldn't go to the bog without smearing their outages from their back-passages around the toilet bowl, the constant bickering between staff, honestly there are some shocking stories but I'd be here all day if I start going into it! Now with this current job, it's ok ish, it's low pay but is at least flexible and as an introvert I enjoy wfh.

What keeps me sane, is having my Etsy shop. It makes me very, very little but I'm building it up, and learning. I love to make things. So it feels like my brain is kept active with learning about all the elements of running my own little business which I hope will one day will earn me a regular income.

At heart, I'm done with working for someone else, and just dealing with everything that goes along with that. When I was 13 I got my first job in a cafe. The manager used to threaten his wife at knife point in the kitchen. If I ever thought back then, that was not really a typical experience of how work-places are, then I was deluded. Fast forward a number of decades and I've witnessed violence (had to report a different manager to the police for domestic violence - this was in a pub I worked in for a brief spell), had 3 colleagues commit suicide (from 2 different work-places), 2 staff members sent to jail for attempted murder (catering agency I worked at), witnessed multiple episodes of bullying in more than 1 place (one time I worked for a place where the assistant manager was carrying a dictaphone in her pocket to record how vile the manager was, for evidence for higher up management), and again the list just goes on. Having a job has started to feel like a traumatic experience that must be endured if I'm honest.

Remind yourselves of all the other things in your life that make life worth living. The good people, the hobbies and interests, good food, and get regular exercise. Otherwise the balance feels like the mind just focuses far too much on the crap of working life.

There's a lot of people who feel like this and I know that my weird experiences are not unique. I've hear some shockers from people I know who have also had a really hard time in workplaces. Most of us just want to turn up, get a job done, and have basic pleasantries with those we work for, and with. Why is that sooooo difficult to find?

I totally understand why people don't want to work, and each to their own but at this point I'm convinced that getting stuck in and learning how to run your own small business, doing what you love, is the way forward.

queenofthedryshampoo · 04/07/2022 13:32

I could have written this Confused I am menopausal, have loads of life stress and I just can't do it anymore..have worked all my life since the age of 14 and working full time in a job I hate alongside caring for kids, elderly Ill parents, dogs etc.... alas the mortgage has to be paid and as a single parent it's just down to me...I could cry..

BackToTheTop · 04/07/2022 13:33

I have 8.5 years left and I really REALLY can't be arsed any longer

Onthegrid · 04/07/2022 13:38

I am going to use this thread as my motivation to change. Get fit, develop more hobbies and other interests outside of my boring job.
And I am going to force the issue of a new contract for a 3-day week

007DoubleOSeven · 04/07/2022 13:40

Me too.

I've had extended time off due to ill health and while in some ways I'm looking forward to returning, I'd really love to be able to afford to retire.

If I could indulge my hobbies, travel, buy a house and make a home without having to earn money I would.

We make work and our careers so central to our identity and ideas of being a good, proper member of society...sometimes I think we only do this to make ourselves feel better that we can't be in charge of our own days!

tinyangel · 04/07/2022 13:41

WithGayAbandon · 04/07/2022 13:26

Me! Been feeling like this for about 14 months, completely demotivated, getting fatter by the day etc. 57 years old and thought I was just going to cruise dispiritedly to retirement but then I saw another job, went for it, got it and start in September. Feel this is my last hurrah tbh, but it’s a chance worth taking as I’ve been miserable and bored for ages now.

I think I might need last hurrah... good luck!

OP posts:
RB68 · 04/07/2022 13:42

I have found my people... I found this about work after I went back after having my daughter, offered redundancy when she was 4 and left. We started our own company I did background stuff but I can take it or leave it - she is 17 now and I am ready to start slowing down but we have a new start up lol - whoops. I am hoping it takes off works well and we can ditch in 5 yrs and head to retirement. I suspect it may end up nearer 8 or 10 and that DH will continue with consultancy as he will be a nightmare full time retired.

Goldfishmountainclimber · 04/07/2022 13:43

I hear you loud and clear, op!!

Tiggertum · 04/07/2022 13:44

This is exactly me too! And single parent so feel even more like I can’t make a move away from what is a ‘good’ job with flexibility on paper.

tinyangel · 04/07/2022 13:45

@ArtistViv you have such a lovely positive outlook after horrendous experiences! perhaps hobbying is the way to go, but I already know my lazy, unmotivated arse will get all whooped up at the beginning and then 6 months later want to move onto the next thing! thank you for sharing your thoughts!

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 04/07/2022 13:47

Definitely with you OP, and also 49. Final child leaves for uni this year (hopefully) & my work feels totally stupid and pointless and I just can't care anymore about the constant changes and keeping up and keeping on pushing everything forward.

I agree with a PP there is an element of post covid 'is this it', coupled with WFH the majority of the time.

I'm making plans to be made redundant and stop within the year, I want to enjoy my time while I can.

takeitandleaveit · 04/07/2022 13:47

Me. I was recently 60 and still have another 7 years to go before I can retire. It's doing my head in, especially because when I started work the retirement age was 60. I don't have enough in private pensions to be able to rely on it between now and then, so I have to wait.

Biscuitsneeded · 04/07/2022 13:48

Me. I'm 50 and I'm a secondary teacher. I can't face the idea of 17 more years!! By the end of every term I am on my knees, and I always get ill at the start of the holidays. I don't hate it; there are many, many moments when I am glad I do it, but I wish it was less intense. And menopause is giving me brain fog and making me forgetful and easily confused, when I used to pride myself on being sharp and efficient. I told DP I might 'retire' at 56/57 when my youngest might hopefully be through university, and he was horrified. I would do something else at that point, of course, but it might be a more chilled job paid by the hour so it would necessarily mean a reduced income. I just can't imagine standing in front of teenagers in my sixties and being in any way relevant to them. I get away with it now as I still have teens myself so I have a good idea about their lives and interests, but I can feel myself becoming more and more irrelevant...

tinyangel · 04/07/2022 13:49

Onthegrid · 04/07/2022 13:38

I am going to use this thread as my motivation to change. Get fit, develop more hobbies and other interests outside of my boring job.
And I am going to force the issue of a new contract for a 3-day week

Yay! I shall live vicariously through your optimism. I think exercise could be key. I'm a couch potato on a swivel chair who's just had chicken nuggets for lunch and now enjoying a Fab. Hmmm.

OP posts:
TheDogsMother · 04/07/2022 13:51

Urrggghh me too. I work from home, am self employed and have plenty of flexibility but I have still had enough. My sector has a rubbish business model which means clients don't place enough value on our time/effort and payment is linked to results. I used to have the hunger for this but given half a chance I would never do it again. Maybe menopause is a contributing factor (age 58) and since the pandemic am less and less motivated to get out and see people. Nothing a modest lottery win wouldn't sort though.

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 04/07/2022 13:54

I'm 63. I gave up FT work when my dch were young and set up on my own as a freelance. I work PT but am now fed up and ready to give up but have another 4 years to go. But I've got into yoga and now do Yoga With Adriene on Youtube every day for 20--30 mins. She's amazing, and it's free!

Pureimaginations · 04/07/2022 13:58

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