Why is it always a son?

[cannibalvalley]

Why when you come across an adult over indulged by his mum, why is it always a son?
If someone who is in their late twenties let's slip at work that their mum still washes and irons their clothes, it is always a man.
Or the man in his thirties who did not even live with his parents and confessed his mum still made his packed lunch for work.

I mean maybe you all have examples of adult women over indulged by mums doing their washing or making packed lunches way beyond a normal age. But I have only ever come across men where this happens.

So why? Is it because adult women would not allow their mums to do this? Or something else?
Or is it only me that has come across this and it is an incredibly unusual situation no one else has ever come across?

Maybe it’s just the women realise having their mums go through their dirty washing is disgusting . If my adult DS bought his clothes round and said he needs them washed he’d be told to go and wash them!

if the adult DS in question have no washing machine they could use the mums one but still wash them themselves- bone idle and sham on the mums for allowing it

Maybe women aren't prepared to continue doing those things for their daughters, as they are expected to be able to do it for themselves. Whereas sons aren't.

Sometimes it's easier to do the dc's washing as they are living with you and with energy costs rising etc

We often do ds's but he will do his own as well

I'd rather wash a full load

No ironing though

Well it won’t be my sons for sure. I still do the youngest’s but my 16 year old does all his own laundry now, has for a while. I’m his mother, not his skivvy.

I do know one woman like this, but several men, so I agree it is more a mother/son thing.

Or the man in his thirties who did not even live with his parents and confessed his mum still made his packed lunch for work.

that’s embarrassing

my 2 boys have packed their own lunches since before they left primary school

See i think, in general, daughters remain a lot more dependent on their parents for advice, financial support and practical help. There are lot of daddies girls out there or women leaning hugely on their mums when they have a baby.

Not specifically clothes washing which may well be a son thing.

It can be either son or sometimes a daughter if there is a golden child.
I knew a man like this and it was cringeworthy that his mother still bought his underwear etc when he was a fully grown man.
Many women of a certain age didn't have to work or only worked part time for a few years and made a fuss way beyond what they should to feel needed and still useful. Now women generally work more, have careers and hopefully more self esteem.

I am 44 and my mum looks after me (and my kids) when I stay at hers, including putting a wash on if she is doing one herself. I am not a control freak who refuses any help though.

I have no idea, especially since whenever there's a gender disappointment thread, it's always because women don't want sons.

Hahaha at comparing a man having his mum making packed lunch to a woman leaning on her mum for support after having a baby.

You could say women are more reliant on dad's for things like handyman jobs, etc although I don't think it's anywhere near so prevalent ime.

I believe it's because men are (generally) conditioned to let other ppl (usually women) do things for them and mum's in general just do things for their children until the children step up and start doing it themselves.

My boys would all say their sister is the over-indulged DC.

My sister in law gets all her washing and ironing done by my MIL

FIL cuts her grass every week and maintains her car, gets it serviced, MOTd etc

Well, I suppose women are expected to be able to do their own washing and food preparation. The man has grown up in a household where men aren't expected to do those things. I don't know how any self respecting adult could go along with this, though. But some men do! It's just so embarrassing and probably contributes to why they're not in a relationship. My 15 yo son does his own washing and packed lunches (and more) so I've never idea why some men in their 20s and 30s feel they can't manage!

I'm very lucky that my mum looks after my DC two days a week, she often does washing for me on those days, makes me meals for after work / lunch the next day, does housework etc for me. There's no expectation on her to do those things but she likes to look after me still and I won't refuse her help out of pride. I'm extremely grateful for it and she knows it (I hope). She does / has done the same for my siblings, of both sexes. I guess some people just never lose the urge to mother but it's not always an indication of a dysfunctional relationship.

I think mums are a lot softer with their sons than daughters, they may not even realise they are doing it..

I had a female work colleague called Judy, aged 30`+ whose Mum packed her lunch and peeled her grapes. But agree, it is typically adult males you come across overindulged by Mama.

My sister is almost 40 and cannot make a decision about her life without consulting our dad. Does that count?

My late dh used to send his dirty washing home from university and mil would wash and iron it and post it back! When we married he said I didn’t iron his shirts as well as his mum used to. I gave him the iron and never did them again until he was ill.

If my mum comes round to sort the cats when we're away over night and we have washing in the basket or washer she'll wash it for me. If she pops round for a brew when she's finished work in the day and I have dishes she'll do them for me.

My dad takes me to work when I need to go into the office too. I'm a woman

Agree with this.

My mum washed and ironed my DSs school uniform for their whole school lives.

She also cooks me my tea once a week and deliberately cooks extra so I can take some home....

I know lots of women whose daddy comes and cuts the Lawn for them, puts oil in the car, washes their car, changes a fuse, changes a tyre, unblocks the sink etc.

I really don’t see a problem with it.

Women are socialised to do housework, simple as that. Not all of them, and not always, but in a lot of families, it'd be the daughter who'd be roped in to help mum cook, or who got told to help do the ironing while the son helped dad mow the lawn. So the daughter grows up knowing how to do things and the son does not.

I agree with a PP that, sometimes, women are also socialised to rely on male help for other chores. But you don't need to mow your lawn, or change your car tyre, every day - so women end up less intensively dependent on parents than men.

It's a daft situation either way, and I do hope it's going the way of the dodo.

Sexism has not completely died out. Glad my mum made sure we could all do such household basics.