I don't drive. I've had many, many hours of lessons over the years and never quite been able to get it. I have ASD and it's been suggested several times (by various hcps and even by a driving instructor) that I show strong signs of dyspraxia, so I don't think that has helped. I feel a really deep sense of shame that I have reached my mid 30s without passing my test, I feel like a child having to be driven around by others all the time.
4.5 years ago I started a new job and during an office chat about driving someone said "you can drive, can't you?" to me and I said "yes" without thinking. Rather than doing what any normal person would do and correct myself, I decided that no one I worked with would likely ever find out anyway so I kept up the lie. However, because I'd lied to a few people about it whenever anyone else at work asked me whether I drove I had to lie and say I did because otherwise the first people I lied to might find out I'd fibbed. As time went on I got increasingly stressed about this lie, but I was far too embarrassed about lying to everyone to own up.
I then ended up dating someone from work and I couldn't admit to him that I'd been lying to everyone about being able to drive, so whenever it came up in conversation I would just quickly change the subject 😳.
We've now got to the point where we're moving in together soon and I STILL haven't plucked up the courage to tell him. My boyfriend keeps saying how he'll have to add me to his insurance so I can use his car whenever I need to go anywhere, because it will be so much easier than relying on public transport. I know I need to tell him the truth but I'm cringing at the thought. Any normal person would have said something years ago, not kept up a lie for 4.5 years just to save face! I'm going to come across as a total weirdo/compulsive liar aren't I? How do I start this conversation?