Being envious of the lifestyle when going abroad...

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

Does anyone else feel like this too? I live in a very wet part of the UK and whenever I go abroad or meet people from abroad, the lifestyle always seems amazing. Examples below;

• Met a Canadian girl abroad in Spain. Very tanned and toned. She played volleyball for her college team and had long hair and am effortless beauty about her. Whereas near me, the only sports teams are tennis/football, most of which are difficult to play outside due to the weather
• visiting Italy, all the food seems beautiful. 80 year and old women whipping up delicious pasta in moments. Whereas in England, I just feel like we never have time to sit down and make proper nice food
• Spain, fresh tacos cooking constantly, beautiful women looking like they've stepped out of a magazine. In England often darting through the wind and rain to get to an office job, stuck inside and grabbing a sandwich from Boots for lunch.

I'm fully aware I'm seeing the world through tourist tinted glasses, but can anyone who lives abroad or knows of the lifestyles/ isn't from the UK please give me some tips on how people do this!! Any beauty tips, any easy amazing recipes. I'm aware I can't sit on a Parisian Street drinking wine and eating olives, but would just love some tips from some locals of how to bring a bit of it to the UK :)

Lots of Spanish people in my part of Edinburgh. We have beach, hills, woods here - the city is full of people from all parts of the world (living, not on holiday).

Having lived in Denmark 15 years and now in UK, I can confirm the Danes are comparatively very relaxed. At the end of my first week at work I asked a colleague if they had weekend plans. Their answer was a simple 'no'. And that's basically the approach. They don't dress elaborately and don't have much stuff so the houses are really easy to maintain. The only weekend activity is drinking in the garden with friends in the summer and then drinking watching tv with friends in the winter. Now back in the UK I'm often aware I 'should' be doing trips out at the weekend - shopping, museums, cinema etc but so far I've found I'm happy doing light house work, having friends over for drinks and watching tv. Children are entertained by having friends over to play. There is also lots of pressure to do extra curricular things at a very young age like music lessons and such which requires parental time and effort. In Denmark it's left until the child is old enough to handle the logistics and motivation for such things themselves. I'd not like southern europe for the reasons already discussed - too much pressure to look good and too much heat.

In the UK you can get the best of both world by fiercely resisting buying things you don't need to buy and doing things you don't need to do - invite over friends and just hang about instead. In addition, you get the far prettier land and more tolerant and open culture that the UK offers.

I was in Italy a few weeks back. Went into a L’Occitane shop in Venice where there was a man behind the counter. Also a woman coach driver effortlessly chucking cases into the luggage compartment.

Here are the stats. Italy second bottom only to Greece

Basically it's the sunshine, isn't it? Haven't studies shown that there is more depression and alcoholism in less sunny climes? I'm deeply affected by the greyness of where I live. My mood can change dramatically upwards when the sun appears.
I've lived and worked in both Italy and France. I loved it for several reasons, but the climate was definitely one of them!

Italy also has one of the lowest birth rates in Europe. You’d expect more women to be in employment.

This - you're not seeing the day to day grind!

Better to focus on making the most of your free time rather than envying snapshots of other people's lives, as you never see the full story.

I live in Ireland but spend a lot of time in Spain and France. We are definitely restricted by the weather, however my dh and I are v slim , eat well and do lot of exercise but that’s largely due to the fact that all of our kids are v v active too so we had to keep up. It’s no exaggeration to say that every second person in Ireland is overweight, formula feeding is almost exclusively done here , I rarely see a woman bf in Ireland and the attitude to food isn’t good in general ; a lot of junk food in shops , kids snacking constantly.
However I think parents in France and Spain have it easier as school is on until 4.30 everyday except maybe Wednesdays in France so much , much easier to work , in Ireland my dc preschool finished at 11.30 am everyday with no option to add on , first two years in school they finish at 1.30!!!! No option of school dinners so down for parents to make lunches that kids eat quickly at their desks . Then 2.30 pm for older kids. 3 months off for teenagers !!So I think life is a lot more challenging in Ireland for parents unless you have loads of support or money. We do live near some incredible scenery, wild and stunning and we get out regardless but the cold and rain can get wearing. It’s also now insanely expensive in Ireland. I just wish there was more support for parents here and a better attitude towards food.

My best friends sister lives in Sitges and works in Barcelona. Everyone is extremely image focused. The clothes are so expensive that she stocks up when she is in the UK. No concept of second hand or charity shops. Wear it for one season then it absolutely cannot be seen again. Meeting friends for drinks requires a whole new outfit and hours of thinking about it so it's just right. Lockdown was absolute hell. The police are nasty. The weather is insanely,horribly hot

I don't really recognise my city or Sitges here. Many people are well put together and you can definitely tell the holidaymakers from the locals, but this talk of no clothing repetition and hours of thinking about clothing choices isn't something I've come across at all! The clothes are no more expensive than anywhere else....? Could this be more your friend's sister than society in general?

The weather is hot between June and October but the other three seasons are quite lovely. It's nice to head to the beach after school some days and it's nice to pile into the car and go skiiing on winter weekends.

Energy bills are cheaper, and generally things work. Our council has a scheme whereby low income single parents can apply for a free-of-charge babysitter if they fall ill or are recovering from a medical procedure. I like that people are taken care of.

It's not perfect of course, and my city-dwelling neighbours like nothing better than setting fire to a couple of bins and having a protest if riled about....well....anything really.

The banks are really shit, any time you call to find out where your money might be or why a company has taken an unexpected payment it's a bit like they're doing you a huge favour by helping you 😂😂😂

The longer I'm away from the UK the less appealing it seems tbh.

Although the Danes are apparently incredibly house-proud. You are not allowed to have a messy house!

The good thing about Denmark though is the fact that the gap between rich and poor is much smaller than in the UK. That in itself creates a much better quality of life. And the fact you can cycle everywhere, they won't be worrying about the price of petrol.

I know people in the UK think living in Australia is the holy grail but it would be wasted on me, as I don't like beaches, BBQs or hot weather! Mind you, scones and Morris dancing are more than a bit depressing!

Our council has a scheme whereby low income single parents can apply for a free-of-charge babysitter if they fall ill or are recovering from a medical procedure. I like that people are taken care of

Some councils in the UK offer that sort of thing too, but it's a total postcode lottery. Where my mum lives you get nothing, but a few miles down the road they send out carers if you've had an operation for up to six weeks - for free. The council is bankrupt though...

Even when we were still in the EU, I’ve never heard of hordes of Spanish or Italian people coming to flock the UK

There were loads in London - the hospitality industry relied on them (as well as people from France and Eastern Europe). And there is a large Italian population in Scotland, and a large Portuguese (Madeiran) population on Jersey.

You really have the make the best of where you are. I live in London now and yes, while the weather is terrible with no real summer, our family still gets out daily to do sports and outdoor activities. We’re all healthy, fit, and toned, yes, even in the U.K.

OP, you can eat that delicious Mediterranean diet even in the U.K. I’ve lived here for 10 years and have yet to eat a Boots sandwich.

I’ve lived and worked in Europe, so it’s not all this perfect life. I grew up in Canada and you know what we do in the winter? We ski, ice skate, and play hockey, its not always below 20 and winter is really fun, especially for kids. Summers are always amazing.

Just decide how you want to live your life and do it. Place doesn’t matter so much.

The weather in this country is often shit, but plenty of people including me manage to have a nice lifestyle based around lovely food and relaxed leisure time. There’s nothing stopping you from doing that.

There is though a higher standard when it comes to appearance and housekeeping. I of course don’t speak for the whole of eg Spain vs whole of UK, but in general at home, you keep yourself looking respectable and you keep your house looking respectable.

Same for Italy, my cousins will hang out in leggings/joggers at home but they will always wear "proper clothes" to go out. When we visit we always pop in to see various cousins/aunties and the houses are always cleaner than mine.

Re Italy and clothes, I’m talking men here, but an Italian BF of a dd told me that in the Italian workplace you are judged more by your clothes then your performance - he said they size up the cost/brand of everything, ‘even your belt!’

Lol! Only if you work in the fashion industry! I’ve worked in Milan for over 25 years and not met anyone obsessed with what you’re wearing. The only exception was a brief stint working for Dolce &Gabbana where the (mainly gay) male atelier assistants took the p out of each other. The women were less fussed.

OP the examples you list are not necessarily typical. A lot of living in these countries is same shit different climate. That said on balance I’m much happier living here and that is further cemented every time I go back to the uK.
The light and blue skies and limited grey days really helps with mood. In the U.K. I was constantly depressed.
The quality of food (and wine!) here is much better, people tend to eat food in season and a lot less processed stuff. Also for kids’ food, most children are expected to eat the same as adults, whereas my DD got laughed at for eating a plate of vegetables in the UK (ok anecdata but it pissed me off, it was a parent friend of family whose kids were making retching noises while my DD was eating)
I find it a better place to raise children, they seem to remain children for a bit longer. Also less pressure to fit in wrt choice of trainers and silly stuff like that. Less bullying for being a swot or “getting above yourself”, more emphasis on achievement
Amazing history and culture often a short (and cheap) train ride away. Also more appreciation of culture perhaps, as in it’s not just a middle class pursuit. Also where I live I’m an hour or so away from beaches and ski slopes, what’s not to love?

No Morris dancers but plenty of sagre and festivals with people dressed in medieval gear/funny costumes if that’s your bag! Also plenty of dry cakes to rival those scones!

What I do miss about the UK is decent Indian restaurants and perhaps a couple of varieties of potato. I used to buy loads in UK supermarkets when I popped back but over the years that has dwindled, there seems to be so much crap nowadays. I find I buy a lot more from French supermarkets when I’m on holiday.

Having said that I think there a lot more variety/experimenting in the UK - both in fashion and in people's houses/gardens.

I always think it's funny that people in the UK insist that all Italians eat an amazing diet with everything lovingly cooked from scratch daily. There's an awful lot of junk and convenience food in their supermarkets - do people think that's just for display?

I think lockdown normalised joggers though, I do see a lot more out and about in the supermarkets nowadays. Me included I will admit, I was never a jogger type before unless doing sport, but it has become staple supermarket fare for me now!

No overweight grown men in football kit though, ever! Now that is a blessing!

I lived in Spain and it was a much better lifestyle. Finish work, out for tapas or dinner. Most days a quick dip in the pool. However, my company paid for my pool and accommodation. If you are poor it's not so fun. Living in a city and sweating your tits off. No money to enjoy dinner out. Unemployment is high. It has its problems. Before Brexit my city was full of Spanish escaping poverty and unemployment..

Hahhaa about the morris dancing and dry scones.

As Bill Bryson says "abroad is where you go on holiday, Britain is home".

Thank you for this. So interesting to read.

I live in the Netherlands and they do the casual chic thing really well here, very much an outdoor lifestyle, but there are also loads of things I miss about Scotland, the landscape mainly, and things like free camping, there is nothing free here. Every country has it's plus points, but I do see that women from Southern Europe are better groomed, and don't seem to have scruffy off days.

Which of his books was that from?

@evilharpy
Good question! I have absolutely no idea which of his books it was from as I have read all of them! (several times). Maybe Notes from a Small Island. Or Neither Here nor There (travels in Europe). In it, he talks about how British expats tell you how great it is, here in Spain, running their British bar but then sadly ask if you have a copy of yesterday's Daily Record by any chance.