Being envious of the lifestyle when going abroad...

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

Does anyone else feel like this too? I live in a very wet part of the UK and whenever I go abroad or meet people from abroad, the lifestyle always seems amazing. Examples below;

• Met a Canadian girl abroad in Spain. Very tanned and toned. She played volleyball for her college team and had long hair and am effortless beauty about her. Whereas near me, the only sports teams are tennis/football, most of which are difficult to play outside due to the weather
• visiting Italy, all the food seems beautiful. 80 year and old women whipping up delicious pasta in moments. Whereas in England, I just feel like we never have time to sit down and make proper nice food
• Spain, fresh tacos cooking constantly, beautiful women looking like they've stepped out of a magazine. In England often darting through the wind and rain to get to an office job, stuck inside and grabbing a sandwich from Boots for lunch.

I'm fully aware I'm seeing the world through tourist tinted glasses, but can anyone who lives abroad or knows of the lifestyles/ isn't from the UK please give me some tips on how people do this!! Any beauty tips, any easy amazing recipes. I'm aware I can't sit on a Parisian Street drinking wine and eating olives, but would just love some tips from some locals of how to bring a bit of it to the UK :)

Poor OP, she wants handmade pasta in a sun-baked Italian courtyard and we’re giving her Morris dancers and dry scones.

What you say resonates a lot as I have always had a tendency to romanticise the best bit of different places I've been to and feel my life is somewhat lacking. I love the sunny weather but then it's easy to when you're on holiday and don't have to rush to work and get the kids sorted, have a pool, beach and air con to keep you cool.

But i've tried alot recently to be thankful for what I have living where I do in an unremarkable village in Leicestershire. But - There's a beautiful nature reserve near me just over the road with herons and kingfishers and wild flowers and if you walk through that you can stroll along a canal and admire the colourful narrow boats and have a cosy coffee or cold drink at a pub along the river. I've started to plant a lovely cottage garden last year and now have lavender, alliums, salvia, geraniums etc all flowering which is bringing me bees and butterfly's but also abit of joy. Started a small veggie patch this year so that's
lovely too. The city local to my village (Leicester) has a lot of diversity so I can get amazing spices, fish and meat from the markets as well as enjoy alsorts of different cuisines. We have brilliant theatres as well so I can enjoy plays, musicals etc all within 15 minutes from my house.

Im starting to eat whole, real foods which i've cooked from scratch which means Im losing weight and at some point I will update my wardrobe but am determined to buy less fast fashion and more quality pieces.

I love a sunny day (when i'm not working) but we have seasons here and once you start to notice nature more (and i've had a bit of an epiphany of late with this) you can see how beautiful it is. Our weather can get us down but then there's something lovely about a snuggle on the sofa when it's tipping it down outside, walking the dog in the early morning when it's frosty, sitting by a fire when it's cold etc. so I suppose it's about finding the joy in the mundane and if a boots sandwich isn't doing it for you then make a change

😂

Having lived one of those amazing lifestyle…

1- you still need to live, go to work etc…
2- some of what you describe like a fantastic dish vs not having time to sit down is down to YOUR choices in the U.K. Taking time to eat around the table and making it a leisurely thing is something I’ve kept. If it’s important, you make space for it.
Same with ‘being all toned’, being ‘stylish’ etc…
3- you forgot the downsides. Eg These places are hot. 43oC last week in some areas in France. When you have young children and a small flat, it’s not easy to live that way!

I know what you mean OP but it's not quite like that.

The heat in the Med is relentless and oppressive in high summer. You can't think straight and the sweat pours off you.

At night it's even worse, or there's the drone or air conditioning.

Lizards in the bathroom. Cockroaches and other gross things.

The misogyny in some of those countries is off the charts, ditto police and other corruption.

Unemployment levels are high and poverty is real.

And the pressure to fit in is awful - if you're an outsider/gay/slightly different in appearance you've got no chance.

Despite what people like to say, Britain is one of the most open-minded,accepting, welcoming countries on earth. I really think people should all have to live abroad for a year because then you learn to appreciate what we've got!

Having said ALL of that, I am still obsessed with being Danish after a holiday there. Now THAT is a relaxed place to live!

The British tourists stand out and look a mess because they're wearing holiday clothes.

How do you know some of the people who are looking effortless and relaxed aren't also British tourists? Are you doing comprehensive surveys?

Having said ALL of that, I am still obsessed with being Danish after a holiday there. Now THAT is a relaxed place to live!

Try being coeliac in Denmark, it's not very relaxing at all!

I like this last line and agree

op holidays are just that and always lovely

I’m sure tourists who come to London or elsewhere feel similar - for different reasons but still an attraction

I used to live in Madrid.

I love the heat and light in Spain, but when you live there, you don't get to experience a lot of it.
Eg lovely 5-min walk to metro stop in the heat. Then cold air conditioned commute to work, then in an air-conditioned office all day, back out to the metro in the evening.

But having said that, just knowing the skies are blue every day is amazing and uplifts the spirits!
At the weekends I used to go for long walks, or go to the municipal outdoor pool, or drive to the coast for scuba diving/skiing in winter.
Coming home (to Spain) from a holiday abroad, felt like going back to another holiday, since the weather was lovely.

We have lived abroad for 18 years in a hot country and are close to two great beaches and a hotel that allows non residents to use the pool. Plus many touristy attractions, archeological and cultural sites.

Our life here is the same as it was in UK, go to work, pay bills etc. I'd say we work much harder here for less money though.

We only really go to the beach, pool, touristy places if we have visitors.
The heat can be hard to deal with in July and August, sometimes 40+.

That said, we love living here and I wouldn't go back to live in UK, it seems so drab and depressing and I can't wait to get back.

I lived overseas in a sunny place and I do miss the climate. It just makes life so much more enjoyable having reliable weather.

I used to live and work in Spain. Day to day you still have all the same stress etc etc and other work, being on holiday isn’t the real world

Not ironing anything is a mumsnet badge of honour. If you iron things you are living in Gilead. Same with weight/ body shape. Never say fat ,always curvy.

I agree only in part. I have lived in Italy for over 25 years but I live in a flat without a garden. The summer is absolutely awful! In August we normally go to the UK but we couldn't last year so we were mostly indoors with the shutters down. We did go out to the park at 10-11pm though. Hoping to be back for a rainy British summer this year!

Yes, your impressions are utterly rose-tinted OP and that's why people love to go on holiday - they get to step outside their boring, humdrum lives and live a life of leisure and pleasure for a week or two.

As for your comparisons - Canada? Most of Canada is bitterly cold for about six months of the year and the bit that isn't (i.e. the west coast), is grey and rainy. It's boiling hot in summer (the bit that's bitterly cold in winter), and they have masses of bugs, many of which bite. The west coast bit is admittedly lovely, but then the UK is often lovely in summer too.

Spain - I agree that the climate in much of Spain is lovely, particularly the coastal east and south coast areas - which is why they've become so built up and full of holidaying people from cold, dark, northern Europe. The middle of Spain is quite cold in winter though and is roasting in summer - not so nice and not so easy to work in either - which is why they have a siesta. It's not because they like to laze around in the middle of the day, it's because it's so punishingly hot that anything except lying in a darkened room is unbearable.

As for Italy - it has a lot of problems. Many young people can't get jobs, earn very little, still live at home with their parents until their mid or late 30s, there is hideous bureaucracy, nepotism, corruption - it's not an easy place to live and get on. There is very little by way of meritocracy in Italy and I wouldn't want to live there, however lovely the pasta and the wine is.

In other words, if you live a damp, dreary part of the UK, move or make the best of it, but the grass is often dry and brown elsewhere or frozen solid for months.

I lived in a few of the countries mentioned on this thread and honestly assuming you have a job then yes they are absolutely fab to live in. I find the British way of keeping themselves to themselves boring. The weather really doesn't help and there just aren't as many places to go as a whole family with friends where the adults can chill and kids play. Its much less communal and a lot less relaxed. We never used to go away on holidays in the summer because home was just as good. The downside side for me is the lack of jobs, I am in a very specific sector and London just has so many more opportunities.

I just spent 6 weeks travelling in Spain and I felt the same on some counts.
I loved the attitude towards children who are out and about with families on the warm (hot!) nights and aren't regarded as a nuisance when they all charge about in the Plaza.
We were more in rural areas so I didn't feel inadequate because of my crap sense of clothes etc as people seemed relaxed and not doing the chic thing.
Will go back as soon as I can afford it !

what’s stopping you from cooking proper food? It’s very easy and you can batch cook.
please dont tell me you survive on toast and ready neals..?

I have lived in a hot overseas country (non-European) and although initially I was captivated by the weather (blue skies and sunshine), the food, the people etc etc, before too long it stopped being like a holiday and I had all the same old same old stuff to deal with every day, same as my life inthe UK. Going to the DIY store instead of the beach, having to get the car fixed instead of going out for a long leisurely meal, that sort of thing. And it was too hot to function in the summer, unless you had air con (my car did, but my house didn't, so working night shifts was awful in the summer as I struggled to get any sleep during the day). I also lived in a region which did not have 4 defined seasons and I really missed the UK spring and autumn. I had no pool and it was often too hot to do loads of outdoorsy stuff, there were always mysterious (and sometimes dangerous) insects and other creatures lurking in the dark corners of the house and garden. And my laid-back warm-weather lifestyle came with a lot of unfamiliar and time-consuming bureaucracy, which you don't experience when on a short holiday.

I have lived in the us, the UK, France, Ireland and Switzerland. I thought the UK was the nicest country to live in. Don't get me wrong. I had a blast living in the other countries but I feel the UK is the better country to settle in all these considered (wages, education, healthcare, gender equality, work life balance, bureaucracy, etc)

My best friends sister lives in Sitges and works in Barcelona. Everyone is extremely image focused. The clothes are so expensive that she stocks up when she is in the UK. No concept of second hand or charity shops. Wear it for one season then it absolutely cannot be seen again. Meeting friends for drinks requires a whole new outfit and hours of thinking about it so it's just right. Lockdown was absolute hell. The police are nasty. The weather is insanely,horribly hot.

I was really surprised when I saw so many women wearing “athletic” clothes when I moved to the UK, many of whom didn’t seem very likely to be going to or coming from sports.

It’s a very different look to what I was used to. No make-up was normal, but the sort of clothes was very different.

I believe that English women have the highest BMIs in Europe.

I’ve lived abroad since 23, but knew since around 15/16 that I wanted to leave the U.K. after holidays abroad when younger etc.
There are positives and negatives. It really *Can be like being on holiday, for example, this weekend we’ve been to the beach early morning, bbq at home and pool for lunch, rode our bikes to the beach at sunset with a picnic.
Later we’re going to DD’s friends pool party for their birthday then to a lake for lunch and a boat trip.
We do have all the usual aspects of life-working, paying bills etc but after work we can head to the playground by the beach or on the beach/beach restaurants until 10 or sit in the garden and have a bbq etc.
Winter to me feels like being in a mild U.K. and it’s then I like my indoors time and coziness with the tv, fire etc.
The lifestyle where I am is a lot more family orientated, kids come out until v late at times to restaurants, the park, fairs etc. It’s much less about getting a babysitter and going out drinking.

The negatives are the heat and crowds in August, we tend to only go out very early or in the evening and stay in during the day.
Theres a lack of organisation where we are and corruption etc
Wages are lower and cost of living high, if we had U.K. wages here, we’d be living the ultimate dream.
I miss family so much and the British friendliness and humour is the best, but I don’t miss the lifestyle, the greyness, the rushing around, the materialism and obsession with obtaining *Stuff. I have three friends who have returned to the U.K. and all they talk about now is their jobs, how much they earn and their cars etc…they weren’t like that when living here. They’re always doing up their houses, whereas we’re happy to live quite modestly in our house as it’s close to the woods/beach etc and we don’t really spend time doing it up all the time as we’re too busy being out enjoying things (and I can’t really be arsed tbh 🤣)
When I was in the U.K. I used to feel like I was trapped, I was depressed a lot and very bored, even though I went out lots and had lots of friends etc.
Here I never feel trapped or bored but I sometimes have a sense of loneliness, even though we have lots of friends etc.
Ultimately I wish I’d been born here with my family and friends and had grown up here, it’s really an incredible childhood for kids.