Being envious of the lifestyle when going abroad...

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

Does anyone else feel like this too? I live in a very wet part of the UK and whenever I go abroad or meet people from abroad, the lifestyle always seems amazing. Examples below;

• Met a Canadian girl abroad in Spain. Very tanned and toned. She played volleyball for her college team and had long hair and am effortless beauty about her. Whereas near me, the only sports teams are tennis/football, most of which are difficult to play outside due to the weather
• visiting Italy, all the food seems beautiful. 80 year and old women whipping up delicious pasta in moments. Whereas in England, I just feel like we never have time to sit down and make proper nice food
• Spain, fresh tacos cooking constantly, beautiful women looking like they've stepped out of a magazine. In England often darting through the wind and rain to get to an office job, stuck inside and grabbing a sandwich from Boots for lunch.

I'm fully aware I'm seeing the world through tourist tinted glasses, but can anyone who lives abroad or knows of the lifestyles/ isn't from the UK please give me some tips on how people do this!! Any beauty tips, any easy amazing recipes. I'm aware I can't sit on a Parisian Street drinking wine and eating olives, but would just love some tips from some locals of how to bring a bit of it to the UK :)

My DIL is American, brought up in LA, her mother now lives back in Idaho. DIL now lives in Wales, came for University, met my son, married him and stayed. She thinks Wales is the most beautiful place on earth. It rains,its grey there is poverty but... ...you can walk around,nobody would dream of walking in LA, you don't get shot , it's not insanely hot, the people are nice,she is not dieting herself to death all the time, the health service is amazing, she has had the 3 covid vaccinations, there isn't the level of racism and homophobia . If she wanted / needed an abortion she could access one without it being illegal or being screamed at by religious loons. Her schoolfriend of 20 years has just moved over here to join her in Wales. She can't believe how relaxed it is.
DILs granny has 147 weapons in her house. Husband hunted bears. One of them is a semi automatic rifle. DILs mother told us,at their wedding, that she doesn't have a gun in her car, she has a foot long machete in the side wall,in case she needs it. She also carries an 8" hunting knife in her handbag whenever she goes out.
When you hear these things ,you realise how lucky you are to live I the UK.

My husband is Italian and when we visit i sometimes feel like this BUT there are so many benefits to the UK, disabled access, so many more facilities for families/young children, people often work 6 days a week, there is very high unemployment for young people, there is huge corruption amongst policitian (guess we have that one too). So whenever i start wishing we lived there i remind myself how lucky i am at home. Also, you can make a delicious pasta in 5 mins at home, chopped fresh vine tomatos, salted pasta, basil, olive oil, mozzarella. The key is keep it simple.

A couple of years ago in summer, we gave a lift to a couple of 40-ish Italian blokes in Cornwall - they were there on holiday - to escape the relentless heat of Italy. They were soon off to walk Hadrian’s Wall!! I asked whether they might not find it rather chilly and damp - they said that’s what they were hoping for! One of them had actually done it before.

Talk about gobsmacked (me) - it was a bit of an eye opener, though having lived in extremely hot climates myself maybe it shouldn’t have been.

Re Italy and clothes, I’m talking men here, but an Italian BF of a dd told me that in the Italian workplace you are judged more by your clothes then your performance - he said they size up the cost/brand of everything, ‘even your belt!’

I thought he must be wildly exaggerating, and later asked a young Italian colleague of dh whether it was true. He said yes, absolutely.

A lot of British expats in hot countries have wonderful lives. They earn wages significantly higher than average and their packages usually include high end housing, private schools, top insurance etc; they can usually afford maids and drivers.

So of course the UK seems shit in comparison.

But if you were to ask the locals, they'd probably all want to live in the UK.

There are people in other countries who are fascinated with the UK and Ireland, the greenery and the amount of rain we get. Even endless sunshine might get a little boring sometimes.

Truthfully we do live in a very beautiful part of the world, and sometimes you forget that. Where I live there are mountains to climb, lakes you can swim in, fishing, canoeing, forest parks in abundance, ancient historical buildings and artifacts and the coast is 40 minutes away. Open your eyes to what's around you and make the best of what you've got. There's nothing to stop you from cooking delicious meals at home either.

But if you were to ask the locals, they'd probably all want to live in the UK.

Im Going to disagree with that! Even when we were still in the EU, I’ve never heard of hordes of Spanish or Italian people coming to flock the U.K. Unlike Brits who created whole towns there (expecting to still be catered to the food they like, very little Spanish/Italian etc….)

But I think you have to live in those countries to actually realise what a shit deal we have, starting with the NHS.

But I think you have to live in those countries to actually realise what a shit deal we have, starting with the NHS

I have lived elsewhere and still prefer here, although it’s fairly even actually with Aus

June is a particularly great month with long days, Glastonbury and Wimbledon coming up. Weather has been good

I can’t say I think about the NHS much in daily life though

I've lived in a few countries and I do think the UK is the worst of the lot. Life is mega expensive for the average salary and unless you live in a big city life is certainly very boring (it was the same in Oz though).

That being said.... I don't feel I'm going to be as judged if I decide not to wear makeup or wear my PJs all day.

Rural/quiet life is certainly not for me, so I plan to move to some metropolis somewhere in the world once the DC are old enough.

Why would you doubt locals have air-conditioning?

If you live in a hot country, you have air-conditioning or good fans. Like you wouldn't expect someone who lives in a cold country to not have heaters would you?

I live in Australia. After work in summer we usually have a bbq and will sit outside until it's dark (around 9pm). We personally cook outside to keep the house cool.

I lived in the UK for a long time and the weather really got to me. In summer you might have a few weeks of lovely weather but then nowhere was prepared for it!

We have air conditioning in offices/shops/homes where I live. Tbh our house is v cool in summer (thick walls) so we only use a fan on very hot nights

"- very few people here grow their own veg. Sure, some do. But in Italy EVERYONE with a patch of earth is growing something edible in it."

I remember the travel series Monty Don did last year I think, travelling through the Adriatic east coast. And sneering about how people's ideas of gardens meant edible plants instead of idk, decorative flowers I guess. Like it's some backwards underdeveloped concept of gardening. Terrible attitude and a complete misunderstanding of the cultures and lifestyles he was visiting.

You are comparing well off Parisians in the city with, ordinary uk people. Go to the estates surrounding Paris. It is very different there.
The Spanish do dress up more and pay attention to grooming. I prefer the British way.

I’ve never heard of hordes of Spanish or Italian people coming to flock the U.K

I'm not sure I'd quite say hordes but at the engineering firm I used to work at and the technology firm before that I'd say 40% were young (under 30s) Spanish or Italian people. The job opportunities were so much better in the UK.

A lady whose garden he was visiting loaded him with jars of homemade jams and preserves she was very proud to point out were made with plants from her garden. He was just like "aw how quiant"

The food culture in Britain is very poor. Hence the threads about British people horrified their au pair wants to make a meal for her lunch and not a sandwich. And the very short work lunch breaks encourage this. Kids food in particular is very poor.

Depends on where you live though, doesn’t it. We can cycle through fields to school in the morning, then on the way home go for a swim in a lovely clean little river on a hot day. We only live in a very ordinary little
village in Norfolk, but we have plenty of nice places on our doorstep. But without any of the disadvantages of massive bitey bugs or snakes or gigantic spiders…! It generally stays green all year round, and it’s friendly where we live, with a good community. And we do grow our own fruit and veg. It’s possible to be outdoors all year round here - I trail run all through the winter, you just need the right clothes and to accept that your feet might get wet! I don’t understand this insistence that you can only go outside when it’s sunny - people don’t shrink in the rain, just wear a coat and the right footwear, and take an umbrella.

Nowhere is perfect of course but that applies equally to places outside the UK too - I’ve lived in Italy and it had lots of advantages but I’d never move back there to stay permanently. I didn’t fit in and I was definitely judged for that, and stared at. It’s a beautiful country and again had many advantages but it isn’t perfect.

I have actually met several people from Spain , France and Italy in the last year or two who have moved to the U.K. All much prefer it here.
Hard to understand but they all said we should appreciate what we have here more instead of rubbishing it.

Spudlet, you might want to Google 'Fen Raft Spider'.

Or most likely, not.

With the heatwaves in much of Europe, I am becoming more grateful to live in the UK. I see no desire in being absolutely boiling hot between midday and tea time. I just wish our weather was a bit more predictable!

Comparison is the thief of joy OP, you know that. If you view other people's lives through rose tinted glasses you'll never be happy.

I love holidays and hate coming back to the daily grind of normal life too, that's perfectly normal, but you do have the power to make the best of what you have. If time is short, try to just do a proper home cooked meal once or twice a week, or batch cook. Walking, of jogging is free and great exercise and getting outside is great for your mental health too.

I'm not really a clothes person so I have no opinion on that but finding something you really enjoy, be it reading or garden or a hobby just dancing around the kitchen to your favourite music. Something that gives you joy helps you to not focus on the negatives and what you don't have and just live in the moment.

You're comparing your every day life with life on holiday, so not like for like.

I do love the English seasons and I think a pp was right in saying you need to embrace that. Our temperate climate is going to make the UK one of the best places to be when the climate change starts to bite worse than it is already, whereas those sun-drenched Mediterranean cities are going to be tough to live in.

I think the rose-tinted post-holiday feel actually has nothing to do with wanting a particular country’s lifestyle and everything to do with work-life culture in the UK: we work long hours, there’s a live-to-work culture, wages are stagnating while cost of living is rising, house prices are ridick and even with post-Covid hybrid working lots of people still have long commutes – which all adds up to much less time to spend enjoying the seasons, embracing the seasonality of food, prioritising cooking and walking over rushing and Boots meal deal sandwiches.

On holiday you stop and breathe and spend more time outdoors. Yes, you can come home and cook from scratch but it’s at the time expense of something else, including the time spent going to a local greengrocer vs the post-work dash to Tesco express on the way to nursery pick-up. In the pissing rain. The answer obviously is to be enormously rich while also working less – easy!

Despite my very middle class upbringing on cultural trips to Europe, galleries in London and nature time at centre parcs, I have found my spiritual home in florida 🤣

The people so so friendly, amazing beaches with sea creatures from the gulf of Mexico, dirt cheap food, incredible fruit, show stopping sunsets.
Crumpled denim shorts, tshirt from a gas station and flip flops instead of pristine parisian chicness.

For me I can see how it must be nice to have an immaculate home and walk around like you've stepped out of a catalogue but honestly where is the joy in that?

Haha, I know where they live and I don’t go swimming there 😳😱🤣

We do go to visit them sometimes though!

I think work, cost of living and location are all important for lifestyle. I had very different experiences in New Zealand and Australia.

New Zealand- low paid and low stress job, low bills, lived near a beach, small friendly town where you made friends without trying (I met most at the beach because they always invited anyone nearby to join their BBQ or games or offered a beer and started a conversation).

Australia- moderately paid job, stress I took home with me, high bills (Melbourne), had to dress professionally and attempt to get to work without turning in to a sweaty mess in summer (impossible), friendly people but harder to make friends if you're introverted.