To leave an 11 year old

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DS is 11 (12 in Sept). Year 6
He is a very very sensible boy.
DH and I are going out to an "end of GCSE" drinks thing with our daughter (who would usually watch him.) We would be a 10 min drive away and gone from 8-11pm

I've booked a babysitter for him and he's MORTIFIED. I'll obv feed him before we leave - he fancied a quiet hour on minecraft with his mates before taking himself off to bed at 9.00. He's entirely unfussed about staying home alone, we have good neighbours opposite and he just doesn't want a babysitter. He's surprisingly grumpy about it.

I'm not being unreasonable am I? He's too young to be left isn't he? Or am I being overprotective again?

11 seems late, I think I'd try and be back for 10, I can't imagine my 11yo going to bed in an empty house.

I think it’s possibly a bit young but I’m basing that on my son who is a bit of an empty head. Yours may be far more mature.

Has he been left before? If not three hours on an evening is a bit of an ask for the first time

11 is quite old enough to be home alone for 3 hrs imho
Youre only going to be 10mins away

He’ll be fine for a few hours

Depends where you live....
And he seems happy so I probably would.
You know your child.. I have three. One I would have left, one not on your nelly and one wouldn't have wanted to (he is not keen now at 18)

I leave my 11 yo often for 3 hours, as does everyone I know....but...not at night time. It's different somehow.

I think it's fine. DS is 12 & we started leaving him home alone last couple of years. It's not like you're doing it every night all week. He'll play minecraft, chill & go to bed. Sounds great.

Depends. Does he usually get himself ready and into bed? If so, and if you think he's sensible enough, has a phone to contact you/ respond to text messages checking on him etc, then it could work.

He is too young to be left. Can't you go somewhere that he can go too?

You know him better than anyone here. He sounds as if he’s sensible enough.
Put it to him he’s on trust, his mates leave by whatever time you decide. No ifs or buts and he’s in bed by 10. Of course the usual rules apply, no messing about, don’t let strangers in, don’t answer the door to random people, Any problems he rings Fred and Gina over the road. And you make sure you’re home by 11.
Could you ask your neighbour to keep a discreet eye on him?

I think it depends on how he feels about it, how sensible he is, whether he'd know what to do if someone came and knocked on the door, he smelt gas etc.

I know I was freaked out the other night when someone knocked on my door at 10.30pm. I was glad I wasn't on my own and I'm quite a lot older than your son 🙈 I made DH go and answer it 🤣

He's fairly close to being 12.

As you're 10 minutes away and he's sensible then I think I'd be fine with leaving him for 3 hours.

I'd probably phone or text him every half an hour until he goes to bed, just to make sure everything is OK.

It's borderline only because of the time of night but recently I worked similar hours and left my 12 year old and 9 year old. (Ended up finishing early so home by 10). This has been built up
To though not just a sudden expectation

Children do vary. Started leaving DD1 alone in the daytime for the odd couple of hours just after her 11th birthday. I think she would have been fine at nearly 12 for the evening too. DD2 is much less confident and would have been scared at night time.
Even now at 17 I'm not sure DD2 would be happy to Spend the entire night alone in the house.

@User3568975431146 why is he too young to be left? The length of time or just in general? X

I think 11 is too young to be left at night.

I've booked a babysitter for him and he's MORTIFIED

If you used the word 'babysitter' in his hearing, I'm not surprised he's mortified. He's not a baby.

Do you know any cool sixth formers who share any of his interests who would come and keep him company and share a takeaway?

I wouldn’t leave an 11 year old at home until late at night. 3 hours in the middle of the afternoon is different.

End of GSCE drinks? Won't they be underage? misses point of thread

I wouldn't leave an 11 year old to go celebrating something with their older sibling, no. Can one of you stay home and one go with older DC?

I wouldn't leave him, but equally I wouldn't be taking my daughter to an 'end of GCSE drinks thing'. Sounds like something an adult should be doing, not a 16 year old.

I agree with @arethereanyleftatall

I leave my almost 12 yr old for maybe an hour/ hour and a half during the day. But not at night.

If you think he's sensible enough I think it would be fine. At that age I was travelling an hour across a busy city to school on and then again in the evenings for sports. He'll probably just play a game or watch TV.

It's the night time thing that worries me. Him taking himself off to bed all
by himself. He's been left for a few hours before but only in the day.

Judgy much? One of her friends parents is having a do round their house to celebrate us all making it through. 9 couples plus GCSE finishing children. Drinks for parents, but I'm assuming DD won't be knocking back the tequila. I will probably let her have a glass of fizz though so clutch your pearls away.

I think it's fine given he's almost senior school - assuming he's mature and sensible enough & would know what to do in an emergency. The end of GCSE party sounds fab, so enjoy!