Payment references in friend's bank account

[OliveTheDog]

My friend's exH is the BIGGEST BIGGEST wanker one could ever meet. Seriously horrible and controlling. Her DC has SEN and, by court order, was forced to have contact/stay with the ex. I won't list the many terrible things DC has been put through by him because it would take too long. The DC hasn't seen the Dad for two years now - they reached breaking point mentally and probably physically.
The Dad has now told everyone (eg. school) that he no longer wants any part in DC's life and he is not ever to be contacted
Anyway, my friend mentioned to me today that, over the years, when the Ex makes his CMS payment he has used low level insults as the reference. He recently changed the reference to "Lazy Cunt". However, the most recent reference is "I hope you both die"
Are people allowed to put that as a reference? Can my friend do anything about it although I get she wouldn't want the aggro?
By the way, the ExH is a policeman

I'm amazed they've got enough letter allocation to do that, but if they do, that is truly shit behaviour.

I think I would complain to the bank, although it's likely they'll say they can't do anything. What a charmer he is, and it must be awfully upsetting for your friend.

I often use "in jokes" with my siblings when we transfer each other money and some are a little risqué bordering gross. I've never tried to use swear words though but it DID let us use things like "lap dance", "midget pron", "gutter proctologist ", "crotch sniffer", "waffle stomp". So I do imagine that you could get away with some pretty bad ones.

Personally if he’s a police officer I’d make a complaint about him to professional standards of the relevant force ( ie whatever force he works for). Realistically it’s not the behaviour of a police officer, yes it’s his private life but they are always on duty.

if she goes to her local force website and goes to make a complaint, anything criminal can get then get looked at at the same time.

I don't think a serving police officer saying he hopes his own child dies will go down well.

I would take this to the police.

I’ll love to see how he explains that to anyone he has to present statements for.
e.g mortgage/ rent etc

i’ll add an echo about complaining to the bank and police. What an absolute arse.

@devonianBiatch same here, although we've toned it down after my siblings had an issue with getting a mortgage because of the references 🤦‍♀️😂

Agreed report to his police force and also contact CMS and ask to go on direct pay where it will be taken from salary not transferred from him. Attach statements as evidence for the request

How? There usually isn't enough space for a sentence like that

But yeah, time for a complaint.

Thank you for your replies so far. My friend is reading the thread

"If the contact that you are receiving is more than annoyance and might also be abusive or threatening it may be an offence, the two main ones are Malicious Communications and Harassment.
If there has only been a single communication, which would be insufficient for the offence of harassment (above), there could be an offence relating to malicious communications. For such an offence to be committed, a message must be sent to another person (or sent via a public communications network) that is indecent, grossly offensive, obscene or threatening/menacing.
The word "harassment" does not have a legal definition, but the words alarm, distress or torment are the best words used to describe it. The incidents must be related and must not be two isolated incidents. The further apart the incidents are, the less likely there is to be an offence of harassment. However, all the circumstances of the incident will be taken into account when determining if an offence has been committed.
The law takes into account the "reasonable person" test. This means that if it was felt that a person of reasonable firmness (i.e. the average person on the street) would not be alarmed or distressed, the offence is not committed. The person sending the messages must also be aware that the course of conduct they are pursuing would cause the victim to alarmed or distressed."

Report him to his employer.

Yep, report it to the police.

I think she should put in a complaint into his police force. I don't know if it could amount to a threat or harassment but I would find out independently before approaching them (maybe 101?) to give weight to the complaint. I know it's off duty but saying he hopes his child and its mother die is pretty unsavoury behaviour for someone in a position of power. Also she could complain to the bank to see if they could do anything. It must be quite unsettling and intimidating for her to see every time.

I think there may have been spaces omitted + u rather than you. That sort of thing

Police. It's vile behaviour.

Complain to the OIPC and PDF please. They need to get rid of these bad apples

Professional Standards for his force. They won't like this at all and will sort it.

Echoing what the others say. That’s disgusting and I’m sure his employers won’t ignore it.

I would definitely put in a complaint about him!!!

I am so sorry for your poor friend.

Frightening to think that people like this are employed to protect the public!!

That is just the tip of the iceberg with regard to his behaviour. So, yes, frightening

I think it should be reported. However, if it is likely to lead to a disciplinary/firing I wouldn’t as I would worry about him not getting paid and then me not getting the cms.

Can she go direct through cms instead?

i know its not the same as wayne couzens but this give me the chills-they think theyre bloody invincible