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Original poster

Urgent help - DS being threatened

83 replies

LotsOfNothing · 16/06/2022 16:20

Posting in chat for traffic. Name changed for obvious reasons.

DS 15, at local comp. Decent school with a few bad eggs. He's had problems with a kid on and off, who is the younger brother of a boy who we know is caught up on gang culture. This kid has taken his lunch money a couple of times and tried to get DS to steal things for him etc but so far DS has managed to avoid getting involved.

Today this kid has told DS that if he doesn't give him £150 he will stab him. DS says this boy is a loose canon with something to prove so his threat is not to be completely disregarded. He told DS that if he paid up, that would be the end of it all.

Of course DS wants to pay but I think this will make him an easy (and lucrative) target and the demands will continue.

But obviously I want to keep him safe.

Talking to school is pointless. They can't keep DS safe outside of school and from what in understand regarding this boys family and acquaintances, the school would be completely out of their depth. Police involvement would instantly mark DS out as a grass to some very nasty people which is also a danger.

have worked with kids like this before so I understand the dangers and also, sadly, the ineffectiveness of police in this kind of situation.

DS is now crying and frightened and I am also worried. I don't care about the money and if I thought that would be the end of it, I'd give it to DS in a heartbeat, but I'm not sure it would be the end of it. I think there is a chance this boy would tell others where he got the money and DS would have more people trying it on.

I haven't told DH yet as he would definitely tell DS not to pay a penny and stand up toto this boy, but I am worried that this makes DS vulnerable and DS doesn't really get how this could escalate.

I want to punch the little shit and don't know what to do.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Tickledtrout · 16/06/2022 16:22

Safeguarding lead at school and the police.

Applespearsandoranges · 16/06/2022 16:24

I have no advice what a horrific situation

could you pay the money and then remove your ds from school?

BattenburgDonkey · 16/06/2022 16:24

You need to tell school and the police. I’m not sure what other advice people can reasonably give. Giving the kid the money obviously won’t end this, and anything else risks your child being stabbed. So I would keep him home while the police and school deal with this. And personally I’d look to move away from this gang and this culture that you are living in.

EducatingArti · 16/06/2022 16:26

No real words of wisdom but I am so sorry that this is happening!
My thoughts are...
No way should you pay the money. It will only lead to more demands down the line.
School should be made aware. Even if they can't manage what happens outside school they need to know that this issue is going on so they can keep an eye on your son's welfare in school with respect to whatever contact he has there with this other boy.
I think you need to contact the police for advice. There are steps in-between making a formal statement and the other boy being arrested and doing nothing. They may well have some advice born out of experience of previous cases as to what you can do.
Go hug your son and reassure him that you can work a way through these things together.

Original poster
LotsOfNothing · 16/06/2022 16:28

@BattenburgDonkey we are in leafy l suburb. Gang culture not a problem locally at all, just unfortunate that the one bad egg from the one estate where there are problems. has singled DS out. Changing schools won't help, this boy is very local.

I know obvious answer is school amd police, but k owing what I know, this is actually a very precarious step to take. Hence post.

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 16/06/2022 16:30

Oh that's awful. You absolutely need to involve the school and possibly police. And don't pay the money.

I guess DS. is year 10, so moving schools isn't an option. Please insist that the school take this seriously and take steps to safeguard your DS

RedCarsGoFaster · 16/06/2022 16:32

School and Police. And I'd call them ASAP.

I'm afraid there is no other option.

Has DS seen this kid with a knife before? Any other reports that could corroborate whether this kid is a realistic threat?

BlackAndPinkNose · 16/06/2022 16:33

God what a horrific situation to be in. I would contact the school to ensure that your DS and/or this boy is accompanied everywhere in school at all times.

Can you arrange to pick up and drop off your son to/from school for the forseeable future?

If you can keep your son away from this boy, then he stops being a target?

Wallywobbles · 16/06/2022 16:33

Can you pick up and drop off. Just keep him safe.

Do you know anyone above the boy in the local scene? Or do you know any seriously scary people. My guess is that is the only sure way to keep him safe.

BattenburgDonkey · 16/06/2022 16:34

You can talk to the police without them acting on it straight away though, phone them and chat to them, this will be more common than you think and it might put you at ease speaking to them. And I meant move house, not saying you should but if I was worried about my child being stabbed and didn’t think the police or school could help, and that he could get further targeting by a gang for grassing, then I’d be relocating. It wouldn’t help this current situation anyway though, but the police have to be your first step. Imagine if this escalated further even a little bit and you’d done nothing? I no it’s scary OP but it’s the best first step you can make. Sorry you are all going through this.

Chevyimpala67 · 16/06/2022 16:35

DSL at school
Police
Copy in your MP
Don't fuck about

1000yardstare · 16/06/2022 16:36

Police. School. Now.
Keep DS off school until his safety can be guaranteed on site. Tell school to provide online learning.
DO NOT KEEP THIS QUIET.
Chances are he's already known to police.

Original poster
LotsOfNothing · 16/06/2022 16:36

I'm pretty sure if we told the school they'd do a great job of keeping him safe at school

They can do nothing about keeping him safe outside of school though. And this is where the danger lies.

DS wants to squash rather than escalate and so do I, but I don't k ow how to.

How would I get off the record advice from local police? 111? Another way?

Thank fucking cos DS at least told me. The boy said if he told anyone he'd be fucked so he hasn't told his mates. But I'm so glad he at least told me.

OP posts:
Lochroy · 16/06/2022 16:38

Your DS is 15. You make the decisions on this one. Police. Now.

Chevyimpala67 · 16/06/2022 16:38

LotsOfNothing · 16/06/2022 16:36

I'm pretty sure if we told the school they'd do a great job of keeping him safe at school

They can do nothing about keeping him safe outside of school though. And this is where the danger lies.

DS wants to squash rather than escalate and so do I, but I don't k ow how to.

How would I get off the record advice from local police? 111? Another way?

Thank fucking cos DS at least told me. The boy said if he told anyone he'd be fucked so he hasn't told his mates. But I'm so glad he at least told me.

They can make appropriate referrals
County lines
Prevent etc
Stop fucking about

Chevyimpala67 · 16/06/2022 16:40

Chevyimpala67 · 16/06/2022 16:38

They can make appropriate referrals
County lines
Prevent etc
Stop fucking about

Show quote history

If this were an adult menacing your child for money and threatening gbh what would you do?

Original poster
LotsOfNothing · 16/06/2022 16:40

I can pick up and drop off in the short term, yes.

OP posts:
Ferrarilover · 16/06/2022 16:42

You must tell both the school and the police. I would also be looking at moving house to a different area.
I would also keep your DS at home if he is in danger. He can keep up with his education online, until you get the situation sorted out permanently - by moving.

JustTheOneSwan · 16/06/2022 16:42

You can't pay.
If you do, even if this kid stops, people will know he pays so you will make him a target.
If you want him to continue at that school you must tell them.
If you are determined not to alert school and police (threatening violence and demanding with menaces is police matter) you need to take him out of school and move him.
What an absolute nightmare,I'm sorry this is happening to him.

Threetulips · 16/06/2022 16:43

I would keep him off school for the next week and see if things calm down - I wouldn’t bloke the boy but I would record all messages - use your phone to record if on snap chat - keep him away and see if the boy moves on.

Original poster
LotsOfNothing · 16/06/2022 16:46

We can't move. I have an elderly parent with dementia to care for another DS doing Al Levels amd DH and I work in this area.

Even of those things weren't prohibitive, We are paying off debts post Covid work loss, and don't have money for a move.

This is not me not taking it seriously, if I wasn't I'd not have hesitated to call school, it's actually an indicator of how much weight I am giving these threats that I am hesitating. I have seen kids like this in my previous job and they don't give a shot about school/law. They just want to look good to their peers.

OP posts:
1000yardstare · 16/06/2022 16:47

Stop trying to minimise this- it's a criminal act.
Report it now! And then report every single fucking thing the scrote tries after. DS stays home and accompanied at all times. No school, no socialising unless at yours, until the threat is dealt with.

Wallywobbles · 16/06/2022 16:47

Any chance of you talking to the older brother? I know it seems risky but I can't see a better solution. Unless you shoot the little fucker.

JuneOsborne · 16/06/2022 16:48

Agree. Don't fuck about. Go to the police. Go to the school. Keep Ds home outside of school hours. Make a right royal fuss.

Your poor Ds.

worriedaboutmoney2022 · 16/06/2022 16:48

Tickledtrout · 16/06/2022 16:22

Safeguarding lead at school and the police.

Exactly this
Do not even think about paying that's crazy