What is sex

[purpleme12]

My child is 8
How should I explain what is sex?
She knows you make a baby by having sex but she doesn't know what it is.
What is the right thing to say at this age?

We got a book called 'How to talk about the birds and the bees' which was recommended by someone on here. I read through it first, including the section for grown ups, and then read it to the kids. I try to read it to them every so often and they sometimes pick it out too. We read it tonight actually. Started when they were 5 and 7. Highly recommend. Felt a bit nervous the first few times but now it's totally fine. We also have 'Mummy laid an egg' which they love and works well for younger but the now 8 year old enjoys too. The two books work well together as they approach the same topic in different ways.

I'm not uncomfortable telling the truth and what not.
I just honestly didn't know what the best thing to say was, how to verbalise it
She wants me to tell her.

The truth in simple language

You need to get comfortable with talking to your daughter. You have a responsibility to educate and guide her. She needs to hear the truth.

Daddy produces sperms, which mixes with mammys eggs and created a baby. Daddy's sperm has to go inside mammy so he puts his penis inside mammys vagina. She should know those words already

They ate 8 - and you've never explained sex, at all?

I just can't understand that.

Anyway, buy an age-appropriate book & take it from there.

The general guidance is to answer the questions they ask honestly but without too much extra information - just what they ask. So as they go along they always have a certain understanding of what sex & other biological functions are, without any big reveal.

• are, not ate

No I have not.
There is really no need to be so surprised
I have no problems with it but had no need to explain she's never asked

There is really no need to be so surprise

She probably wouldn't have asked 'what's sex?' But surely she has asked about male / female biological differences, periods, babies?

It's really unusual that none of those topics have come up by 8, and these all form the basis of talks about sex.

If you just tried to baldly state what sex was it would sound odd and possibly off-putting. It's a about simple information, within a context.

It's really unusual that none of those topics have come up by 8, and these all form the basis of talks about sex.

Is it that unusual? Neither of mine EVER asked anything and I found myself having to have 'the talk' with a nine year old ds....

She knows what periods are and has done for years and years and we have the toilet door open.
Yes she's asked about babies and in the past I've said about sperm and egg but that's as far as it had to go she didn't need any more which readi years ago.
Obviously she knows differences in boy and girl anatomy!

This question in this thread was about sex. I think it's ok to ask the best way to explain this

But I have never said I'm uncomfortable
I have simply asked the best way

Thank you.
I didn't know if this was ok way of saying it about putting the penis into the vagina

Ah, ok.

So she does know a little about sex in terms of having babies / periods - as when you explain both of these, you explain about sex in terms of sperm from the man meeting an egg from the woman, and a period happening when no egg & sperm meet, so no 'bed' for fertilised egg.

Explaining further about sex can just be an expansion of this - that sex is where two people show their love for each other physically, for a man & a woman this is what that means, clear description of sex. The book is good for them to read themselves.

A bit, I'd have thought. And sex is quite pervasive even on kids-appropriate TV programmes, that I'm surprised if there are no questions.

Mine would have said things like 'but how does Daddy put the seed in Mammy's tummy?' And so on, so I'd answer the question.

Never had the Talk. Do discuss a lot around sex, love, respect, emotions.

I didn't know if this was ok way of saying it about putting the penis into the vagina

Why wouldn't it be?

You do need more context tho. As that sounds so odd to an 8 yo! So depending on your own beliefs / values, you can talk about love, physical feelings etc & how those link with sex.

Well the context is about making a baby.
Like I say I just didn't know the best way if describing it

Well the context is about making a baby.

I meant, don't just say 'penis in vagina', as the post from you I quoted indicated.

You need to say more about the context - sex isn't only about making a baby, so you're not telling her that I hope?

You need to be honest & age-appropriate.

That's why I said about values & beliefs. Different families will contextualise sex in different ways.

My DD learnt quite a bit at school already. We just said it's making a baby by the man putting his penis inside the vagina

Ok.
Did you explain anything else about it like the above poster said?
Just trying to ascertain the best way that's all

Ok so I guess like saying about doing it when you're grown up and love each other and trust each other?

Sorry yes, explain it happens when two people love each other etc. The penis in vagina is more how babies are made. Sex is about emotions etc.

I think the penis in the vagina thing is fine. But I'd say it's also essential to do this alongside reinforcing the pants rule explaining that it's for adults and that their penis/vagina is only for them etc. Etc. Talk about consent and how to tell you if anyone asks about what's in their pants.

Just try to answer all questions honestly but without embellishments. I have an 8 year old. However he has 14 year old sister who is not shy about sharing what she knows so he knows it all and I'm sure a few extras that aren't needed

My dd is starting to learn this sort of thing at school, perhaps you could ask the school what they are doing and make sure anything you tell her ties in with that.
My dd just wouldn't listen if I gave her a talk so we just tell her stuff as and when it comes up.