10 year old at a church service. Need to take something to occupy?

[AaaarghSchool]

DD is 10 and has never been to church before. Tomorrow she has to sit through a confirmation service which I imagine will be quite long. When I was 10 (and younger) this wouldn't have been an issue, but I was taken to church every Sunday so was used to it. We don't really talk about religion so she has no real idea what will happen. DH has helpfully told her it will be very boring!
I could e.g. give her a small book to take, one of her Lego dot bracelets or a bracelet that turns into an animal. Or tell her to read the Bible if she's bored 😂Do they still put bibles in every pew?
Or is it OTT and I should expect her to sit through without any fuss?

At 10? Yes. I'd be concerned if she couldn't. Surely she has to sit through school assemblies in silence?

DH has hit the nail on the head!

Just give her a book to read.

I’ve given DD a book in similar circumstances. No one will mind if she’s just quietly reading.

Surely she has to sit through school assemblies in silence?
Her school doesn't do assemblies except at the end of the year. I went to her first one and the head droned on and on, by the end all the staff, parents and children were whispering to each other. I was Anyway, I imagine a confirmation service will be longer than that.

At that age we took a book if it was going to be a particularly long service / there was no Sunday school. Personally I’d say that’s easier than your other options, as no small parts to drop or lose.

At 10 she shouldn't need occupying surely.

I think by 10 she should be able to manage without distractions. Every church is different so it's impossible to say if there are bibles in the pews or even if there are pews, many churches no longer have them. Hopefully whoever is leading the service and preaching will assess the age range of the congregation and try to make it as inclusive as possible. She may even find seeing how the bishop and other priests dress, and how the ceremony proceeds interesting if it's something she has never experienced before.

unless there’s a drip feed I would 100% expect a 10yo to be able to sit through a church service

She's 10. A five year old, yes, I'd take something to occupy them. But at 10 I think she should be able to properly 'be present', and others would expect her to be so. Presumably the person bring confirmed is around her age too?

Yes, it will be boring, but daydreaming is becoming a lost art (that's how I spent a very large proportion of my childhood) and practising it will stand her in good stead!

At age 10 she should be able to sit still and listen politely, even if it is a bit boring. She's not a preschooler...

Mine sat through my confirmation at 4,5 and 8! It's not all that long and as others have said lots to look at. They are very celebratory services so sitting in absolute silence is not really required! There may even be an adult baptism as well if anyone being confirmed has not yet been baptised. Mine found that fascinating. I'd use it is a learning experience. Even if not Christian there's lots to look at, singing, music, moving around etc etc.
(BTW I am talking CofE can't comment on other denominations)

At 10 I think it would be respectful to the person whose confirmation it is, as well as the other members of the congregation if she could sit and listen. If she doesn’t ‘believes’ she could see it as educational/interesting and she is there support the person being confirmed?

I can't believe you're asking OP, she's TEN!! If she can't sit in church for a service there's something wrong. It does kids good to be bored now and then and you never know, she might get something from it.

God, she's 10! She doesn't need to sit there playing with Lego at a Confirmation service

She isn't 4, she should be able to sit politely thru a service without lego.

It might not be the highlight of her week, but is certainly manageable.

I went to a first communion at a Catholic church. I'd grown up going to a C of E church most weeks, but this was immensely long - nearly 2 hours. It was a bit boring (sorry ) and it wasn't something you could follow from a book, but I was amazed at the amount of people that just started chatting to the people around them during the service! (That felt a bit disrespectful to me) BIL left after about an hour and brought back some lollies for the kids and then I was panicking about DS (3) with a lolly!

The hymn book is always nice to look through...that's what I used to do at mass around her age, flick through the hymn book and choose the songs I liked best.

I'm a regular church-goer. My church provides little sheets for the children to do if they want (writing down what the text is, drawing a picture of something mentioned, that sort of thing) to help keep them occupied and engaged. I would take a notebook and pens/ pencils, then she can draw if she likes - no one at my church would bat an eyelid at a child that age drawing in the service.

Bibles in the pews vanished in some churches due to Covid and not all have yet returned IME so I wouldn't bank on that!

My children are 4, 6 & 8 and attend a Catholic school, and go to church most weeks so are admittedly very used to it and have been since they were tiny, but can sit through a long baptism/communion with no issue and they all sat through the 1.5hr Easter Sunday service without even fidgeting an inch. A 10yr old can definitely manage!

If you can sit through it without distraction, then really a 10 year old should be able to (barring any SEN). I guess you could take a book along but it would look quite rude i think.

The communion service doesn't take two hours. I can't believe your BIL actually went out in the middle to buy bloody lollies??
Why not have the manners to just leave?

My 10 year old has Autism and ADHD. We are not church goers.

But occasionally his scout group go amd he manages fine.

I’ve never given him anything to play with as I think it’s disrespectful. You are there to be part of the service. If he can do it your dd can if there’s no SN!

My child managed to sit through a church service at 10. It was a funeral for someone she didn’t now that well, but that social conventions (and all our normal child child care being at the service) meant she had to attend. She was fine.

We did explain the service beforehand and told her to save up any questions that came up during the service and we could discuss in the car on the way home. We explained that her job was to support the main mourners by attending. They would find great comfort in seeing her there. We needed to be respectful of their religious beliefs by being quiet. We explained that we did not need to participate in any way, but she was free to participate if she wanted, except for one particular part of the ceremony that was reserved for members.

taking a book is a good idea if she starts to get bored. I go to church & I see this sometimes. It’s not a big deal. We all get bored sometimes, no matter what age you are!