10 year old at a church service. Need to take something to occupy?

[AaaarghSchool]

DD is 10 and has never been to church before. Tomorrow she has to sit through a confirmation service which I imagine will be quite long. When I was 10 (and younger) this wouldn't have been an issue, but I was taken to church every Sunday so was used to it. We don't really talk about religion so she has no real idea what will happen. DH has helpfully told her it will be very boring!
I could e.g. give her a small book to take, one of her Lego dot bracelets or a bracelet that turns into an animal. Or tell her to read the Bible if she's bored 😂Do they still put bibles in every pew?
Or is it OTT and I should expect her to sit through without any fuss?

Yes. Colouring in. At 10. There's colouring in books marketed for adults now. Lots of people enjoy sitting and colouring in, its a quiet and therapeutic activity. If OP is worried her child will be bored then it's usually an option in a lot of churches.

Why on earth is she going to a church service at all if she has to be entertained with fecking Lego?

Just keep her home until she's mature enough not to need distracting with toys, ffs!

A 10 year old should be able to manage.

Unless she has additional needs she should be able to sit politely through a church service.

The most recent confirmation I attended was young person focused and about 45 minutes long.

If she is not familiar with church she may even find it interesting.

Why are you making her go if you're at home though? Seems harsh.

At 10 she should be perfectly capable of just joining in with the service. It’s all about your expectations and modelling.

Mummumtum ·

unless there’s a drip feed I would 100% expect a 10yo to be able to sit through a church service”

this. Our school had chapel service twice each week and the nursery children were brought in for one of them. A few fidgeted but on the whole they managed very well.

at 10, surprised this would be an issue.

Wouldnt have been able to cope with the jubilee stuff then , unlike the Cambridge kids (mostly) who are not 10

Unless there's a particular reason your daughter can't cope with sitting still that long, then I think she should sit and listen and participate as much or as little as she feels comfortable to do. I think taking a book or Lego is rude at that age, and a bit of boredom won't do her any harm. But she needs to learn to conceal that boredom when the occasion is important to someone else.

All the pp's bragging about how perfectly their very young dc will sit silently for hours at a time - I'm not sure this is the parenting success you seem to think it is. It is perfectly normal for dc to seek stimulation

I'm not sure bragging your children constantly seek stimulation is something to brag about. Thinking and daydreaming are perfectly normal things for children.

At 10 she should be able to sit still and listen without toys/entertainment. Understandable for toddlers to bring something to keep them distracted, but after school age (unless there are additional needs/circumstances) it's just rude.

My son is 10 with learning difficulties. He could sit still for this if told to do so! Dd def could at 10!

This child is 10!

Teach her to have some respect for the service and the other people there and listen to what's going on

THIS. At 10, I'd fully expect my dc to pay attention. If they're bored, let them be bored - they're old enough to deal with it.

Cringing at the thought of taking a 10 year old a book, never mind colouring or lego - how rude. I'd probably take a couple of books for my 5 year old but by 7 or 8 latest they'd be expected to deal with it.

Wow. How unbelievably rude to go and get lollies

I do not think it is rude to read a book.

What's the point in being there if you're not paying attention? How's that not disrespectful to the people holding and being involved in the service?

Jesus OP. So someone who smokes sat next to you. So what?!

A normal ten year old should be sitting through the service like everyone else.

I'd find it very weird if a 10 year old couldn't just sit there for an hour without a book or Lego or some colouring to occupy them. 10 year olds don't need to be babied to that degree. Can't she just sit and observe or have a bit of a daydream?