What do you think about this?

[Donaldduck22]

My brother has asked me if I want to start looking after his daughter, my neice, on a regular basis. It's come out of the blue a bit. My neice is 15 months. I work part time but want to increase my hours. I've said I'll think about it but it feels like a really big responsibility especially because at that age they need so much.

Do you have children of your own?
Would you be paid the going rate?

No kids, wouldn't be paid.

Is this just his attempt to get free childcare?

Is there some reason you can't just say "no thanks!"?

If you want to increase your hours and don't want to do it then I would politely decline. Just say you're sorry but you have asked for more hours at work and these can come at short notice so you cannot commit.

Would massively curtail your freedom on a certain day a week. He would expect you to be free every week on that day and that is very restrictive.

Surely the questions you need to answer is:

1. Do you want to?
2. If yes set your conditions i.e. days/times etc
3. If no "I can't bro"

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa 😂
I have to admit his balls for asking though.

My brother has asked me if I want to start looking after his daughter, my neice, on a regular basis

Your brother is a wordsmith. I wonder if he should have actually said ‘I want you to look after my bairn for free aaaaaaaall the time*

His request looks like he is doing you a favour by ‘letting’ you have a babe in arms to look after.

Awww.

Regardless of his expectations, would it be something you would actively want to do?

You wouldn't be paid? Not a chance. Your brother is trying to take total advantage of you. Don't be a mug, tell him the answer is NO.

If there’s no pay or benefit why would you do it?
presuming you work - how can he expect this of you?

What does he suggest is in it for you?

He’s having a chuckle. Just say no. Don’t give excuses, don’t justify it, just say no.

It would either be a firm No or tell him it's £50 per hour.

I think the fact he has even suggested such a fucking ludicrous idea to you, tells you all you need to know.

Refuse and never look back.

No I wouldn't do it.

Unbelievable, your DB and his wife are a pair of CFs. They’ve probably just realised just how much childcare costs and are trying to find a way to cut costs. Exploiting members of their family is not it!

When my 2DC were in nursery together, there was a period of about 6 months that we could have paid a second mortgage with the childcare fees. It was only sustainable for this time as we were both in well paid jobs and could take the hit knowing that free hours would kick in for DS1.

They are being cheeky - I look after grandchildren for free on specific days - but I offered - a whole different ball game.

Check out the going rate for childminders in your area and let him know your rate

Just say no.

He has said its not about money.
I really don't know what to do and its making me feel very anxious. I suffer with anxiety anyway. On one hand it might be quite nice to look after my neice but I don't feel like I could commit to more than one day a month - I find looking after my neices and nephews SO exhausting honestly I have so much respect for parents.

You have got to say no to this request. Your brother is being a total CF asking you.

A normal aunt thing to do would be looking after the little one...
... at least sometimes in same moments you are already looking after your own kids
... occasionally as a one off to let them have a break, nice meal out

Not on a regular basis unpaid when you don't even have your own kids. You'd have to be child-besotted to do that.

Not about the money?

then he won’t mind if you say ‘no’ then will he cherub?

It might be nice? Indeed it might. But it might not if it becomes expected for the next 10-14 years. And he will wail ‘but you agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeed’.

As others say - it would be proper lovely now and again.

I very much suspect your now and again will be your time to yourself.

Just say no OP. I don't know anyone who looks after their sibling's DC on a regular basis.