What do you think about this?

[Donaldduck22]

My brother has asked me if I want to start looking after his daughter, my neice, on a regular basis. It's come out of the blue a bit. My neice is 15 months. I work part time but want to increase my hours. I've said I'll think about it but it feels like a really big responsibility especially because at that age they need so much.

He is taking the piss! Total cheeky twat! I'm honestly flabbergasted!

Fwiw my sister looked after my little one but she offered and I paid her.

No way! It's nice to babysit occassionally (IF you want to!) but don't agree to do it regularly it will be like increasing your work hours without getting paid.

My parents looked after both of mine for free until they were 3 and we got free hours but they insisted, I didn't ask.

If it’s not about money, he or the child’s mother can work fewer days and look after their own child. Or, you know, use childcare like the rest of us!

Lol if it's not about the money he can pay you can't he?

"Not about the money" works both ways

Am I missing something? I don't get it.

You want to increase your hours at work

You're considering saying yes to doing regular unpaid childcare that you find difficult

Not adding up. Why did you say you'll think about! Why didn't you say 'no' ?

If he's not going to pay you what's in it for you?! It'd be a no from me. I love my nieces to bits but when they were small I was childless and I couldn't/wouldn't have committed to looking after them regularly, even on a paid basis. Happy to babysit for an afternoon or evening occasionally but no more than that. Fortunately for me though dsis isn't a cf so wouldn't even have thought about it!
It's really OK to say no.

There's nothing wrong with saying what you have said here. That you want to look at increasing your hours so can't take her each week but you would be able to offer a day a month. That sounds fine to me.

Otherwise he can look after his own kid cant he. If its not about the money then he can take the hit of losing some pay instead of you.

I wouldn't do it even if was paid. These arrangements have a pattern of being difficult and it sounds like you may struggle to set boundaries for yourself while he sounds like a CF. A 15 month old us just getting into a tricky age and it also sounds like childcare isn't something you feel all that confident with. I would definitely say no.

Hi Bro! Thanks for thinking of me, but I wouldn't want to take on childcare. Happy to be the Fun Aunt though - let me know when I can pop round to see you all!

What have you said to your brother, @Donaldduck22 ? Are you actually considering doing this!!?

He's worded it as if he's doing you a favour! What a nerve expecting free childcare
Say simply " No that doesn't work for me" No ifs, buts or maybes as he will try to convince you.

@Shinyandnew1 considering one day a month.

Not a chance I’d do this unpaid. Or paid to be honest!

Was bad enough looking after my own toddlers, no way would I do it for my brother except for one off occasional babysitting for a few hours maximum.

Ha! Ha! Reminds me of the time my brother asked me to look after his THREE children (all at school) whilst he and SIL went to have a lovely time in Mexico!! He was a bit surprised when I said I was working (ie far from retirement age) and logistically wasn't possible as they lived in the sticks and I was carless at the time. I was told "we thought you'd like it and you'd like first refusal...) 😂😂🌹

Did my commit to anything. Tell them you don't mind looking after her if it helps them (so he knows you are doing him a favour) on an ad hoc basis, depending on what you have planned at the time.

There’s no way in hell I would look after someone’s kid on a regularly. Especially at that age. They need constant watching and entertaining which to me is a drudgery. I might do it if I was getting 30 an hour or something outrageous like that and most def wouldn’t do it for free unless it was a once every few months thing.