I can't afford life, I don't know what to do

[VirginMedium]

I earn a pretty good wage for the last 5 years or so. but I am a SP to a teen and a tween and I haven't always. over the years I have added to the mortgage and bought things on HP to pay for maintenance and washing machines, dryers etc. it has caught up with me. I have about £10k in loans and I am at my £2k overdraft limit and it's only the 9th of the month, 3 weeks until pay day.

I don't think we are extravagant, and my eldest works part time and funds herself mostly. it is pretty much just household bills and credit payments!

WTAF am I going to do??

Could you rent a room out?

Or ask for a mortgage holiday?

As prev posters have mentioned, review your immediate spending - make sure you have enough for food & bills for the rest of the month - if not then you have to suck up an impact on credit score

once you’ve done that you should do a budget to see where your money is going, you might be able to pay off one of your HP items early, we did this with washing machine & it saved us the equivalent of 3 months instalments

also as other posters have said, you all need to reign in on spending, food, fun and travel stuff - prices are increasing so maybe that’s eaten into your £££ and you might find partner/kids are relying on you more lately than you’ve noticed and that all adds up (my hubby sometimes gets things on our joint card that is normally buy on my own one if I were getting it - these soon make a difference & we have to chip in more to joint account for bills)

good luck

Martin Lewis is good & has a load of free resources like budget planners etc

I think you have to be issued with vouchers to go to a food bank but hoping you have enough food.

I think you just need to rearrange your payments, OP.

Can you consolidate into a loan over a longer term so hou can spread the cost? If you can there are loans at 2.8%Apr at the mo if your credit rating is good.

£12k debt isn't a lot - we previously racked up £65k - hubby ill, stopped working, kids with childminder cos hubby too ill - it only takes a short time to be in a mess! But fortunately I was made redundant so cleared it as I had a jib to go to and we never had any debt since.

I have a credit card that pays me to use it and it gets cleared every month. I have a mortgage that I can (now) afford to overpay, so I do.

All of us are only a few paychecks away from homelessness :(

Consolidating debt will take all the stress away. Good luck x

Try Payplan ..charge a very minimal fee

Quite a lot of food banks do debt management. They might also be able to help with food in the short term. We went there for financial help, not food, and they were brilliant. It’s an awful position to be in so hope you find a solution. Good luck

Could you rent out a room? You can earn up to 7.5k a year tax free doing that?

Please read Dave Ramsey's Total Money makeover. Borrow it from the library, it won't cost anything and it's worth a shot. Ramsey is an absolute dick, but he knows what he's taking about when it comes to getting out of debt and budgeting. He has a podcast which is a decent listen, but when he starts talking about anything other than getting out of debt, zone out for those bits (see dick comment, he really is a massive Trump level dick).

First thing would be is to ring your mortgage provider and see if you can change the deal you are on to a better one. It is straightforward and not scary at all as I've found out in the past to my benefit. Second thing would be to look at the other debts - are they loans or on credit cards ? If on credit cards look at changing to another one that offers interest free transfer - equally your mortgage provider may have a better option to consolidate all your loans into just one debt at a cheaper rate and lower cost overall. You are doing an amazing job - no need for food banks :) just make that one phone call and think you will be sorted.

you definitely need to take the advice about getting help with your debt . And your credit rating should not be a concern as it’s probably the debt and interest that is dragging you further down . Once you get help hopefully you won’t need to borrow again. .

let us know how you get on .

Step change, it's a great charity. They can either do a debt management, where yoy pay what you can to your creditors, they stop calling you. You tell them all your outgoings, they then work out how much you can afford. I only pay £58 as that's all I can afford.
Or you could do a IVA, where your debt is payed off, in 5 years or so. But that can affect your credit score.
They don't charge you for the service, like some other debt managements do.
There could be other options, but they are best to call and ask for advice.

I think others have said similar but:

1 step change- yes it will harm your credit rating but if you’re struggling at some point things will crack and you may well get behind anyway, better to do it now

2 put all outgoings/income on a spreadsheet and see where/if you can save anything f

3 is there a community kitchen near you? Unlike a good bank you don’t need a voucher & you can pick up free food that is nearing its best before date but is perfectly edible.

4 not sure how much you earn but you have a disability so are you getting everything you’re entitled to? Try the website www.entitledto.co.uk/ to check

5 contact step change- I’m staying this twice because honestly this time in a year you’ll be glad you did!

6 hang in there, no situation is unsalvageable

xx

Sorry for typos but you get my drift! I’m not even on the wine yet 😂😂

I would be total honest with your DC too. I know it easy to splurge a bit at Xmas but you can't do that when you are in debt. In your shoes I would look in freezer and store cupboards and take an inventory. If you have several frozen joints of meat, think of meal plans you can do. That would mean have a really cheap week for food shopping just buying basics milk, bread etc. Do you have much tinned food in store cupboards? If so again earmark some for towards the end of month. Try to aim for 25 percent reduction in food. Once a week have baked potato with filling. If necessary have beans on toast for weekend lunch. Get some cheap and filling dry noodles, have those one evening. Pad out a Bolognese with lentils and tinned tomatoes. Freeze a few portions for end of month. Can your teen help you with cooking and freezing food if you are disabled? Pick up basics tin foil, cling film etc. Cut back on gas/electricity. Tell kids less TV, not to leave lights on etc. Are childrens' Dad paying enough maintenance? Would he agree to pay a bit more for girls lunches/ clothes.

Step change worked for me. Frozen interest and really small payments. I am still a single parent but without the debt. Life is much nicer. Credit score plummeted but recovered to even better.

I don’t know whether you have the app TooGoodToGo, but you can pay online and collect it in the evening. I did it for the first time last week at the Co-op, although I’ve had the app for a few weeks, but hadn’t plucked up the courage to use it. Mine cost £3.30. When I got it home and added everything up it was worth about £12.60. It’s things that are on the last day of the use by date. I got stir fry veg, a loaf, bunch of 10 tulips, a pizza and a coffee and walnut cake. I intend to use it once a week. It stops groceries being wasted so you’ll be doing a good thing by collecting them. I was hesitant at first, because I felt almost like I was taking them away from someone else, but you are saving them from being wasted. There are usually about eight bags and if you book in the morning you’re very likely to get one. When I collected mine I said is it okay if I look in the bags, because I didn’t want anything with red meat and the guy said of course pick which one you want you’ve paid for it. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t do it more than once a week, but I am on my own so I will probably just stick with that. Good luck with everything. Xx

Work out your essential expenditure - utilities, mortgage and see how much is left after these. Then work out what you spend the rest of your money on and see which need to be looked at for cost saving. Food is an obvious one for saving money but also subscriptions that aren't vital or you can do without. Then work out what you can budget for debts. Then speak to your loan companies and explain you can't manage their current repayments and negotiate to what you can manage. I've found most companies helpful if you speak to them before starting to default. I'm out of debt now but my ex left me a single parent with 10K debt to sort out.

I really feel for you, OP.

4 years ago I was drowning in debt and was usually skint one week into the month. I was constantly taking out payday loans and robbing Peter to pay Paul. The stress was unbearable and I'd just had a rack of tests for cancer (which was diagnosed about a week later).

I decided I had to do something there and then and went to Stepchange. My total debts added up to about £18,500. Now there really is light at the end of the tunnel and I'll be totally debt free by March 2023.

I was anxious about speaking to them as I thought they'd be really judgey but they weren't. We agreed a sensible and manageable budget and affordable payments. The amount I saved in interest probably covered my monthly payments. I slept peacefully that night for the first time in years and the whole situation turned around. It's had such a positive effect on me and my children.

Looking back, I wish I'd made the call sooner. Here I am, mercifully cancer-free with the remaining debt soon to bugger off as well.

Pick up the phone, OP. I can't begin to tell you how much lighter you'll feel afterwards.

Wishing you the best of luck with your journey.

Hi OP! I am a CAP Supporter. This is what happens generally. Two lovely, non judgemental people will come and see you in your own home and chat to you about how it all works. Next visit, You give them all of your bills/paperwork including any debts and credit card details. Also a bank statement. They take it all away and Head Office work out a payment plan for you that is manageable. All further correspondence is dealt with by CAP so you don’t need to talk to you debtors at all. Any further correspondence is just handed over to CAP. Big relief for many. You can get a Food Bank pass, and often they can provide you with things that you need that other people are happy to get rid of. The supporter will keep in touch with you, visit and may even take you for a coffee and a catch up to see how you’re doing. CAP can often also access funds for things like school uniforms, etc from the Trussell Trust and others. You are not just another person in debt. CAP really do care about you as a person.

Some good advice on here. I have joined 'Branded Surveys' to earn some more money. Worth looking into. I also have been selling surplus books through ziffit.

CAP don’t charge for debt advice and have a very high success rate for getting debt reduced. Don’t be put off because you might not be a Churchgoer because Christian’s Against Poverty help anyone in need. Might be worth a phone call. Good luck.

how much do yo spend a week on food? I think you said somewhere that you think it is too much. Maybe we could help you reduce that if you tell us how much and which supermarkets you use.

Hi OP, yes as PP mentioned, CAP is completely free of charge. And as I said before, they really do care about you as a person. They will support you all the way till your debt is cleared if that’s what you want.

@VirginMedium can you get in contact with citizens advice. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and they talked me through all the options available to me and because I was on such a low wage I got approved for a DRO which I think was supposed to cost £100 but due to my low wage it got paid for me. It stays on your credit file for 6 years but honestly I would rather that black mark than all the default notices that were popping up on my file each month because I physically couldn't afford to pay anything. I was earning £100 a week and my rent was £85 a week and no benefit support because I was in shared housing. Just talk to them and go from there

I used to struggle to understand where all my money went, until I actually started monitoring it.. It all adds up!

Also your groceries etc type shopping is probably the place you're slipping up the most. Make a meal plan for the week (after researching some cheap healthy meals!) and do an online shop for those things alone. But budget products, even saving 20p on some smart price cheese, it really really adds up over time!