Kids "party" in the park gift etiquette

[Crunchymum]

Few kids from DC1 class invited to a party, parents mentioned date in passing, all good. Invitations say its at a local park, all good. I rsvp'd (was asked to).

What is the gift situation? Usually for parties I do a £10 token (book / cinema) but quite frankly this doesn't feel like a proper party to me? It's literally a few boys being invited to the park opposite the kids house to run around for a few hours and a cake?

Do you think a fiver in a card will be alright?

I think you're making this too complicated. The child has had a birthday which you've been invited to celebrate. So just give what you would usually give when invited to a child's birthday celebration. Yes, some adults don't like receiving gifts or making a fuss, but I've seldom met a child who didn't like unwrapping a present or if older, appreciate a bit of extra cash towards something they're saving for.

I kind of see the OP's point. My child was invited to a party in a park. I could understand why as it was due to covid however it was a bring your own picnic thing. They also asked people to bring outdoor games. The venue was also a decent drive away so not in walking distance of where the school is.

My child couldn't attend in the end but I probably would have just done a bag of sweets etc instead of the usual gift I give as it would have cost us in petrol and food to attend.

I’ve read your update and I still think you’re wrong.
this child has had a birthday, give a present like you normally would

I think a lot of people are missing th3 point (or misunderstanding me, or I've been unclear)
We’re not. We’re saying the type of party doesn’t matter: house, park, soft play, McDonald’s, funfair – all irrelevant. What’s relevant is the birthday, for which one traditionally gets a child a card and gift. And plenty of kids have their celebration a bit after their birthday, especially if it happens over the half term or holidays when none of their mates are around.

A fiver and sweets sounds fine, actually, but weird to give less than you usually would just because the celebration is taking place near some trees.

I recently attended a picnic in the park party. I still got the same gift I would've bought then had it been a softplay party or pool party or whatever. The location of the party is irrelevant to me, all that mattered was that it was my son's friend's birthday. Seems to be the general consensus of this thread too.

Them not then!

I think a lot of people are missing th3 point (or misunderstanding me, or I've been unclear)

I don't think they are.
Unless the parent has specified no gifts then I think posters are confused as to why you wouldn't treat it as any other child's birthday celebration.

DS3's friend was on holiday for his birthday, when he got back DS and a couple of friends were invited round for a couple of hours to play, they had a couple of slices of pizza and a choc ice. We got him a similar value gift as we did the previous year when they took DS and another friend to Alton Towers for a night.

This thread has made me not want to do a party in the park this year because I don't want to be seen as the one who can't afford a 'proper' one. I mean, I can't afford a venue, but I don't want the party to announce that fact!

Ive only ever done 5 and a bag of chocolate or something. So there's a parcel with the envelope stuck to it

Closer friend's get 10 that we know out of school

And fwiw people dont associate the venue with value of gift. We did dd a big venue party paid for food inc siblings.
Id never think oh because we paid xyz then dd should get an expensive gift.
One kid gave a card with some sweets inside the envelope wrapped literally maybe 6 chewits and an xmas paint set with dried up paint pots. Birthday is spring time so not a combine gift.
It doesn't matter. Dd loved it and we used other paints.

Others gave 5, 10,20, chocolate, pens, pencils. Dolls, princess. Coloring book. Kids make up. Etc

I had a party in the park for I think my 6th birthday party with some friends from school. I still remember it fondly and it was talked about for years at school as one of the best parties. So if you want to, do it

I like the idea of a party in the park - how do you do this so you can get a good number of kids along for a good time

I don't understand the confusion OP, your child received an invitation to a birthday party, therefore your child is going to celebrate the child's birthday. It's irrelevant how many days ago the child's birthday was, you received a birthday invite.

Even if the child's parent has downplayed it, it's still a birthday celebration that your child is attending. Obviously, it's up to you how much you pop in a card, any amount is acceptable. What, I personally would not do is judge the amount I put in a card based on the party/venue.

Maybe she's not got the numbers she wanted and is playing it down to try and get the numbers up so her child isn't sad.

Its his birthday party, I wouldn't downgrade his present because he wasn't able to have it on the day or due to the type of party, nor would I ask birthday mum or stress about it.

Seems a bit mean spirited to give a lesser gift because you perceive it to be a lesser party and just makes me feel sad for the child! The only thing that would make me adjust what I normally give would be a request from the family (ie no presents)

To really shock you OP I have bought a Birthday gift for DDs friends before when they weren’t even having a party !!!!!!!!,

I think £5 is perfectly fine - however I wouldn't treat this party as any different to a party where parents have spent £300 on soft play or whatever. It's still the child's birthday party.

Ditto.
I don't regard the present as an entry fee.

🤣

Like a children's party version of 4 In A Bed. Could be the next big show.

@deepcyan quick....send that idea to Channel 4 😂

This.

Goodness, presumably they don't have room at home or the spare cash to do an "experience" somewhere. They may well bring over a bunch of games to play and will do a bbq or bring a picnic. I expect they will have just as much fun as at any other party.

i think £5 in a card is perfect even if it was a big party.

I would definitely watch that!

This thread has made me not want to do a party in the park this year because I don't want to be seen as the one who can't afford a 'proper' one.

One of DD's friends (7 year old) said that DD's party was her favourite party ever.

Do it if that's what you've planned!

For me it involved a lot more effort on my part than if I'd thrown £200+ at a venue to deal with the party. To me that's actually the easy way out! (which I absolutely don't judge the parents for – DD has loved the softplay parties she has attended).