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Original poster

Kids "party" in the park gift etiquette

104 replies

Crunchymum · 08/06/2022 09:17

Few kids from DC1 class invited to a party, parents mentioned date in passing, all good. Invitations say its at a local park, all good. I rsvp'd (was asked to).

What is the gift situation? Usually for parties I do a £10 token (book / cinema) but quite frankly this doesn't feel like a proper party to me? It's literally a few boys being invited to the park opposite the kids house to run around for a few hours and a cake?

Do you think a fiver in a card will be alright?

OP posts:
mowglika · 08/06/2022 09:36

Why is it not a party? I did my ds 6th bday in a park and spent as much as if id done it at home or had a venue party for less kids.

Anyway what does it matter? The kid still deserves the same present you give everyone else no?

Doveyouknow · 08/06/2022 09:38

I am not sure why it being in a park makes it less of a party. We go to lots of parties in parks as few people here have large gardens (or gardens at all). I actually think they are more effort as you need to get all the stuff there and keep track of all the kids.

Clymene · 08/06/2022 09:39

Does the value of your gift depend on how much the parent has spent on the party? Really?!

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Favouritefruits · 08/06/2022 09:39

It’s still a party, I’d give what you normally do £10 in a card.

Barkingmadhouse · 08/06/2022 09:40

I think you are getting an unnecessarily hard time op. I also alter the present value based on the party. Whilst we have never been to a party in the park, i have given more expensive gifts for kids who have had parties at pay per child activity centres/farms etc versus a diy village hall party. I do think the gift shoulf reflect how much they have paid for your child to attend

Moosake · 08/06/2022 09:41

Barkingmadhouse · 08/06/2022 09:40

I think you are getting an unnecessarily hard time op. I also alter the present value based on the party. Whilst we have never been to a party in the park, i have given more expensive gifts for kids who have had parties at pay per child activity centres/farms etc versus a diy village hall party. I do think the gift shoulf reflect how much they have paid for your child to attend

Really?! This is a gift for the child not some kind of reimbursement for the cost of the party.

DotDotaDash · 08/06/2022 09:42

Is this a birthday party? If so you are not paying for the ‘value to you’ of the party/activity - would you give a bigger ‘gift’ for a better party - what about swimming or a climbing wall -? £12 🙈😂

Hoppinggreen · 08/06/2022 09:43

Barkingmadhouse · 08/06/2022 09:40

I think you are getting an unnecessarily hard time op. I also alter the present value based on the party. Whilst we have never been to a party in the park, i have given more expensive gifts for kids who have had parties at pay per child activity centres/farms etc versus a diy village hall party. I do think the gift shoulf reflect how much they have paid for your child to attend

No it shouldn’t.
There is no sliding scale, you give what you feel is appropriate and/or affordable. You don’t estimate the cost of the party and give accordingly.

Hallyup89 · 08/06/2022 09:45

Party or not, it's the kid's birthday so do exactly the same as you'd do for any other child of that age. I'm not sure cinema vouchers are a good idea though, because that's forcing the parents to spend more to take them to the cinema, which is incredibly expensive around here.

Book tokens or cash is fine, but I'd buy a gift, personally.

DrFoxtrot · 08/06/2022 09:45

It has never crossed my mind to alter the gift value according to the party experience my child will have Shock.

MissTrip82 · 08/06/2022 09:47

Barkingmadhouse · 08/06/2022 09:40

I think you are getting an unnecessarily hard time op. I also alter the present value based on the party. Whilst we have never been to a party in the park, i have given more expensive gifts for kids who have had parties at pay per child activity centres/farms etc versus a diy village hall party. I do think the gift shoulf reflect how much they have paid for your child to attend

You give children gifts based on the wealth of their parents?

How disgusting.

i don’t really understand how this is a “party” but the same thing in the child’s garden is a real party deserving of a proper present?

Mariposista · 08/06/2022 09:48

Parties in the park are the best parties - one of the upsides of having a summer birthday.

suzyscat · 08/06/2022 09:52

YABVU to adjust your budget because you think a park party is inferior somehow and for the use of inverted commas.

Present budget doesn't matter, give what you can afford. Decreasing the amount L because you don't deem an outdoor party worthy however, is mean spirited IMO.

Flamingoose · 08/06/2022 09:58

If you get organised with some pound coins you could wait until you pick your child up and ask how much fun they had. Get them to rate it with a score out of 10, and then give the same number of pounds to the birthday child.

Original poster
Crunchymum · 08/06/2022 10:28

Chill people. When I rsvp'd (to an invitation, which is obviously quite formal) the parent themselves said its very low key / just a run around the park and a cake [feed before we go but they'll have water though!] and made it sound very un-party like.

So I'm confused about it being an an actual party and wondering of normal gift etiquette should be followed?

OP posts:
addler · 08/06/2022 10:30

But you're not taking a gift for the party- you're taking a gift to celebrate the birthday child's birthday. Which is happening however low-key the party is. I would do your regular budget.

Sally872 · 08/06/2022 10:33

Give the usual present. If your circumstances have changed and you want to put £5 in card that is a very acceptable gift.

But shouldn't be based on the type of celebration. Dropping a fiver because it is in a park not hall is a bit mean.

Beaucoup · 08/06/2022 10:34

Barkingmadhouse · 08/06/2022 09:40

I think you are getting an unnecessarily hard time op. I also alter the present value based on the party. Whilst we have never been to a party in the park, i have given more expensive gifts for kids who have had parties at pay per child activity centres/farms etc versus a diy village hall party. I do think the gift shoulf reflect how much they have paid for your child to attend

Appalling. Such an insight into how some people's minds work.

AngelicaP · 08/06/2022 10:34

Crunchymum · 08/06/2022 10:28

Chill people. When I rsvp'd (to an invitation, which is obviously quite formal) the parent themselves said its very low key / just a run around the park and a cake [feed before we go but they'll have water though!] and made it sound very un-party like.

So I'm confused about it being an an actual party and wondering of normal gift etiquette should be followed?

Normal protocol? You're trying to justify giving a child a cheaper gift because you don't think the part is worth it. You can reword it in your head but that's what it's come down to.

Why would the style of party have an effect on the present for the child?

mizzo · 08/06/2022 10:35

addler · 08/06/2022 10:30

But you're not taking a gift for the party- you're taking a gift to celebrate the birthday child's birthday. Which is happening however low-key the party is. I would do your regular budget.

This! My DC give their friends birthday gifts regardless of whether they have a party or not. Where the party is doesn't come in to it.

INeedNewShoes · 08/06/2022 10:47

Wow - some of the responses on this thread!

So the fact that, as a single parent, I couldn't afford the £210 to take 12 kids to our local softplay or somewhere else whizzy means that my DD should receive lower value presents?

We had DD's party in a public space but I did make an effort with games. We only invited 5 DC plus their siblings and thankfully they all bought DD nice gifts, just like I did when DD attended their higher-value parties.

What a weird place this is sometimes.

Moosake · 08/06/2022 10:50

Crunchymum · 08/06/2022 10:28

Chill people. When I rsvp'd (to an invitation, which is obviously quite formal) the parent themselves said its very low key / just a run around the park and a cake [feed before we go but they'll have water though!] and made it sound very un-party like.

So I'm confused about it being an an actual party and wondering of normal gift etiquette should be followed?

Well yes, it's still the child's birthday celebration.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 08/06/2022 10:52

I would give what you normally give, wouldn't occur to me not to.

stuntbubbles · 08/06/2022 10:53

Barkingmadhouse · 08/06/2022 09:40

I think you are getting an unnecessarily hard time op. I also alter the present value based on the party. Whilst we have never been to a party in the park, i have given more expensive gifts for kids who have had parties at pay per child activity centres/farms etc versus a diy village hall party. I do think the gift shoulf reflect how much they have paid for your child to attend

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!

doofus101 · 08/06/2022 10:54

We had 'play in the park and cake' parties a few times, as well as the softplay/activity type parties. Though (obviously!) I didn't keep track, I think the kids received equivalent gifts no matter what the activity. I would have spent more on my kids' close friends (not least because my kids and I would often have ideas of stuff they'd really like), otherwise it was all pretty standard and not at all based on the 'quality' or nature of the party.

We had a couple of whole-class parties, both in the park and in a hall, and said on the invitations that there was no need to bring gifts, but most people did anyway.