Pamper parties..... for five year olds!!!

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Just received a party invite for DD via WhatsApp - for a pamper party. 🤢 AIBU to think this is a horrible concept generally, and particularly vile for five year old girls?! Must we indoctrinate them into this male-gaze, beauty standards bullshit before they're even out of infant school?
😭

Sounds horrendous - and sad.

That's ridiculous.

It depends what is involved I guess but I don’t like the idea. They where popular in Ds class a few years ago and some of the photos made me pleased I didn’t have a daughter being invited to these things!

Ewww

I'm in two minds about this.

My initial thought is yuck and I would not hold one for my daughter.

But, we are viewing them with adult sensibilities, my 6 year old loves having a glitter tattoo or some nail polish or putting lip gloss on - strictly indoor only. She isn't doing it to attract a man- she simply loves glitter and is having fun.

So for me depending on how the pamper party is led it can be a safe space for girls to just have fun and indulge in glitter and gloss.

weve been to a couple they were actually really good. Guided meditation, nice snacks, photos, singing, literally a bit of glitter make up and nails done. Nothing bad about it all

I think it depends what they'll be doing at the party. Choosing their favourite orgasm blusher and better than sex mascara, then of course that's not good.

Its horrible.
At this age they should be having real fun, not copying adult women!

Vile is a good description.

I get where you're coming from, but isn't pampering self care? It depends what's involved really. It could encompass a broad range of things.

This is how I feel too. Plus, many aspects of 'pampering' (a nice face mask, foot massage, nice smelling shampoo/ body lotion etc.) don't seem to me to be pampering to the male gaze - they are things that do feel nice to the wearer.

I suspect more boys would love the glitter and painting parts of their bodies if they were allowed to enjoy it.

Yeah...I guess there's a way for it to not be as terrible as I'm imagining. It just feels so sad. And like they're really being indoctrinated into caring about this stuff. DD likes glitter but her approach to makeup is literally painting a rainbow on her face - complete with a sunny sky background and some grass underneath/around the jaw. I want to preserve that for as long as possible!

I've already said yes, because I was a bit on auto pilot and still thinking about it as I responded - and I don't think I'd actually forbid her from going. But not sure exactly how to broach it - if at all. Don't want to piss on anyone's chips, but may just innocently enquire if there were any boys there and if/when it's a no say "that's weird, I wonder why?" and see where the conversation goes...

Yabu. Assuming this is what the child wants to do. Some children like to do this. Why would you deny a child something they want to do?

Don’t see the problem. My daughter has always loved having a face mask with me and painting nails etc.

Too young. It should be more of a tween thing.

And actually, saying this is 'vile' is misogynistic. This is something many females, and some males, enjoy doing. Why attach that it's negative?

My youngest dd loves this stuff. Always has. Nothing to do with me or society. Just what she enjoys doing. I've found it fascinating. Are you saying that her hobby of choice is 'vile'?

We have a kids spa near us and I like the idea. As long as the focus is more on relaxation and pampering, rather than looks. Mine love having a massage or face mask, or having their toenails painted. I'd find out more about it before deciding.

just for context, I look like a acarecrow most of the time & have no beauty treatments ever🤣I have a DD & I never focus anything on looks/image & encourage healthy & happy only - diet talk/music videos are banned in my house & I personally hate Botox/lip fillers etc in adults.

however, I love a kids pool/pamper party for children. My DD is going to 1 at weekend. Glitter, painted nails, different hairstyles, make-up & bit of disco dancing & fun in the pool! She won’t be wearing a pink frilly bikini though🤣

My dd, especially my youngest, would love it.
They had a gift of one to get hair braided, have a hot chocolate and glitter tattoo. How is any of it vile.

I think you're reaction is a bit OTT to be honest.
My 6 year old loves a bit of make-up, a face mask, having her nails done etc and she does it for fun, not because she wants to look beautiful for anyone.
I was actually going to a few pampery type things at her birthday party later in the year - shes going to have a 'pyjama party' sleepover without the sleeping over! Now worried that her friends parents will react like you and nobody will come!

Yabu. Assuming this is what the child wants to do. Some children like to do this. Why would you deny a child something they want to do?
You're entirely right. I'll start feeding them ice cream for breakfast too. That is also something they would like to do.

And it ISN'T misogynistic because there is NOTHING inherently female about it. That's the whole point.

Would it make you feel different if they called it a self-care party? I don't see what's misogynistic about a bit of pampering. I go for a facial every 6 weeks and it's my favourite treat.

For many children, it IS real fun to pretend to be like the grown ups!

I don’t see why something focused on looking after yourself i.e. pampering and relaxing is that negative tbh. I wouldn’t push ideas about male gaze beauty standards onto a bunch of 5YOs that enjoy having sparkly nails because they like glitter. If your DD would enjoy it then I would let her go, telling her you do pampering to make yourself feel good and not for anyone else’s approval.

Would it make you feel different if they called it a self-care party?

It's still stuff that's marketed at women, that men are spared (or denied, I guess, depending on your perspective).

I don’t see why something focused on looking after yourself i.e. pampering and relaxing is that negative tbh.
Because we only teach women to "look after themselves" this way.