Secret savings and divorce

[Blueberry6]

Hi all,

seems like my marriage is heading towards a divorce. I have some money saved in an account he does not know about. I saved it before marriage and kept it there for rainy days. I just read I have to declare everything. Will he get half of my savings? I can try and get bank statements to show I had it before marriage and not during. So technically nothing to do with him?

It would depend if her DH wanted to go after it. I could have gone after the money mine hid but I was too exhausted and it would have meant another court battle, so I walked away.

So possibly nothing. But possible lots.

@FloydPepper I think the more women that know about these tricks and can choose to put them in place if they want or at least be aware this happens, the better. My ex is a sneaky snake and had I known about these tricks I would 100% done it because I knew he was doing something as he is as tight as a badgers arse, but didn't know what until receiving bank statements as part of court this was what he was doing and the court didn't care, even though he was living somewhere for free and yet £2k a month was disappearing on 'expenses'.
Another trick used to hide money was to delay going to court until a new tax year/year before court so that all earnings and bank statements from a previous tax year/bank balance could be reduced just immediately prior with no explanation needed as you only have to show for the previous year. So no statements during mediation and none I don't think until actually after first court date.

@pattish who is going to fund chasing assets.not declared? The costs of a financial forensic investigator or the lawyers or barristers make it not worthwhile and the onus is on you proving it, but they don't have to help by providing information for you to prove it so with GDPR how you going to get hold of that info?

I financially separated before the divorce. We went to the bank and closed all joint accounts, I got a new account for my salary etc. There are special forms for it, we declared we were separated and going to divorce. He wanted to keep the credit cards, which was fine, but my name (and therefore liability for any subsequent debts) was removed.

Could you give it to a trusted family member or friend to 'look after'?

@BuddhaAtSea that's great, but we are talking about assets/accounts only accessible by one party and maybe extra income that is accrued from other sources than a salary and it can take years to get to financial court.

Marriage is a financial partnership and all your assets and debts are shared equally as a starting point. There are exceptions but this is the general rule.

Yeah yeah we know that’s the theory

but when you’re the RP, that pretty view is often pissed up the wall

we do what we need to do for the best for our children

You do realise that there are many ways of searching for bank / savings accounts don’t you?
www.mylostaccount.org.uk

If it were a level playing field then I'd totally endorse this, however women are at a distinct disadvantage both in marriage and generally so need to protect themselves financially.
OP should either withdraw her money in cash & 'rest it' in a trusted person's account or, if not an option, put it in a safe box for a monthly fee so she can access it whenever she wants.

This is literally a crime OP. Totally illegal. You have to declare all assets in a divorce. Apart from it being wrong, if it is discovered, the judge can punish you in court by awarding more to your husband. Please don't do this.

But it's interesting, right? OP hasn't actually told us anything about her circumstances - she could be the higher earner.... her marriage could be heading for the rocks because she has been unfaithful, she could be the abusive one, he could be the stay at home dad, they might be heading for 50-50 childcare..... in fact OP hasn't even confirmed she is a woman! This feels like a post perfectly planted to prove that Mumsnet's screaming bias stretches as far as championing totally anonymous people to commit crimes, as long as those crimes are against the man!

@BraveGoldie

No chance he can proof I have another account.

indicates the wife

plus fact op wants to use exclusively for child also Indicates RP, which is vast majority… mother

Yes "indicates" if we assume it is a heterosexual marriage. I didn't say she hasn't indicated, I said she hasn't confirmed.

I am not questioning that the OP is encouraging us to make assumptions based on our stereotypes and what is statistically most likely. I'm pointing out that we have no concrete information (not that even if it were stated it would be reliable on the internet!), and most people are jumping on the "let's screw the man" bandwagon, regardless.

Can you give it to someone else in your family you trust, then don't declare it? Yes I know you shouldn't do it as it's hiding assets, but provided he he not aware of it in any way and there is no paper trail) link to your bank) it won't come to light. People do this all the time, but of course you shouldn't. Even if you spend it and buy something it will still become part of the marriage pot and be split 50/50. I would do it.

It's highly likely he's done the same thing.

It is a chat forum
We base our responses on:

1. what information the op provides
2. in conjunction with our own experiences / views

So in the context of this thread

1. op refers to “he” so overwhelmingly likely a husband
2. op says money will be used for her child, indicating she will be RP, which again - overwhelmingly is the mother
3. this mumsnet, overwhelmingly female so our experiences are based on being a wife / ex wife / probably RP

which all means that many of us are saying - yes, sensible.

Did this not flag up on your bank statement you took it out though ?

Don't you need it for housing yourself and your child?

Tbh, if it came from before marriage and the poster is likely to bear the brunt of raising a joint child I’d be ok with either sex keeping it hidden.

He doesn't know about this bank account or money.

As long as you're happy for him to also hide assets, then by all means...

I think the majority of men spend their money mostly on themselves safe in the knowledge the child's Mum will go often go without things herself to get things for their child. I know not all men are like this but far too many are. My exh insisted on taking our SN child out of his independent school with small classes where he felt safe and secure so he could take OW on lots of holidays. I begged him to go halves with me even though I earned so much less than exh but he refused.

Just as an aside my divorce wrangled on for almost 18 months as there was house, business and children to resolve. My exh stood in court and asked if I'd included my (new) engagement ring fiance had bought me on my Form E. Luckily the judge said it did not need to be listed.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You had the money before you met him and you kept it as a safety net in case things went wrong. Things did go wrong and now you have your safety net.

Let's say you both bank with Nat West. Why would he even think to check whether you had an account with Barclays, if he'd never heard you mention them? Surely there isn't a way of checking every single bank in one fell swoop?