Unexpected and joyful things that happened after you were 34

[Whatsgoingonhere76]

My life feels a bit up in the air at the moment. I had a very short marriage in my late twenties - left him due to EA. He bought me out of our house. I have recently left my job as I was burnt out and I had enough savings to take 2-3 months off (lots of available jobs in my sector and I have great references and contacts)

So I'm 34. I have 25k in savings. Live in a shared house with no job, no relationship and no plan.

I'm really proud that I got myself out of an awful situation, and I have my health and great friends, do lots of volunteering, exercise etc but I feel like I have failed at life.

Any positive stories of things falling into place after 34 would be appreciated!

went Back and retrained in a new career. Met my now DH had two DCs and moved to our own house. It’s been a manic ten years but a world away from the future I could see at thirty four

I left an emotionally abusive relationship at 34. Moved to a new city. Bought a flat, met someone new and fell in love, started a new career, had a baby.

34 is young! Still all to play for. You have savings, career potential. An

Whoops, cut myself off:

And you escaped an awful man. Bloody well done.

Take this time to think about what you want and enjoy. Could that £25k be a deposit on a home? A couple of years of travel? Retraining to a dream job? When I left my relationship I wrote myself a little essay of what I wanted life to be in 5 years; it really helped.

Found out I was pregnant just after I turned 34... I'd been seeing the bloke for 4 weeks (oopsie emoticon). A year later I'd moved to my bf's city where I've been happy to live ever since, had ds, got married, started making a whole circle of friends. A few years after that I retrained and have now worked in my new job for a decade. This year I started earning more than the national average wage for the first time ever.

That leaves out a lot of very difficult stuff but I'm delighted with all those changes.

These are brilliant. Thank you. Just what I need to read this morning!
@stuntbubbles the idea of writing an essay about life in 5 years time is great. I'm going to do that this week.

Well I'm 34 and despite having an awful time at work recently (off for stress at the mo, back soon) I feel great - confident in myself, able to work out what to do, solid in my friendships and family relationships.

I'm also six weeks pregnant, total shock, with ex partner. We already coparent out 19 month old really well together, we are friends, and actually we're both very happy about it despite no plans to get back together.

At 34 - depressed, single, childless, living on disability benefits in a council flat. Age 36 met my now husband. Ten years later - married, expecting our fourth child, about to move to the place of my dreams with a good career. Life can change!

I went back to Uni and got my MBA, then started studying psychology and well-being. Got a new job in a slightly different area (same area, just different specialism). Never looked back. You have a great opportunity now to have a real think about where you are going in life - maybe take some time out to do that.

I resigned from a good safe job at 34 and went contracting. Travelled 6-8 weeks a year for a couple of years round contracts, one contract went perm, took my career in a different direction and earned more/more satisfying work. Just given up work at 56 as a result.
I didn't plan career, but let things happen and was lucky.

I got married to someone I'd met only 12 months earlier. I went on to have 3 lovely DC's. We bought a brilliant house. We're still happily married 19 years later.

At the risk of sounding like an old gimmer, 34 is really very young. You have so much of your life to live. Well done for extracting yourself from a bad situation. It sounds like your at a turning point in your life which can be hard, but also potentially very exciting.

Depends what you want out of life. At 35 I realised that I didn't want to settle down, get married and have kids. I had counselling to come to terms with that as there's so much societal pressure to follow a script. I left the relationship I was in and started forging my own path in life. Scary but totally liberating. Couldn't be happier with my choices now.

Late 30s I went travelling for 6 months, came back and retrained in a new career. After 6 years getting experience I moved abroad and now work in a beautiful with a rather nice tax free salary.

Bought a house, moved in DP, had a baby ( a bit unexpectedly), got married, got made redundant, moved abroad, got a better job, travelled loads. My life entirely changed after 35 - it wasn't awful before, but I hadn't foreseen how different it would be.

*work in a beautiful country with...

This is a lovely thread

Met dh, had the dc, moved house (and area).
Life completely changed in so many wonderful ways.

I was definitely one of those cliches - I had a really difficult and horrible experience at 33, and the repercussions of that lasted until I was 37/38. Finally met DH and had a baby at 40 (wish he’d sleep though!)

My life is much more settled and happy although harder work … hoping things will be easier when I’m part time at work and not doing as much!

These really are wonderful.
And a much needed antidote to my fog of self doubt at the moment. Thank you.

That was basically the turning point for me! At 33 I was skint, living in a house share and single since my last ltr ended when I was 29. We’d been together 7 years and I felt at the time like that was my chance at a family. Met DH (on Tinder of all places) and got promoted at work. Got married the following year, then welcomed DC1 9 months later (that part not planned but no regrets!). I’m now 41 and have 3 DC and a senior job. Can’t believe how much my life has changed in that time - in a good way!

@Aozora13 that's exactly how I feel atm - like I've lost my chance to have a family.

Thanks so much for sharing your story.

I was still in relatively low paying jobs at 38. Ok and enough to pay the bills but not exactly what I wanted, I had spent ages trying to get promoted to the next rung of the ladder in my line of work, and failing. I must have failed at least a dozen interviews in my 30s - I lost count in the end. Then after a break from applying I just thought, blow it, and I applied for a job in the sector but two grades above my current one. I was offered the job on my 39th birthday and it’s been great (if a challenge at times) ever since. Never give up!

Changed jobs and met my DH at 34.

Moved to a fantastic part of the country at 36. Met the loveliest friendliest people.

Had ds1 at 36, ds2 at 37

Started new business at 39, sold business at 48

I can really relate to how you feel though, it wasn’t great going to everyone’s bastard wedding with no plus one, watching those happy couples buying houses when I was getting texts from virtual strangers about whose turn it was to put the bins out etc. But I was able to use the freedom to invest in myself - I got really fit, went to lots of work-related events etc to help my career and got used to doing stuff by myself so not all bad.

34 was such a year of upheaval for me. First marriage to abusive, cheating first husband ended. I had no confidence and some MH issues afterwards but I managed to leave a profession that was driving me into the ground, exist on benefits for a couple of years and worked on looking after myself and DCs. And then, bit by bit, I laughed more, enjoyed my children, worked p/t in something unrelated to my previous career, then met DH. More than a decade later, I have another DC, a blended family and a totally different life. I couldn’t have predicted it but I wouldn’t change anything.
You have the potential for life to be so different, how exciting! Good luck

At 38 I went to university and did a degree followed by a post graduate qualification. Then met the love of my life aged 45.