Unexpected and joyful things that happened after you were 34

[Whatsgoingonhere76]

My life feels a bit up in the air at the moment. I had a very short marriage in my late twenties - left him due to EA. He bought me out of our house. I have recently left my job as I was burnt out and I had enough savings to take 2-3 months off (lots of available jobs in my sector and I have great references and contacts)

So I'm 34. I have 25k in savings. Live in a shared house with no job, no relationship and no plan.

I'm really proud that I got myself out of an awful situation, and I have my health and great friends, do lots of volunteering, exercise etc but I feel like I have failed at life.

Any positive stories of things falling into place after 34 would be appreciated!

@Aozora13 going to everyone’s bastard wedding with no plus one, watching those happy couples buying houses when I was getting texts from virtual strangers about whose turn it was to put the bins out etc. Ha this absolutely, yes!

I think you're right and I need to embrace the freedom rather than just seeing it as lacking things.

This is an amazing story. Thank you.

Got out of a very bad relationship, met my husband at 34, bought a house with him 2 years later and married same year and had a baby girl two years after that

Met, fell in love with and moved in with DP. That was 11 years ago. We have since had DD and bought a house. I always thought I would be single forever, and I had made my peace with that, so meeting him was a wonderfully unexpected bonus! 🥰

Found my "tribe" (cringe) of friends who I see regularly and do lots of fun and varying activities with.
Went on holiday with friends for the first time.
Got a dog!
Finally started feeling confident at work and like I have nailed the whole leadership thing.
Gave less of a shit about the pressure to look as perfect as possible.
Found a new absorbing hobby and got good at it!

I was in London at 34 in a very high pressured job. I was single and a bit miserable. By 38 I had met my DH had first DC. Mid 40s set up my own business. We then relocated.
My life has completely changed. 34 is young and you can still can do anything you want. Go for it!

Met the love of my life and got married.
Took redundancy, changed career and ended up better paid and more fulfilled.
Found a home I’m really happy in.

Your early 30s can be quite a difficult time, I think. There’s a lot of pressure to suddenly be successful and settled, and it feels like you can’t use “still young, plenty of time, not ready yet” as excuses any more. That’s obviously bullshit, but it does tend to be the time when all of your peers suddenly start settling down, and it can feel very much as though a clock is ticking and everyone is watching. But it is by no means the last chance you have to decide how you want to live.

Was a single parent. Trained as a teacher, met a new man and bought a house.

Needed this thread after another failed internal job interview thanks 😊

At 45, left a long unhappy marriage and being a SAHM. Did my post grad, have a high flying career and met the love of my life t 48

At 34, was still emerging from grief after DH died. No kids. Rotten neighbours. Fairly boring job.

Ten years later: adopted amazing child, finished masters, got much more interesting job, have visited some fantastic countries, about to buy lovely house.

You have time. You’re not behind anyone else, you’re where you’re meant to be on your journey. So if you want change, be brave and try

Love at first sight (I kid not, I'd never even spoken to him) at age 42! I thought I'd fallen properly in love before but nooooo!

Hit me like a tonne of bricks and still in love with him now years later. It was mutual luckily! I'm very happy.

After a lot of hand-wringing about whether I wanted a baby, I had a surprise pregnancy at 34 which made my mind up for me.

I had my son at 36 and he changed everything 💕

Hmm after 34...left extremely difficult marriage and became single parent.
Got my degree in subject have loved all my life.
Got to know myself alot better, how strong I am, how happy I can be, what I truly value etc.
Dealt with unexpected health issues.
Found meditation and re-evaluated what was important to me really rather than the generic list of things we are supposed to tick off.

Difference between then and now-
Used to avoid my own eyes in the mirror.
Now give myself a massive grin every time I see myself.

You have so many adventures to come, nothing is lost.

Aug - turned 34, had just moved to a new city after a break up, was struggling to afford a crappy one bed flat, hated my new colleagues
Nov - signed up to Bumble, went on the first date with my now husband (it was a whirlwind romance)
Jan - we put in an offer on our family home, then I found out I was pregnant
April - got married and moved into our home
Sept - we had our daughter

A few months before my 38 I couldn't be happier. My daughter is wonderful human being and my husband is the only person who has understood me and accepted me for who I am.

Got pregnant at 34 having been told 8years prior that I was unable to have kids - now have 2. Don't let age be a barrier.

Having our only DC 3 months short of my 42nd birthday 😁. He's been an absolute joy, now 20 and at university. Happy, healthy, sociable and following his passion 😁

Since I turned 35 (I know because it was 10 years ago) I met and married my husband, I started my PGCE and qualified as a primary school teacher and I had my DS at the grand old age of 44.

I remember sitting with my best friend lamenting that we were 34, single and poor!

Now 38 with a lovely partner, job I love and currently 6 months pregnant.

had a baby at 38
changed career - twice
set up my own business

I found my feet professionally (35) met my husband volunteering (36) and got married and had three children by 40.

Looking back I felt really low in my mid-30s. Life just never quite clicked in for me the way it did for siblings and friends. I am so appreciative of everything I have now and a lot of that was about relaxing and accepting that I didn't want to live in London or be a big success or famous novelist, I just wanted to be happy. And happy came along.

At 34 I finally left my abusive husband. With 2 kids and went and stayed with a friend. Got divorced. Moved about half an hour away, got a small cheap house. I earned about 25k

I have just turned 40. My career took off since I didn’t have to account my ex into my plans before I accept promotions and I now earn 6 figures. Met my lovely dp. Dd is now 18 and going to study law next year. Got 2 dogs. ds is 11 and going to high school and someone I am very proud of.

We are moving house this year. I am making choices for myself. I have time to exercise and can without being asked who I was doing it for. Dp has a hobby that takes up quite a bit of time so, I get loads of time with the kids just us 3.

In a few weeks the 3 of us are flying to Cyprus to stay with my Aunt. Dp will fly out at the end of the first week. And I am doing this with no dark cloud of exh assuming I have gone out to shag around and causing huge arguments before I go to try and stop me.

I have friends that I can see without drama. Have spare money and don’t have a partner that’s constantly creating more debt.

Life is good.

met lovely man, gotmarried, had daughter, published my first book set up a company. You have loads of time!

The birth of Dd2
23 years after Dd1
It was definitely unexpected 😀😀