I was the recipient of unwanted advice from a random man today.

[Pollydonia]

..and actually remembered to say " thanks Random Man !" He just looked confused but another woman near by burst out laughing.
It was in the gym, I was doing my own thing , he tried to tell me to do it " his" way .
Seriously though, I'm 49 so I'm less likely to be intimidated by shit like this. I've also emailed the gym as a heads up .

Expect a call from Tesco soon about an email they've received..😆

Strong cockney accent so I'm going with British.

Men in the gym don't approach random other men in the gym, lean on their equipment and give then unsolicited advice.

Women don't do it to men or women.

It's only ever Men to Women. That's why its a thing. It may be unconscious, it may also be so ingrained in us that other women don't get it.

But it is a thing. That needs to stop.

Oh FFS

Im sick of the man hating on here. Of course theres loads of arsehole men out there but theres loads of arsehole women too.

Good job op. Ignore the minimizers here. The gym clearly has this rule for a reason, women need to be sure that they can work out without being harassed by a strange man who finds some random excuse to get too close into their personal space, trying to force them into an unwanted conversation.

Exactly.

I am sure they won't be missing out.

I did worse than that years ago in H&M, buying ds school trousers. I noticed a young male assistant fixing the trousers and tidying the rail up so i asked him if they were ok for a 16 yr old, like trendy enough...then i asked if they washed well and if i could return them if they didn't fit....he said i don't know i don't work here...

No, men just get into arguments over time and the use of equipment. I know I used to work in a gym. Some users can get mightily pissed with equipment hoggers and those who don't tidy up after themselves.
In this case, the chap should not be giving out unsolicited training advice, it could be dangerous.

I started a thread because I wanted to.
I gave the info in the op that was relevant, I'm not changing the story because it isnt a story, it's what happened in more detail.
For all those who think that I was overreacting emailing the gym , Its their policy , please read the posts.
I dont hate men, I'm married to one and have given birth to one.

😂😂😂😂

Men do it to men all the time. It’s just human beings being social without a motive of sexually assaulting each other. Imagine living in a world where everyone is afraid to interact with others for fear of being labelled some nuisance or sex pest.

If you don’t appreciate the advice, just say so and move on.

What next, if a random man smiles at you, you’ll be emailing the local council?

There are a lot of men out there looking to harm women at any opportunity they get. If we see every man as a danger, then we will reduce our chances of discerning real danger.

Wow, this post sure has brought all the mysogynists to the yard..

God you sound the bigger dick ! Maybe he was just trying to be helpful ! Why did you have to be rude, why not just say thanks, but I have my program and then ignore him.

Most decent people thankfully understand that not wanting to be harassed by some strange man in a gym with no staff around to step on doesn’t mean you’re a man hater @Pollydonia I would say that’s it’s rather the opposite. It’s quite misogynistic to say that you should just accept it.

My word. I am not a gym user but this has made me very cross indeed on your behalf, @HopeIsNotAStrategy! Anybody stupid enough to try to finish my sudoku for me would be lucky to get out alive.

I’m taken aback at how many people think this man’s behaviour was ok. He had no knowledge of your ability level, your mobility issues, your medical history, whether what you were doing was part of a programme developed specifically for you by professionals who had all the relevant information, and yet he chose to disturb you, interrupt your workout and tell you what to do with no understanding that this was potentially unsafe and entirely unwanted.
Fair play to you for not engaging with him on the topic or appeasing him. Hopefully he has learned a lesson and won’t approach other strangers in such a manner again (though I doubt it. Reflection and learning don’t go hand in hand with this type of behaviour, sadly)

Step in not step on

It is interesting that different experiences of MN users gives them such a range of views. Maybe because I'm older I'm less likely to ignor or accept behaviour like this.

@Why2why Yup, humans are social creatures and I don't think anyone is saying it's not OK to have a polite conversation with a stranger.

This is about the way in which he did it, and the context (a gym is a space where women may actually feel a bit vulnerable as it is, working up a sweat and doing physical things with your body). He went over to her and leaned on the machine, whilst she was exercising. He told her she wasn't working hard enough (recommended she increased the weight).

This is actually pretty intimidating behaviour from a man towards a women.

If he'd genuinely just wanted to give friendly advice, he could have waited until she was off the machine for one thing, and then asked her if she wanted any help.

The way he did it was very forward and shows a real lack of self awareness in how that might make a lone woman feel.

He probably didn't mean it that way (consciously at least) and probably just has a complete lack of insight/ awareness of his own behaviour.

Raising that with the gym is still a good step because if he's doing it regularly they can have a word.

I’ve got legs that could kick start a jumbo jet… 120kg is a LOT!

this bloke is a right twat! All those who are trying to make out that this op is ridiculous really do need to give some thought to why this wouldn’t be something Random Man would say to anyone other than a lone female.

Random Men are a plague in gyms, to any woman who does anything with a weight. The second you touch a weight plate, Random Man appears, keen to critique the weight you're using, your technique, your stance, the expression on your face.

Men may fight over gym equipment, but they don't offer unsolicited critiques of other men's techniques, because they know fine and rightly it'll get them clocked in the face.

@MrsTerryPratchett

There's another scenario:

Random Man: something random

Woman, politely but with no interest: "thanks."

Woman turns away and gets on with what she was previously doing.

Man walks away.

Not everything is a big deal, and not every random man is a complete dick.

😅😅