I was the recipient of unwanted advice from a random man today.

[Pollydonia]

..and actually remembered to say " thanks Random Man !" He just looked confused but another woman near by burst out laughing.
It was in the gym, I was doing my own thing , he tried to tell me to do it " his" way .
Seriously though, I'm 49 so I'm less likely to be intimidated by shit like this. I've also emailed the gym as a heads up .

‘I seriously don't understand why you needed to email the gym? Heads up on what exactly?! 😂’

i knew this would be one of the early responses. Hilarious.

Umm Pure Gym is unmanned from about 10pm to 6am with CCTV and live contact if any issues whilst in the team gym. Then a quick Google brings up a few other 24/7 unmanned gyms that are monitored by CCTV and customer service so maybe don't make sarcastic comments on subjects tou know nothing about

‘The management will think you're nuts, "reporting" someone for speaking to you. I'm pretty sure they mean something entirely different by bothering other members.’

They don’t. They won’t think OP
is nuts.

He will not be approaching men and offering “advice”. Just women, who’s time and attention he feels entitled to. He needs to keep his head down and his opinions and hands to himself.

And I already know he didn’t touch OP but he would have done if she hadn’t seen him off.

Random Man sounds like a bellend and you absolutely did the right thing. The number of (I assume) women on this thread making excuses for the “poor guy” just “trying to be nice” is sad but unsurprising - women are still being conditioned to squash down their own valid feelings of discomfort/irritation/ fear/disgust/ whatever and give men the benefit of the doubt, expecting and looking for the best in them.

Clearly some people would have preferred the OP to simper thanks at the intrusive stranger for his unwanted, unsolicited and dangerous ‘advice’ (bullshit). People are obviously entitled to their own opinions, but my opinion is we do our DD’s a huge disservice if we bring them up in such a way as to continue this facile facilitating of men.

Also, this specific issue (unsolicited staring, "advice" and interference from men to women just trying to do their workout in peace) is well-known to be one of the things that intimidates women out of gyms in general and the weight area in particular, which sucks given how wonderfully beneficial weights are for many women.

👋👋👋👋

It was predictable that the MN Handmaiden Mafia would show up, as they show up on any thread relating to women standing up for themselves and their rights, to tell you off for not being kind.

I say kudos to you. Why should women be expected to smile sweetly in the face of random patrony by mansplaining strangers thinking we owe them our time and attention by right?

I had one of these in the Tower of London trying to give my child and me an impromptu - and unrequested - history lesson on a topic we already knew about.

It's really very easy. Leave us the hell alone.

Would he have done this to another man? Random Sexist Man.

I'll need to keep an ear out for women using the expression "random man"* And avoid them like the plague*

🤣 OK Random Man

Quite!

Thank you @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g.

Do you really think this is hilarious enough to merit a '🤣'?
Bless...

What a thankful, happy girl you seem to be!

It was the irony of ssd's comment which made me laugh Johnnysgirl

I'm pretty sure ssd isn't a man.

Random woman, then. Still applies

I'm pretty sure you two are the same bloke. FFS.
Oh report me 🙄

I'll need to keep an ear out for women using the expression "random man". And avoid them like the plague.

Yes, please do. That is entirely the point.

Bumped
That is all..carry on

Well maybe they'll stop sticking their noses into other peoples' business. It's outrageous that men think they get an opinion about what pregnant women should and shouldn't do, given it's not something they'll ever experience.

And many women don't want to go gyms because of intimidation by men, so the OP's gym's policy is very sensible. The OP is 49 so wasn't going to be intimidated, but a 29 year old might have been. Women do not need "advice" from men in gyms.

Exactly this.

@Why2why There are a lot of men out there looking to harm women at any opportunity they get. If we see every man as a danger, then we will reduce our chances of discerning real danger.

I do a lot of self defence work, and just wanted to point out that this is dangerous nonsense. Assuming everyone around you ISN'T a threat is what will get you into trouble, not the opposite.
Excusing away odd behaviour with "I'm sure he meant well" etc will overrule your gut feeling and slow your reactions.

Yes, there are men who are looking for an opportunity to harm women, but often what will give them that opportunity is your own socialised response to smile politely and not cause a fuss ('overreact') as they overstep more and more boundaries.

Well done, OP.

Leaning over you and offering unsolicited advice definitely comes within the definition of "bothering" other members.

I mean who, in their right might wanders up to someone to tell them how to do something they are already doing or tells them they need to do it they way you do? Extremely arrogant person that’s for sure. The op clearly didn’t like it and didn’t want his advice and felt he invaded her space. Some men need to lean boundaries, that women don’t need their help or advice unless they ask for it. Doesn’t make us man haters,

I've used the gym for a number of years and got sick of these kinds of approaches from men. Not only would they give their unsolicited advice - lift less, usually - they would follow me around and watch me, try to chat me up whilst I was sprinting as fast as I could on the treadmill or doing sit-ups, interrupt me whilst I was lifting heavy (which is dangerous) and when I actually let them show me something, rub their dick on me as I was lifting. They'd also assume that they had rights to use all the equipment before any woman, and would look pissed off if you were using something they wanted to use, or asked to share, and then start giving their advice. I've also had men using the female toilets to fill their water bottles up from the taps, one man who had been following me around standing over me while I was washing my face and then blocking my way as I tried to get out. When I emailed the gym to complain, I got no response. I don't go to the gym any more mainly because I cannot stand the dickish behaviour of the men in there, so don't listen to anyone else who's standing up for these pricks, this kind of thing need to be called out so that women can have equal use of a space that they are paying equal money to use without being intimidated and pestered.

Random men coming up to you in the gym are bloody annoying

Fuck off will you, I've paid a PT to give me advice. I don't need it free from some random men

Reminded me of this video and men pressuring women to move off equipment in mixed gyms: www.instagram.com/tv/CbNwJuLJsNW/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=