What improved your quality of life, so much, you wish you did it sooner?

[piddocktrumperiness]

For me it's a few things:
-Learning what past trauma is and how it plays out in relationships
-Learn to say no to things and people and not feel bad about it
-Realising no one really notices or cares what I do or look like; felt liberated to not always wear lots of makeup, dress in a new outfit or have my roots done, or eat out alone, or do anything alone.
-Not watching much current tv and picking up a book instead
-Listening to James O' Brien on LBC ( I know he's not everyone's cup of tea- but I learned alot)
-Waking up v early to have some me time. This was hard as I was a night owl for many years.
-Declutter and only buy when I need something. To be honest this started as I had to downsize to an empty flat after my divorce and am on not much money but it has helped with not worrying about possessions and all the cleaning involved.
-Divorce my ex husband- biggest impact haha

What improved yours?

Retiring.

I was a teacher, and when I had to quit for medical reasons, it was the best day of my life.

Discovering orgasms. Post menopausal and with my first vibrator. Why did it take me so long?

Growing veg and flowers
Mindfulness and meditation saved me life.
Following haes online
Clearing my Instagram and finding actual body positive curvy girls rocking it.as my Instagram was becoming a toxic disordered place.
Learning about trauma.
Reading.
Dogs
Learning about mental illness
Microwaving tea!

Learning not to go with my first reaction. My first reaction to important things is not always correct, so I have learnt to say nothing and bide my time.

secondly, I would say that taking up and running has change my quality of life. Sounds bizarre but it totally has! I was a big fat non-runner before I started, I know it sounds weird but I have half an hour to an hour by myself, to think things out, relax, I have found beneficial to pretty much all aspects of my life!

Moved house now live semi rurally. Absolutely love it.

Started to actually use my dishwater. Prevented so many arguments

French online lessons using online forum Italki. My tutor lives in the Columbia.

Rediscovering my faith

Started a form of exercise which involves punching a freestanding boxing bag to loud jungle music. Love it. I actually look forward to exercising

Like others, removed myself from toxic , negative people.

I take myself on ‘dates’ . This week I am taking myself on a date to a posh tea room

Started to say no to things.

Work from home- definitely improved the quality of my life. I used to have a two hour commute.

Stopped watching the news- it had an adverse effect on my mental health

Wake up very early most mornings and just sit and relax for about an hour. Bliss

Walk most days

Leaving teaching/education and training in something new and going part time. May regret it in the future but what use is a teacher's pension if you're broken.

Limiting social media greatly. I'm a constant scroller and comparer. I still have the icons but I'm logged out and you wouldn't believe the amount of times I mindlessly click on them.

Giving up meat. Still working on cutting down on alcohol.

Accepting that my children don't need me as much and they're their own people.

Becoming a better-informed feminist.

Becoming vegan.

Realising "no" is a complete sentence.

Taking up running.

Acquiring houseplants.

Getting a robot hoover.

Ditching body hair removal.

Using bar soap instead of liquid.

Researching curly haircare and giving up shampoo.

Trimming my own hair at home.

Buying clothes second-hand that spark joy.

Keeping a journal since childhood.

Relearning how to ride a bike as an adult.

Buying a pack of reusable sanitary pads.

Downloading the Libby app, Strava and Cronometer.

Moving in with my OH.

My animals... a grouchy tomcat and two lovely spaniels. Oh... and an outside shower for the dogs and muddy boots.

Quitting smoking.

i smoked since I was 15 and finally quit 2 years ago at 36. The day I got a positive pregnancy test result was the day I stubbed out my last cigarette and I’ve not had even a little puff of one since.

i wish I’d done it years ago but I did try and fail a few times. I think being pregnant was the incentive that I needed.

So many!!!

Giving up drinking.
Realising how unimportant I am in the grand scheme of things.
Headspace the app and daily meditation.
Leaving my "career" of one gruelling job after another.
Doing further study.
Going freelance.
Giving up on trying to get my teenagers to pitch in with housework. Accepting they are terminally lazy.
Giving my teenagers a weekly allowance so our relationship isn't soured by constant wheeling for money.
Stop caring what the other family members eat.

My life right now is the best it's been in a long time because I have been forced to let go and stop trying to "help" others - help which they have resented.

Placemarking for ideas

Superthread!

Vitiman C, Retin A, led light mask and a foreo bear.

Yoga.

Getting up very early every Saturday and walking miles, I meet DH at 9 for breakfast, he drives.

Learning to care less about what other people think of you.

Learning to care more about things that really matter.

Feminism, frustrating but feel like I'm fighting the good fight.

Stoicism.

Spending as much time outside in nature as possible.

Learning how to breath and using breath.

Cold shower each morning.

Delighting in the small things, it truly is a beautiful world.

Cats.

Ditching social media. Instagram, Facebook etc etc

Running away to the seaside. Best decision ever.

...and Pokemon Go, bloody luffs it

getting up early - 6am before 4 kids get up
having a large glass of water with berocca first thing
kassandra 10 min morning yoga on YouTube
walking the dog and listening to Mel robbins motivational podcasts
early morning swims once a week - in week 3…. So fingers crossed

Actually very few mosquitos as there is very little standing water, and its size means the costal effect keeps the summers from being too hot, Temperatures rarely hit 30c. There is a dryer, warmer side and I live on the northern more humid side, my hair frizzes when it gets humid but I'm told by the locals the humidity's good for your skin. Certainly don't have dry skin anymore..
This is my village

Having my DC they make me laugh so much and are pure joy
getting a cat (got her at 22 so really couldn’t have done much earlier with uni)
wfh
Strength training

Daily yoga since 28 March 2020. Ditto cycling.

restarting spin classes twice a week, since.Aug 2021, and shedding my lockdown Podge

Ridding myself of feeling guilty. I don't feel bad about anything anymore, I'm like everyone else, doing my best.

Being in a job that I know benefits society and earns me a living.

volunteering for a fantastic charity where I give back for free and love every minute of it.

Building Team-Me, people who have my back and I have theirs. Shedding anyone who isn't Team-Me, good riddance! Harsh but liberating.

prioritising debt - I'm going to pay off my car PCP a few months early which will give us £350:per month so we don't have to worry so much about energy - we'll still cut back energy waste wherever possible though.

Best answer 😊

Giving up my full time city job to become a childminder so I could look after my own child - and realising I wanted to stay working with children. It’s been transformative.
Getting a dishwasher!
Like other pp, getting up before the rest of the world does and sitting outside- the air is so fresh, it’s magical

Cutting sugar from my diet. It's been so much easier than I thought and I have more energy rather than being constantly tired, have lost weight naturally and just feel healthier generally.

I should have included that in my earlier reply. I have close friends and a church family I’d never have known about, as well as doing things that have stretched and challenged me

Do it! I was born and brought up in Norfolk but moved to London in my twenties for a good decade before moving back to Norfolk to bring up my kids. I love London but you can't beat Norfolk for a place to raise kids. We live at the beach in the summer, kids can be kids much longer here than in London. We also loved the fact that people here are so much less judgemental with regards to money and status than in London and the South East.

I grew up and attended school in the areas you mention. My friends and I have all done very well for ourselves but in fact than my husband and his friends who went to private school. I am sure there are better schools with much greater facilities and opportunities but we did just fine at these schools.

You WILL need a car. Cromer is probably your best bet just vexause it will be less of a culture shock I think than moving to one of the villages. Sheringham also lovely but cromer is my fave. Aylsham is lovely and the school is very good but personally I love living by the sea so that will always win out for me. I have nephews who recently attended cromer academy and they are all at top unis - one went to Oxford. Definitely go for it! There will be challenges. But I don't regret moving back at all.
I remember my own childhood and teenage years with such joy here.

HRT
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