Why so many ND now?

[Jumpking]

Had much with 4 friends yesterday. All the ladies told me they're waiting for ASD assessments for their children.

I know so many parents of ND kids.

I don't think I'm unique.

There was around 5 or 6 ND children in my primary school growing up. Now this is per class, minimum. The children weren't in special schools, they just didn't exist in such high numbers.

What do you think has been the sea change in our society that means there are now far more ND children than there were 30 years ago?

(And it isn't because they weren't diagnosed 30 years ago, or we weren't aware... There really weren't children in my school, or the school's of friends I've discussed this with, who had sensory issues, or clothing issues, or only beige and/or dry food, or toileting issues, or obsessive interests issues or all the other ND things which are so prevalent with children today)

@Prettypussy Neurodiverse is a whole heap of things that are different from each other - so tourrettes, ocs, adhd, dyslexia, dyspraxua. Some definitions include fetal alcohol and epilepsy and mental health conditions too. So its easy to get to over half that way.
Its just autism and the spectrum dominate.

Just picking up on this, some parents do pay privately and might be in the demographic where theyre not great parents but want something to justify the behavioural outcome for their child.

Also many children within care proceedings end up having a private assessment because the courts put pressure on local authorities to source a private assessment as part of care planning because the waiting lists are so long. So by default that occurs

And some children are on the spectrum but their behaviour has been hugely exacerbated by poor parenting and they have a double disadvantage.

@gastrogaliant

I know what you mean. My dd is of above average intelligence and talks (now, took until nearly 5) so is semi independent but we are looking into supported living for the long term as she has support needs for food and panics alone, Dp's dd has multiple health issues but also autistic and has 24/7 care as an adult

I don't think the OP intended to offend at all. This has been an interesting discussion, and I feel that I have learned a lot from it. So, thank you @Jumpking for starting this thread.

For those posters saying why bother getting assessed when you’re older etc what difference is it going to make? I think it would make a huge difference to someone’s life. I am convinced my DH has ASD. Our marriage was nothing short of the worst 10 years of my life. We are separated now but still live together. I honestly came out of that marriage as a shell of my former self and it’s taken me over 4 years to find my former self. This is no one’s fault. If we had figured out at the time that perhaps he had ASD and sought a diagnosis we could have worked together to make our marriage work and I would have learned that he sees the world differently to me rather than me feeling lost at sea for over a decade.

We are now waiting on an ASD assessment for our DS12 who has recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia. Perhaps through my sons assessment my DH might do the same but I doubt it.

In terms of my DS I had a chat with him the other day about it after many sleepless nights and upset over telling him. I should not have worried as he was only delighted to think that this might explain why he thinks the way he does, why he thinks differently to his friends, why he is obsessed with Star Wars, why no amount of bribing will make him eat anything other than his very limited diet, why he only wears certain fabrics, colours etc I feel like it was a revelation to him that there may be other children like him and that it’s actually okay to be the way he is. I wish my DH had been given the same when he was younger.

@NiceTwin

So you may have gained peace, my dd most certainly hasn't.

Also I just want to clarify when I say I have gained peace I don't mean my life is a garden of roses. I'm still autistic and I still struggle to get though the day. Things are still hard. I'm still not looking after my physical medical issues because I can't pick up the phone to do the stupid GP triage. I'm still out of work because I had a breakdown a while back. I'm still too anxious to go to the supermarket alone. I still panic when someone speaks to me without warning. I still have non verbal moments if something goes wrong when I'm out. I'm still not able to communicate my needs very well. The peace it has given me is that i now know why. That's invaluable.

Looking back, I realise many of my friends at school in the early nineties were ND. We actually were aware of it at the time, just didn’t label it. Two of them got expelled(unlikely to happen now) and two others had counselling to help them deal with school (possibly better than a lot of support available now).

Firstly, I think because you are confusing needs with preferences.

if you’re brain is wired in such a way that it cannot, say, filter out distractions effectively, then allowing quieter working environments is only reasonable. If you just like having your own office, it is. In an ideal world everyone who wants an office should have one, but there’s a limited supply. So if you need one, how do you get it? You prove to your NT team that you need it by getting a diagnosis.

Just the same as if you are in a wheelchair, you cannot climb stairs and are not just preferring to sit down.

Secondly, ND people are largely not medicalising themselves, though. What they are saying is that they can’t be their best selves or do their best (or in some cases even adequate) work in an NT society designed to work for and by NT people, because they are not NT. So the only way to be accepted by NT people and to have your practices allowed at all is to be officially labelled as ND. Ie medicalised. It’s NT people not accepting and allowing diversity without a label that forces the medicalisation. You need a label for NT people to accept that you aren’t just trying it on because you like it that way. And that’s driven increased diagnosis and medicalisation, and legislation which has forced people to accept it and made it unpopular to expires the opinion that ND people are not just snowflakes. It’s NT people doing the medicalising. If you and your friends were all so accepting as you say, it wouldn’t be necessary, but ND have to prove they are ND in order for NT people to allow them to have accommodations.

@motogirl why would you not pursue a diagnosis for those in mainstream?

You don't know how the condition is going to impact them in the future.
My dd is doing GCSE'S, every morning has meant a meltdown outside school. Without her diagnosis, I wouldn't have had any access to the SEN department.
The first day, I had to leave her as she was getting aggressive and violent towards me. If I hadn't have rung the Senco, she would never have made her way in on her own.
Although the school have overall been pretty crap, the two Sen women have been great.

One other point as I see a few discussing private diagnosis. When people are paying a private clinic they are not paying for a diagnosis, they are paying for an assessment. If the child is not autistic they will still not meet the criteria for the diagnosis.

Bad parenting also does not mimic autism. The clinicians have a bit more understanding and look for very specific things which are not present (or lacking) in a NT child, regardless of their parenting.

Yes I agree with this. I highly suspect my OH has ASD and ADHD, Ive done the screeners from work on him and he scores highly

Im just in the process of seeing where we can get an assessment from, no point going to the GP, but locally private assessments are not taking new referrals until November!

Ive sat through a huge number of assessments, with the child on their own, with birth parents if appropriate and also with foster carers.

I can tell you that there are assessors who have no clue about attachment disorder and simply pay no attention to a child's lived experience and the impact of that on their brain development

Thats not in every case but you seem very invested in denying this is something that occurs at all

@hellrabbitishere

Can you RTFT - a lot of good insight from various ND posters? Might bribe you some idea of how it's not a 'trend'

For me, it's been great. If anything bothers me, I announce 'No! I'm autistic, I can't do that!'

I knew for years and had to traipse through vast amounts of therapy to get a referral.

As for strategies, no, I'm still alone. The social services assessment I'm entitled to still hasn't happened. The assessment body, LANC, offer a 'life coach'. Two sessions in I'd had it with her, because 'write a timetable, put your phone down two hours before bed and go to bed at ten o'clock' is the advice I gave my KS4 pupils 20 years ago and if that's all a life coach has to offer, don't waste my time. I can write a beautiful timetable but unfortunately, due to being autistic (diagnosed) and adhd (self-diagnosed), nothing on earth can make me stick to it.

i don't like the term 'disorder' and I don't like the way every social issue is put down to autism. Husband won't make the bed? Autistic. Serial killer? Autistic. Sex fiend? Autistic. No. We aren't responsible for all society's ills. Try 'scientist?' Autistic. Heart-surgeon? Autistic. IT leader? Autistic. Musician? Autistic. Artist? Autistic.

I think my father may be on the spectrum. When my sister was studying psychology at university, when she did her autism module everything odd about his behaviour and habits suddenly all fell into place.

When I was a child, on the one hand it was certainly very under-diagnosed; on the other, I didn’t know anyone, wasn’t at school with anyone, that displayed any typical spectrum behaviours. (Other than my father).

DH is undoubtedly dyslexic. Undoubtedly. He has learned some coping mechanisms, but I massively compensate for the bits of life he struggles to manage (general life admin, time management, working memory is terrible), and now our DC have been diagnosed. I cried with relief. Now they can learn to build their lives in a way that allows them to flourish rather than struggling in an NT world. 30 years ago, neither of them would have been diagnosed as they are well behaved children who are slightly above average academically in comparison to their peers.

Knowledge is power - when we know better, we can do better.

@bellac11

No I'm not invested I just made 2 comments? That's it though I shall leave that well alone. I'm not a professional, just someone trying to ensure people don't minimise the ASD diagnosis I have. I understand that some cases may be diagnosed but I still prefer to say, particularly in threads like this where there is so much ignorance, that generally it doesn't happen.

Personally I think trying to split people into very clear NT/ND categories is unhelpful

I think the modern world is not set for humans of any kind, its toxic and unhealthy (I mean UK society and systems) and its damaging a whole number of us.

@Prettypussy Y'know how I'm autistic? I think in pictures. Every time I see your username, I don't see a kitten. Thanks for the giggle!

Just because you can’t remember doesn’t mean those kids weren’t there!

I’m reading a tone in your OP that doesn’t sit so well with me - are you questioning the validity of diagnoses today? Or (maybe and) are you seeking to understand neurodivergence better? The truth is that causes of eg autism are not particularly well established and subject to ongoing research, so I’m not sure you’ll get the answer you’re looking for.

A pp suggested that in previous times there was a more benign educational and cultural environment. I'm in my 60's and I disagree with this.

My recollection is that the rules at home and at school and in society were stricter. Certain behaviours would not be tolerated by teachers (there was corporal punishment) or grandparents (my friend's grandmother shut her in the dark cupboard under the stairs if she missbehaved) , or the man/woman in the street (neighbours took it upon themselves to punish a child who was being 'naughty'). Children were taught / forced to sit still, got into trouble for fidgeting, were not permitted to answer back.

I think that those who had any ability to mask, did this. Sometimes to an extreme degree. There are many in my generation who look like they confirm to social expectations but who are very damaged by the impact of masking their natural emotional overwhelm.

Having taught teens for 20+ years it became really obvious that a few things were changing and that we are still in that flux.

Society has changed. Kids get given a lot more autonomy of thought, if not actions

Parenting has changed, is more transactional these days. Again kids have more autonomy, choice.

Science has made leaps and bounds, Ed Psych should have but is failing to keep up with increased demand.

A combination of the above allows all sorts of errors, from late or no diagnosis for those in need to mislabelling of those with poor behaviour caused by nurture rather than nature.

Add to that the constantly changing shit show that is educational expectations, governmental interference, ridiculous goals (like the famous all kids should attain above average results) and the fact that new teachers are now also a product if the changing times - few old lags remain.

Think of it in context, social media, instant gratification, cult of the individual, downplaying the importance of actual skills and the constant demand for both attention and respect.

It is really hard for anyone to find themselves in amongst all of that. And with all the requirements not to blame, to find fault, the increased desire to explain any aberration as a medical need, it is inevitable that the diagnosis of ND has increased, even if sometimes for the wrong reasons, missing those who have most need.

God only knows how bad it will get. As the one thing that is missing is the idea of personal resilience. Not as the only thing but as a needful thing. Too much handwringing and finding ways to 'do for' instead of the longer route of each child finding their own coping mechanisms.

And yes, I was involved in SENCO, taught a lot of the brightest for many years and ended my teaching career teaching the kids who had failed GCSE maths and English multiple times. Their lack of self confidence was horrific and the stories they told of the attitude of their school towards their repeated failure more so.

Those kids, the big and burly physically confident sport players who openly cried in class when asked to do basic math, killed off my teaching career. I joked about it at the time but I really did spend my days torturing already scared kids.

Sorry. That went off on its own a bit. Bottom line is that this is what we as a society have grown. A few generations of people for whom rights are not necessarily couple with responsibilities, for whom an external excuse is always acceptable. The system has really let them all down, ND or not. We should be able to do better.

@venusandmars yes! The reaction against that inflexible attitude, those behaviours, has meant the social pendulum has swung a bit too far in the other direction (uber simplistic, I know). We need to find a more sensible middle ground.

Fully agree, I feel quite strongly about differing diagnoses and am glad of the recent push for it.