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Should I go back to 5 days?

55 replies

Parttimeglover · 20/05/2022 14:26

Firstly, I’m enormously privileged to be asking this question and it’s definitely a FWP.

My DS is 13 months. I came back from maternity leave when he was 8 months (just before Christmas) because my maternity cover had gone tits up and basically, if I didn’t come back and steady the ship I wouldn’t have had a department to come back to.

Anyway, I negotiated to come back on 4 days and for my full time wage to go from £44k to £60k, so that on 4 days I would be earning £4K more than I was on 5 days. I also negotiated to work 2 days from home and 2 from the office. I was in a strong negotiating position, they needed me more than I needed them and so I got what I wanted.

Anyway, my role since I came back has expanded and I’m finding im working very late most evenings. I’m doing 40 hour weeks on a 28 hour contract. no overtime payments obviously. I’m managing this by working after DS has gone to bed mostly and I’m knackered! The business has approached me and asked how I’d feel about going back to 5 days given I’m doing over 5 days hours anyway, but I would be working every day not compressed hours.

Im very conflicted. I LOVE my time with DS, however cost of living is creeping up and we’re starting to really feel the pressure now. We are getting by on my £48k plus the money DH earns from a bar job he does 12 hours a week (more for mental health/ none baby time than money) but it’s getting tight.

DH is a stay at home parent but has offered to get more hours. The problem is his earning potential isn’t great, so the cost of childcare would swallow his wage (hence why he stays at home) so if we want more money, realistically me going to 5 days is our best bet.

For reference we can afford the day to day, we are not freezing or starving but we’re being careful with treats and extras and were currently not saving anything.

DS will be our only baby for reasons I’d rather not go into.

I just feel like if it was the other way around and I was the SAHP and DH was working then it wouldn’t even be a question. It’s because I’m a mum that I’m feeling so guilty about the prospect of going back full time and sacrificing time with DS Sad

WWYD? Would you go back to 5 days and give up time with DC in order to relieve the financial strain a bit? Or would you stay on 4 days as long as possible and just be a bit skint for a bit?

OP posts:
MissSmiley · 20/05/2022 14:31

If you're doing the hours anyway why wouldn't you want full time pay to compensate you? It's a no brainer

LBOCS2 · 20/05/2022 14:34

Will they not allow compressed hours?

Tbh if I was doing full time hours I would want full time pay but I'd be trying to negotiate it so it was longer days, or perhaps four slightly longer days and a half day on a Friday?

Knittingchamp · 20/05/2022 14:39

They're a bit bloody cheeky giving you a raise then requiring so much unpaid overtime. That doesn't end up a raise at all, right? Then they are basically now asking you to just go full time again? Cheeky buggers. All in office again?

I think tbh they're taking the piss and just agreed to your terms knowing they weren't going to honour them for long (sorry if that's cynical, I'm not in the situation so could be being unfair!). But in that context I'd do whatever is easiest for you, and whatever leads to the most pay on the least hours.

Direwolfwrangler · 20/05/2022 14:50

I would do it, there is no point working all those extra hours and not getting paid for them. Better for pensions etc.

Ariela · 20/05/2022 15:36

I would simply make a list of all the 'extra' tasks you're now doing - and the time that takes to do. And point out you're working more hours for less pay than when you were full time, therefore they need to pay you for 4 extended days ie 5 days hours-wise over 4 days. Or they need to take on some part time to do the extra work, because it's simply not fair.

Mariposista · 20/05/2022 16:01

No brainer. Do it

LilacPoppy · 20/05/2022 16:05

Are you in a lot of debt ? Because £48k plus approx £600 a month from dh, and no childcare isn’t a just getting by income.

Crunchymum · 20/05/2022 16:34

Where did the 60k figure come from?

Thursday37 · 20/05/2022 16:39

How much better off are you net on full time? I ask as I’m same sort of bracket and actually with the loss of child benefit and additional tax the net pay on full
time wasn’t worth it IYSWIM.

But I wouldn’t be doing the additional hours for free. I don’t do anything extra outside of my 4 days set hours. I’m fairly senior but I was really strict about setting that boundary when I went back. Rein that back in and stop doing it.

houseofboy · 20/05/2022 16:58

I would probably stick at 4 days. I understand you are doing loads of hours but if you g up to 5 days would you be expected to do even more?

Your child will be little once and if you aren't having anymore then will you regret not spending the time with him? Of you were desperate for the money would be different

Iwonder08 · 20/05/2022 17:17

When I returned back from my maternity leave my company made me do a mandatory 'return to work' training run by an external company. The lady who ran the training course was very vocal about returning on 4 days a week... In essence the message was to never do it as you will inevitably end up working condensed full hours but with the reduced pay. Based on what I have heard from other people it is definitely true.

Direwolfwrangler · 20/05/2022 17:29

@Iwonder08 I know several people who went back 4 days and had exactly the same experience.

rookiemere · 20/05/2022 17:53

Question is, if you go back to 5 days a week, will they expect even more ?
Is it possible for you to delegate more and do shorter hours ?

autienotnaughty · 20/05/2022 18:46

Yours doing the hours anyway you might as well be paid. I would negotiate 40 hours over 41/2 days so you finish early on say Friday and can spend afternoon with ds.

anewername · 20/05/2022 22:07

Tipping over the 50k will mean no or having to do tax return each year for your child benefit so take that into account too.

anewername · 20/05/2022 22:08

What about a 9 day fortnight ?

RandomMess · 20/05/2022 22:09

9 day fortnight is a good idea.

Parttimeglover · 20/05/2022 22:30

I already tip over this because of Christmas bonus and Christmas overtime (we get paid double for working between Christmas and new year and I have to because of my role, it’s about an additional £2k. Then I get a Christmas bonus which is discretionary but I’ve never not got it. That’s about £2k as well). Because of that I already don’t claim CB.

Thanks all I’ve got plenty to think about.

OP posts:
Parttimeglover · 20/05/2022 22:31

LBOCS2 · 20/05/2022 14:34

Will they not allow compressed hours?

Tbh if I was doing full time hours I would want full time pay but I'd be trying to negotiate it so it was longer days, or perhaps four slightly longer days and a half day on a Friday?

No I asked this already. Because it’s 3 days from home they’re unwilling to allow compressed hours.

OP posts:
Parttimeglover · 20/05/2022 22:32

Crunchymum · 20/05/2022 16:34

Where did the 60k figure come from?

That’s the wage I’d get if I was on 5 days. On 4 days it’s £48k.

OP posts:
Parttimeglover · 20/05/2022 22:45

LilacPoppy · 20/05/2022 16:05

Are you in a lot of debt ? Because £48k plus approx £600 a month from dh, and no childcare isn’t a just getting by income.

Nope no unusual debt at all. £160k mortgage and usual student debt. I own my battered old car outright.

DH’s take home is around £430ish a month but that’s his to keep. He’s home with DS and often uses that money for little days out etc. He also has a few hobbies he pays for which is really important DH attends - he needs time to himself to stay sane as a SAHP.

Im not sure what to say to your comment 2bh - I said very clearly I’m in a position of privilege and not complaining. I’m not claiming to be starving here, just that we’re having to be quite careful like everyone else is which is why money is a consideration here.

Not sure if you meant to sound like a judgemental shrew or if you’re just a poor communicator?

OP posts:
TulipsGarden · 20/05/2022 22:52

I do compressed hours - 4.5 days over 4. I didn't intend to, but not long after I went back they made a list of redundancies and I had so much work I was doing (at least) those hours anyway, so I asked to be paid for them.

I don't understand why you can't compress hours if you're wfh?

converseandjeans · 20/05/2022 23:01

I think that once DS starts school you will appreciate the Fridays off to have time to yourself & also to cover school hols childcare.

That's a really decent part time salary. I think you need to do less though - hard to do. They can get another person in to support you.

Having a day when you don't HAVE to log on is good. You can go for weekend away if you wish, go for swim, do food shop.

I think DH could work more.

BridgesofMadisonfan · 20/05/2022 23:16

@op

You reply to @TulipsGarden was unnecessarily rude!

BridgesofMadisonfan · 20/05/2022 23:16

Sorry to @LilacPoppy