Does anyone live in NYC? DP and I are about to move

[AllThatGlitters111]

Hi,

My DP and I (not married) are moving to NYC in December. He’s been offered a fabulous opportunity.

I will be leaving my job in the U.K. to join him - I know finding a job to sponsor me will be hard but going to try and if there is no luck after a few months then we will consider marriage (literally just for the piece of paper).

In the meantime, we will be relying on his salary to support the both of us. He will be earning $10,000 a month after tax roughly.

It sounds like a ridiculous question, but does this sound like enough to live on? Rents are insanely high there as well as just the general cost of everything.

I have been looking at areas such as Dumbo in Brooklyn, Williamsburg etc. I think Manhattan will be out of the question!

if anyone has any experience living in NYC or lives there now then I would be really grateful for any advise!

Thank you :)

I would get married and do it OP.
I've done two overseas moves and currently seem to be settling in the USA.
I regret the stuff I didn't do far more than anything I did do.

In terms of costs things do cost more, much more. I can't talk about rent, don't live in NY area. But food is much more expensive, medication, gas and electric, telecommunications etc. I've adjusted after five years but spent a good year going "how much!"

That said there is a huge joy in getting to live a different type of life, eat different foods and get different vistas.

Without dc and in your shoes I'd go! But I'd make every effort to network, build some friendships up and build some skills up. Perhaps you can train in something else whilst you're out there.
Good luck OP.

As others have said, you mustn’t do this if your visa prohibits it though. It simply isn’t worth the risk.

Here's some info about L1 and L2 visas:
www.immihelp.com/l2-visa/
It looks like the rules have recently changed, and that if you enter the US as the spouse of an L1 visa holder you are automatically authorized to work. This is a big deal because it means that you would be able to start job hunting straight away. It also looks like the processing times for an L2 visa are around 30 days. This is very quick for the US.

Honestly, it would be much better if you got married in the UK. You are going to get a lot of questions at US immigration, and they might not let you in if they think you are entering the country to try and find work. I've been a Greencard holder for 15 years now and still get grilled when entering the country.

Sorry. I meant that if you enter the US as an L2 visa holder (as the spouse of an L1 visa holder) you are automatically entitled to work.

Gosh just do it, what an amazing opportunity!

Just make sure you've got enough in your personal account for a taxi to the airport and flight home should it all go tits up (speaking from experience when 'D'H cleared out our accounts).

From
what I’ve experienced having been with Aetna and Blue Cross Blue shield (PPO) and. Now Cigna open access, you should get bi-yearly cleanings at dentist, yearly well women check with ob-gyn which includes smear and a yearly well being at GP at no cost. Not sure if the make provision as my H has never signed up st a GP in 9yrs.
Outside is that I pay about $80-100 per visit for GP or other specialist visit until we meet copays.

OP why not get married now, little registry office or church do, if you'd do it there, why not here? That'd give you some real piece of mind about the move.

Presuming you're in fashion, might be wrong but if you are it's cut throat there, especially without any contacts. What about waiting 6 months, doing the long distance thing? It'd let him get settled on the job (finance?), find a decent place, get the lay of the land, and it'll all be a lot smoother when you get there. You could also apply for jobs in the interim giving you a better chance of finding something ahead of time.

Just a word of caution: if you end up pregnant and split up, it might be impossible for you to move back. Happened to a friend of mine (not US though). Probably won't happen but worth bearing in mind! And lastly, school shooting drills scare me...if he works there now what's his long term plan, to stay forever or just a while? You definitely need to know to plan, for longer term, for kids, where you see yourselves.

Great to do it now, though, when you still have no kids in the mix and you can be more spontaneous and take more chances.

We are about 90% sure we don’t want children. If we did have children, it would be a long while off yet.

Although I do agree that it’s cut-throat there, it is also cut throat in London and it took me a solid 6 months or traveling backwards and forwards to interviews after I finished uni to find something. I think it may be easier to actually BE in the city you are applying to?! I also have no where to go - we’d have to sign onto another 3 months here at our rental, then we’re paying two rents, one in London and one in NYC. I think the only way we would be able to make it work is if we go together.

He does get a corporate apartment for 6-8 weeks though.

Also the ‘job’ is for 2 years, with a chance to stay after should we want to. We both said we would cross that bridge when we get to it. A lot can happen in two years and whilst I agree it’s good to look ahead and plan, there have been plenty of people who do this and stay out longer than they were meant to originally. We cant really predict the situation we will be in by then, but I am 100% there will be no children!

I think you first have to decide whether your future is with this man. If it is, you’ll do the necessary to stay with him. If it’s not, you can have a different approach.

If you’re sure this is the man for you, just get married quickly and without fuss (because that takes energy you’ll need to devote to the move) and give the marriage certificate to his immigration lawyer. They will do the paperwork to get you out there on at least a L2 visa and also help you apply for a green card. Mentally, you’ll know you can stay there for good, or return to the UK. Once you get here, be prepared for him to be working all the hours while you visit apartments, go to ikea and thrift stores, work out doctors and supermarkets and alllllll the admin (and there’s a fuckton compared to the UK). Your job hunting will need to take a back seat until you’re settled. 6-12 months. If you’re in it for the long term with him, this is nothing. After all, he’ll be bankrolling both of you.

If you’re not sure whether he’s the one, you could get married in the UK for the visa with divorce as an easy way out (just don’t get pregnant!). Give it a go. If it works, great. If not, you can stay in the US or return to the UK. Feasible option, you’ll only be as committed as you feel (or as good as your own salary permits).

If you balk at either of these options, you’re facing breaking up when he goes, or trying to commit to a long distance relationship. Also feasible options.

You have a lot of options right now. Practicalities can be overcome, and you won’t be poor, or even struggling. You need to decide what you want and make that happen, rather than let practicalities determine what happens.

@alphons are you suggesting she doesn’t even look for a job for 6-12 months while she ‘settles’ in?!?

Not at all! Sorry, I can see how that might come across. I’m speaking from experience, almost exactly the same as OP’s (albeit not fashion for me, and some almost 20 years ago). Nobody is paying anyone a salary of over $200k + perks in this city for a neat 9-5 job that gives you time off to house hunt. Also, house hunting in this post-pandemic environment in the neighborhoods OP is looking at is all-engrossing. There are bidding wars going on, inventory is at an all-time low in her chosen neighborhoods - you have to be ON IT. Realistically, the time involved to look for a job AND an apartment, and to be available at no notice to view or close or interview or present for either….well, it’s no joke. I’d rather be the bf in this scenario!

This is a city of hustlers. There’s a huge cultural difference between NYC and other cities in the US, and an even bigger one to the UK. In my experience this is almost always underestimated because there’s only a small language difference. If the National language here were (say) Russian or Japanese people would find it easier adjusting because they’d come with an expectation of difference. People don’t. I’ve seen it more times than I can remember.

So, just speaking from experience. It can all be done (and if you can do it here, you can do it anywhere, truly). Just a question of being realistic.

Whilst I agree that looking for apartments will be really hard, we also have our own broker…does that make any difference? The broker is paid for by DPs company, I was under the impression that this made flat hunting a little easier and not as brutal. I thought they help you find the right kind of apartment and do the searching bit for you? I could have gotten that totally wrong (although, we are looking now anyway to see what sort of thing we’d get where!)

Like I said, we have a couple of months in a corporate apartment so I will be using that time to apply for jobs and go to viewings.

We are also getting our furniture shipped minus sofa so hopefully there won’t need to be too many IKEA trips!!

Broker will help, although you’d still need to have the time to physically view them - even if the broker finds / books them all.

They aren’t magical though - still the same games as estate agents here. And there are a lot of crappy apartments in NY. They’ll still show you those. And most apartments are ready to move into immediately or asap.

if you get married before you go, you could take 6 weeks to find somewhere, move in, do all the admin (there really is so much - bank accounts, social security app etc) and then start looking for a job as soon as you’re ready.

Yes the broker will set up viewings, and will recommend places for you. You will probably also want to look for yourself - Streeteasy will quickly become your most viewed website! You’ll need to do the research into neighborhoods/transport and viewings yourself, and you’ll need to provide the paperwork. If it’s a co-op, you’ll need to go through the interviews and provide all the financial history etc. It takes time. Everyone does it, it’s totally doable. Just, takes time (while you’re opening bank accounts and standing in line at the social security office and Homeland Security etc).

Great that you’re having your stuff shipped. We did the same. Took around 6 weeks to cross the Atlantic and clear customs back then, don’t know how long it is these days. Your electrical items won’t work here (110V rather than 240V) but funnily enough these things aren’t so expensive here.

I forget also that you’re young and probably have lots of energy 😀. That makes a big difference! Oh, it’s such fun here, there’s really no place like it. The best of all cultural offerings come here, and there’s an energy and enthusiasm I just haven’t found anywhere else. You feel like life is for the taking here, truly.

@alphons amazing, thank you!

omg no electrical items at all!? Sorry I’m not clued up on this, but not even a TV/laptop!?

or god forbid…a kettle/coffee machine! Ahhh

@AllThatGlitters111 my chargers, straightners and even hoover does when using adapters.

we made the move to NY last year.

People don’t use electrical kettles here, they take forever (because 110V). It’s stovetop kettles. Coffee machines for drip coffee can be had for $30. Obvs there are fancy ones too. I’m having a dim memory of buying an adapter for my electrical goods….it didn’t work. Waste of money. Sell or give away what you have before you leave, and start anew.

Also sheets are a different size, so you may well leave behind any fitted sheets and start anew here.

Laptops - I’m not 100% but I think you can buy a local adapter/ charger and it should work. My Apple products all work in the UK when I visit, so maybe vice versa works too?

Dont forget to check if your rental apt comes with a washer/dryer. Many don’t. If you’re not used to communal laundry facilities, it can be a bugger.

@alphons ive had a completely different experience having moved to Manhattan in the past year.

all our electrical stuff worked and we bought an electric kettle from crate and barrel very easily!

Eeep we just bought a fancy coffee machine and kettle (before he got the offer) - really don’t want to sell either of them…I think we’ll leave the kettle here in storage with someone but chance the coffee machine!

Thank goodness this was pointed out to me, I would have rocked up when all this stuff and it wouldn’t have worked.

anyone know about TV? I am googling but there isn’t much clarity.

@AllThatGlitters111 THEY DO WORK.

Our laptops work fine in the USA and UK you just need a travel plug, same with cell phones.
Larger equipment such as mixers don't work as well.
*
If your appliance has a hertz frequency listed on it as 50/60 Hz, it will work in the U.S.* But if it does not use 50/60 Hz, your appliance will not work. For appliances with an internal power switch with a range of 110 v to 240 v, you will need a plug adapter.

Go (get married here first) and have a fantastic time. I'd live in Jersey City or Hoboken in preference to Brooklyn if Manhattan was too costly, but if you're in fashion, NYC is great for your career prospects. Wish I were your age again!

Read back some of the older responses, and you don't sound like you have much to worry about financially in NYC. When I moved i was on $70k 10 years ago which wasn't advisable. $150k+ will support 2 of you well (tip for when it happens, his bonus will be taxed at 55%, so don't apply the normal tax rate there, but that is still a decent chunk of cash). Get on a decent healthcare plan so no nasty surprises and you'll be fine. They don't honestly cost that much and are taken pre tax. If your stuff will be shipped then that is great, there is an IKEA in Elizabeth NJ with 5% sales tax so cheaper than the other ones should you need it. There is also one in Red Hook NY which is just a nice wee ferry ride from lower Manhattan. You can basically get anything else at this point (kettle etc) from Amazon on 2 day free shipping. Re. Brokers, personally, I hate them. They take 1-2 months rent to find apartments you can very easily find yourself. I'd recommend just looking for a list of apartment buildings in the area you like, and checking streeteasy too. The bigger more reputable ones will have a website with clear prices and a leasing office, which can rent to you directly. It is honestly just easier to do. I once lived in an apartment you could rent directly from the owner with no fee, and saw brokers showing it to unsuspecting people when we were moving out. They can be really shady to get that commission.

Now the fun stuff. I've been out west for 3 years, but spent the 8 years before in NYC. Bagels: Thompson Square in the East Village. Restaurants: l'artusi (sit at the bar if you can), phenomenal food, hard to get a reservation so easier to just turn up and wait for a bar seat, Malatesta and Aria for cheap but always good Italian, Xian famous foods (hole in the wall amazing noodles), Joe's Shanghai (dumplings), the meatball shop (always sold good food), Prince St Pizza, Robertas, Boqueria for great Spanish tapas. Food websites to find decent places: Eater NY and The Infatuation NY, with Yelp for real local people reviews. Always check Yelp. Rooftops are cute and fun at first, but very pricey and the novelty wears thin fast. Thats kind of where the new NYC people start, then quickly end up finding better local bars. Personally i'd recommend the East/West village for decent neighbourhood bars. Shopping when you need something fast: go to 18-21 Street on 5th. Decent selection of nice places. Weird things as an expat that you won't realize are tough to find in America: decent deoderant (I ship mine from the UK on Amazon now), not weird tampons, Oxo stock cubes and I really resent paying $10 for a small container of Batiste dry hair shampoo when I know how much it costs at Boots. Haircuts here are also expensive so get one before you leave. I think there must be an expat community in the upper east side, as there was a Mortons supermarket with a good british aisle. At one point I even found Irn Bru :). Myers of Keswick in the west village also has all the British staples for when you are feeling homesick and don't care about burning a hole in your pocket. I think they even sell real British bacon. The museums are fanatstic, the Frick is stunning architecturally, the Met is fantastic, Moma interesting etc. Obviously central park is nice (sheeps meadow on a hot day work lying out on), or Washington Sq Park was honstly my favourite. When you need a break from the city go north on the MTA on a train, there are some lovely little spots, Cold Springs has some great hikes, Beacon and Hudson are beautiful little overnight escape places. In case you can't tell, after 3 years away I miss NYC so much. It is an incredible place to spend your late 20s/early 30s. I had some friends who used meetup to find new people in NYC groups with quite a bit of success, but by and large NYC people are actually friendly and i'm sure you will find your crowd fast. Good luck and have the most amazing time!!!!!