Does anyone live in NYC? DP and I are about to move

[AllThatGlitters111]

Hi,

My DP and I (not married) are moving to NYC in December. He’s been offered a fabulous opportunity.

I will be leaving my job in the U.K. to join him - I know finding a job to sponsor me will be hard but going to try and if there is no luck after a few months then we will consider marriage (literally just for the piece of paper).

In the meantime, we will be relying on his salary to support the both of us. He will be earning $10,000 a month after tax roughly.

It sounds like a ridiculous question, but does this sound like enough to live on? Rents are insanely high there as well as just the general cost of everything.

I have been looking at areas such as Dumbo in Brooklyn, Williamsburg etc. I think Manhattan will be out of the question!

if anyone has any experience living in NYC or lives there now then I would be really grateful for any advise!

Thank you :)

*flat deposit, for when we buy a property.

Sounds like a wonderful opportunity, you are young without the ties of children so I say go for it! Wish I’d had the chance to live and work abroad ( too old now at 65!)
Get married though. My middle son lives on Long Island. Married to American girl he met at university in the UK and worked on a green card for a year first ( nearly 20 years ago so don’t know what the equivalent is now)He is an American citizen now and absolutely loves his life, job, house etc. He commutes ( in non Covid times) daily into Manhattan on the Long Island Railroad.

Are you sure you can go with him if you're not married? As in-, will you qualify for a spouse visa?

On an L1 you would be able to apply for a work permit but not if he's going on an H1B visa.

You are highly unlikely to get an employee to sponsor you. Visas like this are reserved for v high skilled/ outstanding candidates and for very specific roles and an employer would need to show that they have not been able to recruit within the US. These visas are also highly competitive and there is a lottery element to them too.

If you can get a visa to live there with your DP then you need to be prepared to be completely financially dependent on him. And I assume you've checked that $10,000 a month is definitely net? Taxes can be much higher in the US than people imagine. You may be able to apply for a student visa-, but obviously there would be additional costs to studying there.

You could always try it out for a year and go home if it's not working?

Get married, go and have an adventure! Realistically what’s the worst that could happen? Think of that and ensure reasonable mitigation then go and enjoy your life.

Do it. NYC is a great place. Pre-covid, Dh used to go there for work trips every few months, and sometimes I’d go with him for a few days if we could wangle childcare. He had the chance to move there permanently, but I vetoed it because we were at the wrong life stage. If we’d been younger and pre children I’d have gone like a shot.

You need to nail down certain details:

• The specific visa your DP will get. What steps need to be taken in what timeframe in order to get a Green Card and whether that is possible with the visa he has and the one you hope to get.

• What visa and privileges (work, Social Security Number, drivers license, etc.) you are entitled to if married/unmarried.

• The precise gross monthly/annual income. Taxes are assessed on federal, state and city level in NYC.

• The sort of health insurance and who funds it - HMO, PPO? Completely funded by the company or partially funded? Deductibles - individual and family? Out of pocket limits? Coverage - mental health, physical health, screenings, lab tests, x-rays, prescriptions, emergency room visits, annual checkups, dental, orthodontic, eye exams, glasses/contacts?

• Commuting time and face time requirements/culture in the office where your DP will be working - long hours and stupid teambuilding retreats are de rigeur in some workplaces, which can have a terrible effect on relationships and the wellbeing of the person languishing at home with no friends or family or familiar colleagues to socialise with.

• Consider shorter annual leave and the impact that will have on your hopes of exploring the US and getting back to friends and family in the UK. How much annual leave will your DP get? What is the culture of the NYC office when it comes to taking allowed time off? A related question, how much medical leave and how many paid personal days will he be allowed?

• What sort of financial support and relocating support does the company offer to people in your position? Moving costs can be high whether you decide to ship furniture or buy new when you get to NY. Apartments come unfurnished. Does the company put new arrivals up in a corporate rental and offer or refer you to a relocation agent who would help you find a place of your own?

I think $10k per month could get you a comfortable apartment and enough to afford a nice lifestyle as long as you don't go nuts.

This is very reassuring! Thank you.

It’ll be amazing to experience a new country.

For 'gross' read 'net'.

You won’t get sponsored so strongly suggest you make your decision on that basis. The spouse process is long so would also recommend you think about how you’ll feel being unable to earn for months-year and whether that will change your relationship dynamic.

I live in a west coast expensive city and $10k month is probably fine. (are you sure health care is already taken out of that? Usually employer pays part/most for the employee and spouse can buy into the plan, but often for the spouse you pay most of the cost). Also depending on the plan you may have significant out of pocket expenses. If it’s a high deductible plan you may be paying out of pocket until you hit 3,5,10k. Rent, here you would be likely paying $2-3k month to live in a decent neighborhood in a 1 bedroom apartment in rent. Food has been much more expensive, we easily spend $800 a month. We do prioritize good quality food but just shop at a regular grocery store. Another consideration is pensions. For us we put the max in which works out to 4k/month for 2 of us. Our other major expense is childcare, without DC it’d just be regular bills which are probably $600 a month all in (car insurance, water, gas, utilities, electric).

10 k is fine if no health insurance to pay. You could enroll in a bunch of classes at community college and not work or do the exam to be a substitute. New York public schools pay their teachers really well so the sub rate will be over $200 a day- my colleague here taught elementary there and made 100k plus just as a teacher- no other responsibilities so the supply teaching rate will be good and then you do not have to work 5 days a week- actually enjoy New York since you won't be there forever.

Tuition is so reasonable at the community colleges and you can do art/singing/ writing classes for non credit or credit www.bmcc.cuny.edu/admissions/non-degree-students/

Look at all these fabulous classes you could take and you meet people that way too-www.bmcc.cuny.edu/academics/departments/music-and-art/course-listings/

It sounds like it could actually be a positive career move for you. A gamble but one that might be worth it and a great experience.

Just to add to all the 'get married' comments. Yes you absolutely should. As another reason, check whether the insurance company would actually cover you on tourist visa. Seems unlikely.

Also, talk to your DP about what happens after a year? What if one of you wants to come home and the other doesn't (and don't assume it will be you wanting to return!).

Agree that the uplift on his salary doesn't seem to be enough - is he negotiating hard enough?

This sounds like a wonderful opportunity, OP: for your career and your relationship.

I assume you're in fashion and he's in finance (or law). If so, you'll want easy access to Wall Street/Soho.

If you're on $10k after tax, without kids, you'll be fine. Once kids are in the picture, it's pretty difficult bc childcare is so expensive, but it's fine for you two. Once you get a job, it'll be even more.

You should probably be saving for a pension, etc., but you have time to settle first.

There's plenty of places to say. If he's on $190k, then you can rent up to $4750 on his salary alone, without anyone fussing at you.

I just checked StreetEasy for apartments in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn Heights, DUMBO, Tribeca, Williamsburg, SoHo, Tribeca, the Village, and Chelsea, at or below $4,500, and I found 302 apartments. (Some of them are really more Vinegar Hill than DUMBO and Bushwick than Williamsburg, but there's plenty there.) There are even things with pretty raw bricks that feel ridiculously Young Person in City (streeteasy.com/building/127-west-15th-street-new_york/4f)

Your bills will probably run about $1-1.5k per month. That then leaves you with about $4k to do with what you want: food, travel, drinks, etc. Not a huge amount of money in NYC, but not none.

You'll need a broker, probably, for the apartment. It's a pain the arse.

Enjoy your life!

First, congrats, it is a huge exciting opportunity!! I moved to nyc solo In my mid 20s with no understanding of initial cost, so you have the right idea asking. Nyc is expensive as hell in all honesty. Food, drinks, just general living costs. Things to know, credit does not transfer over. So I could get a credit card for about $200 a month limit for the first year, I had to battle to get a cellphone plan as I had no credit, apartments require 40x rent as the base salary to allow you to get one or you have to Craigslist one and only some are legit. Usually 2 months deposit is required on apartments. They all come unfurnished. 5 years ago I paid $2250 for a tiny 1 bed apartment in the upper East, it would not have fit 2 people comfortably. Also you are responsible for your taxes, not your employer. Nyc has 3 levels, federal, state and city so it is a lot! It’s based on where you work too, so living in NJ will not get you around that. The first few months are a huge learning curve for expats. But it is an amazing city. I was in nyc 8 years and it was the best time of my life. I loved the accessibility of walking everywhere, the museums, the nyc lifestyle etc. i have a uk friend married to her uk husband in nyc bc it was the easiest way to get her a visa. This was pre covid. Visas now have a massive backlog, and extremely long processing times. You are most likely to be successful applying as a spouse, not a girlfriend, and honestly sooner is better, even if you dont use it. Even then, it will take a long time. Until then it’s something like 60 days a year of visiting allowed without a visa. It’s confusing as hell, immigration is no fun. But no other city is like nyc and I 1 million% recommend that it is experienced ❤️. Good luck!

Good lord that apartment is TINY, is basically a studio.

I have lived in smaller (I lived in Tokyo for 5 years) but I was on much less money!

op I really hope you go and get it sorted so it works for both of you.

Do it OP! Just try it and give it a go! You can always come home it it really doesn't work but when the opportunity passes you can't turn the clock back!
Do it do it do it!!!

Thank you! 💕

Posts like these make me realise life is too short!

Also for anyone saying it’s not enough - he is getting $260k dollars in total per year (that’s salary + guaranteed bonus) plus all moving costs, shipments, brokers, flights out etc paid for. Also my flights are paid for.

Medical insurance is paid for (although, as I said, we need to look into this).

It doesn’t look like he can push for more. Surely we are still better off than being on £150k in London combined with a few £3k bonuses!? Or is it really THAT expensive (apart from the rent, which I am aware is expensive).

I will also say I am v used to being thrifty and although I love my nice things (clothes!), I don’t tend to spend a lot of money eating out, blowing it on drinks etc. I cook in most of the time and enjoy making healthy food.

I should also be working at some point, so I am hoping I can contribute too. Roles in my field are paying £50k+.

It is a fabulous opportunity OP but only if you are married before you go out there. Otherwise it's a fabulous opportunity for him and not for you.

If immigration get even a sniff that you are speaking to work contacts while you're on a tourist visa, they will kick you out and won't let you back in

Oh, yes, but it's the pretty one in Chelsea. You can get a lot more square feet in another neighbourhood and fewer brick walls. But, also, Manhattan real estate is insane.

I'm not saying don't go but I do think that you need to talk about some stuff first like children. There's a big difference between not wanting children now and not wanting them ever. If you do want children in the future and you divorce you cannot move them to another country (like the UK) without his agreement. Look up the Hague convention. So if you do want children you will have to be okay with living there indefinately. Even though you can leave once they're adult, you might not want to leave them.

If you don't want children ever, this is all much simpler.

Go, go, go! You'll have the time of your life! This could be the making of you both!

260K is a great salary even in NY, sometimes people kind of stealth brag on posts like this when they insinuate you are not getting enough, since a tiny % of people go to NY on super high salaries and they get to holler out that they are in that little special well paid group I think because they can't be so stupid to think 260 k is a low salary that was not negotiated well enough???

We came out to the West coast on far less than that some years back and I did not work for 7 years- best move we ever made. Financially we have set ourselves up for retirement in a way we would never have pulled off in the UK. Our lifestyle is better here.
It will be a huge adventure- get married, that is a given with the visas.

£160!k not £260k!!