Does anyone live in NYC? DP and I are about to move

[AllThatGlitters111]

Hi,

My DP and I (not married) are moving to NYC in December. He’s been offered a fabulous opportunity.

I will be leaving my job in the U.K. to join him - I know finding a job to sponsor me will be hard but going to try and if there is no luck after a few months then we will consider marriage (literally just for the piece of paper).

In the meantime, we will be relying on his salary to support the both of us. He will be earning $10,000 a month after tax roughly.

It sounds like a ridiculous question, but does this sound like enough to live on? Rents are insanely high there as well as just the general cost of everything.

I have been looking at areas such as Dumbo in Brooklyn, Williamsburg etc. I think Manhattan will be out of the question!

if anyone has any experience living in NYC or lives there now then I would be really grateful for any advise!

Thank you :)

Do look into the visa/immigration issues properly before you go - as far as I know it may not be as simple as going over on a tourist visa and looking for work that will sponsor you, I don't think the USA are keen on people doing that at all and you'll likely be questioned about your intentions at the border.... plus if you stay the maximum allowed on a temporary visa, even if you then get married you may not be able to stay/come back in/automatically look for work. US immigration is very very tough, much harder than other countries and if they suspect you are trying to play the system they may just kick you out/not allow you in in the first place... not to say don't do it but have your eyes open to the potential pitfalls before taking any irrevocable steps like quitting your job!

What’s your plan? Career wise?

£25k isn’t great, so are you doing something about that? Can you study while in NYC, use the year or two to retrain/upskill.

I think you need to think about what YOUR next move would be without him and then go from there.

I would not take a year out to be a trailing “spouse” without being actually married. Financially and security wise it’s a crazy idea.

Youre very young… plenty of time to retrain etc.

Also to point out - ‘just for the piece of paper’…I mean that in the best way. We want to be together but were in no rush to get married or even think about that up until recently.

so although it sounds bad, it’s not meant in that way. It was just never on the cards, nor are kids, anytime soon…

I worked in New York for a year and it was the most amazing time of my life. It sounds like you have nothing to lose but get married first so that you can work and continue your career. You have been together long enough what is stopping you getting married?

I will be leaving my job in the U.K. to join him - I know finding a job to sponsor me will be hard but going to try and if there is no luck after a few months then we will consider marriage (literally just for the piece of paper).

Are you sure you've thought this through? If your own job cannot transfer you on an L1, what options are there other than H1b. Which is a visa that is capped (Google h1b lottery...), unless you're in academia.

How will you physically find this Job? If immigration get wind of the fact that you are trying to live there on an ESTA (if this is the plan?), they won't let you in!

Why won't you get married if you are together for the long term? You'll automatically get an L2 if you do, and this allows you to work.

Though you'd likely still be a dependent scrambling to find work - at a time of your life when you ought to build your own career.

What happens if he settles and you don't, or vice versa. Whats the long term plan? Expat life can be extremely unsettling and fraught with difficulties.

NB: BritishExpats.com is a good resource.

You need to check on the employee contribution to the health insurance and the copays. On that salary there is probably no “gotcha” shock coming, but it requires due diligence. It’s pretty common for an employee contribution to be around $5-800 a month for a family and for copays to be 20%.note that isn’t the shock price, that is a normal payment.

he will also be paying taxes. I have no idea what this will be in his situation. My general rule of thumb is that I can expect about 70% of my salary to make it to my bank account. I still have to pay medical bills and prescription costs out of that, but not insurance premiums.

note that marriage does not automatically give you the right to work. You need to research the visa situation carefully.

Is the contract for a limited period of time, op? Is he happy to support you indefinitely should you not be able to work, given that you've said he would go without you if you chose to stay behind?

OOOOh how fun! I lived there in 2006 in the east village in Manhattan.

I think it totally depends on what kind of lifestyle you want to lead. Manhattan is incredible, the energy on the streets is like no other. Look at places like the Lower East Side - vibrant areas with amazing shops bars and restaurants.

What kind of visa are you going on OP?
This is critical to what you will be able to do when out here.
If it is an L2 you will be able to work.
I understand that you no longer have to apply for your EAD, that it is automatically granted alongside your visa.
I am still working on my separately applied for EAD so I'm yet to test this personally but our immigration lawyers have told DH this is the case.
Have you talked to your DP's immigration lawyers yet.

You say 'health insurance is covered' but you need to understand what that means - it doesn't mean it will be free. Ask what the co-pay, deductible and out of pocket max will be so you know what part you will be responsible for. Also ask for the details of dental, vision and prescription insurance since those will be separate.

It would be far easier to just get married and go on an L spouse visa (and easier to get a green card if you decide you want to stay) than to find an employer to sponsor you for your own visa - H1b applications are oversubscribed so even if you find someone who agrees to sponsor you, you may not get picked. They have also wrapped up applications for this year (apps close February for an October start) so the earliest you can move on an H visa will be late 2023. You seem to be planning to move before you have a visa in place, but if you go there on a tourist visa and get quizzed about what you're doing and they realize your partner is going to be living there, it will likely raise some red flags at immigration.

I think getting married and arriving on an L2 visa is the only option that really makes practical sense unless I am missing something.
You also need to understand that on an L1/L2 visa if your DH loses his job you both have to leave the country very quickly.

I'm so jealous! I think you really need to look at getting married, though, and also looking at a career change or how to progress in your field.

I work in an industry that would be a lot better paid out there (creative).

so yes, I feel like the only way to do it would be to get married. It’s just extremely daunting!

It’s also one of the major cities for my type of work (sorry don’t want to be too outing). The other two are London, Paris, Milan and NYC are the top four cities known for it, if that gives you any clues.

I could definitely forge a career out there, despite my terrible salary, I have some amazing names on my CV.

I also have contacts within the industry in the US.

While I agree with the concern of losing your job you will be fine with $10k net a month unless you went to spend like crazy.

if you are able to get a job later that will increase your household income for the better.

It sounds like an amazing adventure and you will have fun and can always return to the UK when you’re ready to.

for context what was both your incomes in the UK?

Our income in the U.K. combined is £150k.

This is exactly what I did, I left my pivotal career point to follow a man I was in love with to a job in a country that furthered his career. I thought I could find something easily with my skills and experience once there, instead it took several months to find anything at all. It damaged my career and it's never recovered. I regret it deeply.

If he really loves you, he will go somewhere that makes it possible for you to have a fulfilling career as well as him. Otherwise, you will resent it in the future. Also New York is really not what it's cracked up to be, you can go there when you're old! You could spend time working in a genuinely exciting place overseas while you're young and without the worries of children, healthcare, mortgage etc.

If you can't decide yet, why don't you apply for jobs in NY from here and see if you get something before you leave?

I would do lots of research on apartments for long term rent etc and take it from there - if you have no real ties here and have a good relationship with your DP then I think it would be an amazing opportunity.

Very wise post.

You should be married going and take the opportunity to move forward in YOUR career.

Anything else is frankly madness IMO.

You need to get married now, not when you get there.

Someone mentioned costs like deductions but this is usually capped per year so eg it may be 20% company to a max of $6k for the year for a family. Without kids I expect it may be lower. You can save that amount in a HSA account which is pre tax and roll it forward each year for medical related expenses. You already said his employer is covering medical insurance which is great.

NYC is expensive no doubt especially if you went to like in Manhattan but $10k net for a couple with no kids you will be fine and have a good time if you are sensible.

I moved across the US to support a boyfriend in his job when I was younger (early/mid 20s) and later settled in the UK with my now-husband. My thoughts:

1. I would talk seriously with my partner about how temporary this move is. Is this something he's committed to doing for only X number of years and then you can def move back to the UK? Obviously things change, but I'd want an agreement.
2. If I'd been with said partner for a long time, I would probably insist on getting married so I had a legal right to work.
3. You need to work through your issues with being the "trailing partner" the one who earns less money and possibly has less say in where you go. I was in this position with my first boyfriend and hated it because it was never going to be an equal relationship. With my now husband, I settled in the UK to support his career but felt we were on more equal footing and he was willing to make internal UK moves to support my goals/happiness. I would not have married that boyfriend.

Things get a lot more complicated with kids, but that's not a concern for you, which is OK. If it were me? I'd go on the adventure. But I understand your concerns.

I agree with @TiddleyWink you should get married and get the right to work. As you said you have good career options in NYC so makes no sense to lose all that and not work and it also gives you some protection.

1. Definitely get married beforehand or you could end up in a serious mess trying to switch visas while there. Worst case it could be construed you entered the country under false pretenses.

1. Try to do everything possible to scout out job opportunities beforehand. You say you have good contacts, so set up discussions with them, ask for referrals etc.

1. You don't say what company your partner works for. If they're reasonably large, might be worth it checking if they've got a spousal hire program - either internally or by going through an external agency. Similarly, do they offer assistance with such things as househunting, maybe through an expat service?

I live in NYC. You'll be fine on $10k per month net. Williamsburg and Dumbo are v.v.v. expensive though and absolutely not cheaper than many parts of Manhattan. Take a look at StreetEasy to get a sense of rents. You'll generally need to be making 40x the rent and since you don't have a credit history, your DP might have to have his company act as a guarantor.

Happy to answer any questions you might have about living here!

Honestly, I'm concerned about the visa piece of this. I've only skim read the thread, but you really can't go over on a tourist Visa and expect someone to hire you. You're going to need to get married first and go over on an L visa.