Persuade me not to do this.

[BrutusMcDogface]

Quit my job.

I hated being a stay at home mum during lockdown and working has given me such a lot of self worth.

However, I have it in my head that I want to take my little one’s first year of school off so that I can be there for her (pick up, drop off, sick days etc) as I have been teaching full time for the last two years. I have missed out on her preschool years 😭

Plus, my job is so very hard and is giving me the kind of stress that makes you feel sick to your stomach.

I know there are some tough talking mumsnetters so please help me to get this thought out of my head. It’s all I can think of right now.

I took a year out of teaching when my youngest was 4 for very similar reasons - having had a shortish maternity leave, I felt I really wanted time to enjoy together when my child was of an age when we could do more together. That year was a very special one for the memories we made together.

Thank you Twillow. Did you find it easy to go back to work after a year off?

So today is the day. Butterflies in my tummy. Wish someone could tell me what to do 😭

If you can afford it, then definitely! If you'd have the bailiff knocking after a couple of months then rethink! If you do do it, perhaps think about whether you should return to it or do something else afterwards.

”DP”?

I wouldn’t be giving up work if he wasn’t a “DH”, I’m afraid.

Thank you 😊

Thanks suprima. Fair point. Like I said before, I’m fully in charge of all finances.

I was lucky enough to change to school hours from full time - and would not have changed a think - yes the cut in income was there- but you adjust, I worked with a woman who came back to work when her DS was 3 months old - full time - and had a childminder for after school - she was always pretty miserable, her son and her are not close (he left home at 16) there was no bond - I told myself I would never do this - this time is soo precious and being there for your child is everything . I think you have already decided but want confirmation of your wish to do this.

I would do it.
And i did when dh was a dp.
I have always had full control of finance's and I'm lucky in that he supported me im everything, even when there were times we went without.
I have always either worked around school hours or been a sahm. For us its best and less stressful.

I remember my mum not being there when I was in my first year at school. And I remember feeling sad that neither parent ever collected me from school.

Sorry OP, that probably isn't what you wanted to hear!

Butter- I think I have, but have massively cold feet, thinking I might regret it.

Rose hip- nope, that’s exactly what I need to hear ❤️

Thank you marmite 😊

I would resign. There is a shortage of teaching staff so you should be able to go back easily at some point. Or just do supply. Or train for something else if you're not enjoying it. Many office admin jobs pay well and your skills would transfer easily. Less stress, nicer working environment and usually options to move into higher paid roles.

I resigned my post for similar reasons OP - focus on health, get house and garden all lovely, time to spend with loved ones, focus on other interests, etc. Initially I'm having a year off, then will re-assess. Life is short. If you have choices, use them. I have not regretted it, I'm loving every moment.

I gave up work for similar reasons when my youngest was 1 and a half, balancing work/ life/ admin/ fun etc just meant we were living in chaos and everyone, adults included, was unsettled. My job had also changed at the time and was becoming something different to when I started. It was the best decision I/ my DH and I have made for our family. I have struggled at times, its not been easy, but! We are all far more calmer, and our house is still a little chaotic- we have a doer upper house and there are still lots of big jobs to do. But, this last year is the first year my kids have all been in full time (especially when you factor in covid absences as well) which makes a huge difference, and we are finally reaching a point where our house works for us. I haven't regretted it, even during the difficult times.

The main thing to consider is the balance of work really. So you will likely become the 'default parent' by nature of being around all the time. I have day off a week when the kids are in school for my hobbies etc so I get that much needed downtime.

Financially as well, all income is shared in our house, so I am not reliant on him distributing funds when I need it- I have full and unfettered access to any and all of the money we have via joint accounts including joint savings.

It's a massive decision, but your children are only that young once - the years fly by to their independence, I have so many lovely memories of 'being there' walking home from school together, chatting about their day, being a part of the school family, the children who were collected by out of school clubs always looked sad to me.

If you can afford it as a family, and if the year off won’t affect your job prospects, then go for it.

When I was teaching full time years ago, before having my kids, I also saw that the children going to after school clubs were sad. They really were. And the kids whose parents picked them up bounced out of the door happily.

I’ve done a mixture over the years of full time, part time and sahm and all have their challenges! This would be the first time I’d have time to myself to thoroughly sort out our lives. I think it’s needed.

I also have no idea how it would affect my future job prospects, which is part of the problem really, but like many have said here, I think there’s going to be a recruitment crisis in teaching, so it would probably be ok 🤷🏻‍♀️

What did you do @BrutusMcDogface ?

I chickened out 😭
Though I’ve told myself that I will resign at the end of next term if things don’t improve.

Do you have any transferable skills?

Haha, this has tickled me! I think teachers do have transferable skills….. have you got any good ideas for my future career? (Please?! 🤣)

PS I really am very grateful for the responses I’ve received on this thread, and I thank you all ❤️

If you resign next term it doesn’t have to be forever. If things don’t work out and you aren’t happy, then you can look for a new (different/part time/less stressful) job. Don’t think of it as a permanent decision.