Persuade me not to do this.

[BrutusMcDogface]

Quit my job.

I hated being a stay at home mum during lockdown and working has given me such a lot of self worth.

However, I have it in my head that I want to take my little one’s first year of school off so that I can be there for her (pick up, drop off, sick days etc) as I have been teaching full time for the last two years. I have missed out on her preschool years 😭

Plus, my job is so very hard and is giving me the kind of stress that makes you feel sick to your stomach.

I know there are some tough talking mumsnetters so please help me to get this thought out of my head. It’s all I can think of right now.

I say do it! It’s a perfectly legitimate reason for a career break and it’s not like you won’t find another job when you go back.

I found with my older 3, who were in before and after school club from Reception, that I didn’t get to know their classmates parents and was out of the loop not being there to pass the time of day, be recognised etc, at drop off and pick up. Was a SAHM when my youngest started school and got to know more of his friends parents.

Haha. I'm absolutely possible it won't be the same for you. I'm a lazy arse and honestly my husband, and family, looked quite sceptical when I made the rash claim. 🤭

Definitely leave your job. When you've got gaps in your cv and you explain it was because of young children, employers are very reassured. You can always get a job teaching. Strangely I took VR from teaching. I mark exams now for a bit of extra money. I don't regret leaving at all.
Best of luck. 🥂

Why not find a job as a hlta? Most are part time and no stress of extra planning at home?

I did supply at just two or three schools when my kids were young. I got to know their systems, they got to know me, and it worked great. I've never felt so in control of my life. Being able to say yes or no when I got a call, was really empowering. Also there was none of the really stressful non-teaching stuff. And if you do a decent job of it, instead of being taken for granted, the SMT really appreciate you!

If that kind of non-agency work is available to you at schools you know/would like to work at, then I reckon it's a great way to live life.

It also meant that I built the relationships, knew where I liked working, and when the obvious happened and a contracted job came up at one of them at a point when I was ready to commit, I was invited to apply and was the preferred candidate.

I would find out if they have considered your PT request and if not why not. Get an answer before the deadline.

A close friend of mine left teaching around 10 years ago, and is now a HLTA. Obviously, there's been a hit on income, but she's loving her role - lots of the benefits, and none of the extra stresses. She works 8.30am until 3.30pm, and heads home with a free evening ahead.
Is this something you could afford to consider?

I'll echo what PP just said. My burnt out primary school teacher friend went back as a TA a couple of yrs ago. Money much less but she actually enjoys it. And barely pays for any childcare for her own now.
She also said shes finding that her kids need her more in their high school years than when they were at primary which she hadn't expected.

I took a career break for a year when ds started school and it was one of the best things I did. I took another (short) one when he took GCSE's and similarly didn't regret it. They grow up so fast snd are gone before you know it and I'm glad I have a lot of memories.
So I'm not going to persuade you otherwise! If you can afford it, do it.

When your old you will never look back and wish you worked more. You will look back and wish you spent more time with the people you love !

You say DP- you aren't married? If not quitting would make you extremely financially vulnerable. Things like pension and NI contributions to consider too.

Thank you all so much for your replies!

squishygloopybum (😁) yours is the kind of response I was expecting. Totally valid, thank you.

everyone else- lots of food for thought. I have just under two weeks to decide. Thanks again 😊

Gospel- my head isn’t the most approachable person in the world (yes, he is very much part of the problem!) but I’ll try and get an answer before half term.

@BrutusMcDogface

I think your doing amazingly well to work with 4 kids especially teaching!!

However I fully get your need for a work life balance - I agree with people either go part time 2-3 days per week or do some supply perhaps?

I think people who train to teach have worked so hard and are so passionate about what they do.

Alternatively my friend is a qualified teacher and has 3 kids she's now a registered childminder as she can look after her own kids at the same time it works well.

Go with your heart but I hope they reply to you soon - they should do as if they say yes they need to get an advert out for the other half of your job share or equally, be prepared for advertising the full post if you don't like their response and resign!!!

I'm a primary teacher and took time out to be with both my sons from 0-5 (completely acknowledge my privilege in being able to do this). My youngest starts school in September and I've already secured a supply teacher contract at their school (I have volunteered there for years so had built up a good relationship with the school).

My point is that teaching is potentially very flexible. Even with 10 years out of the classroom it has been easy for me to get back into it, and supply really doesn't feel so intimidating if you can attach yourself to one or two schools and really get to know their systems, staff and children.

It sounds like you'd be a lot happier if you could make some changes now, good luck with it. X

I’ve now pressed for a response to the part time request. Thanks again; this thread has been so helpful.

Do you teach primary or secondary?

Supply has its own difficulties. Often you’re called in at the last minute and have to get there quickly which can be hard if you have to organise your childcare at short notice.

Is there enough supply? A lot of schools are cutting back on supply teachers and using unqualified cover staff to save money.

When my child was small I took time off and became out of touch. I would never have been able to interview well enough to land a job. I was lucky and a head I’d worked with previously offered me a two term contract. This enabled me to update my knowledge and eventually return in a permanent capacity.

It can be hard following someone else’s planning and often I’ve found it inadequate and unsuitable for children you don’t know. There’s also sometimes discipline issues as you’re not respected in the same way as a permanent member of staff.

Sorry if this sounds negative but I’ve done a lot of supply and there are definitely downsides. I’d go for part time if you get the chance.

Why not if you can afford it.
I’m sure you can get another job if you hate being SAHM
I don’t think lockdown is a fair assessment
and I suppose youll always wonder if you don’t do it now.

Just seen your updated message. 🤞

Thank you shed and princess.

I might feel a little differently if work was going well…..

Hi again! I had a long chat with a friend of mine lastnight. I feel like I would regret it if I didn’t take the time to be with my child. I will wait and see what my Head says but I’m erring on the side of resigning.

The question is whether you can afford it. If you can't, then there's no point in considering it.

If you can, then it is a matter of weighing up the pros and cons -.less stress vs financial impact. But if you hated being at home last time I wouldn't assume you'll be happier.

Wouldn't a change of job be better?

We could afford it, but without all the luxuries we currently enjoy.

Someone said upthread that lockdown isn’t a fair comparison and I think that’s true. It would definitely be better than that!

added info: I’ve posted on the thread entitled “growing up in a messy and dirty house”. Our house isn’t squalid but it’s not good enough for my children. I need to sort it before it’s too late and they end up as traumatised adults!

On your death bed which would you regret?

Not having your job?

Not having that time you mentioned with your child?

Absolutely. I would regret not having the time with my child.

Hi all, I’m just returning to say I had a variation of my part time request honoured, and I agreed verbally. It’s not much different from what I’m doing, though.

however….I’ve been thinking and thinking this weekend/ since the end of term and I still might hand in my notice. I have two days to decide.

whenever I talk to people about work (my partner and parents, today) my heart rate goes up, sick feeling comes back, voice falters/feel breathless. Quite frankly I’m worried about my health 😔

don’t know what I want to achieve with this post….just a sounding board. Thanks again ❤️