I’m going to a Catholic Church on Sunday. Is there anything I need to be aware of?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

Support Worker, taking one of my peeps for the first time.

I’ve not been into a Catholic Church before and don’t want to offend anyone or make any faux pas.

Is there a dress code? Anything else I need to be aware of?

Thank you!

I agree Ochon

The other thing is - nobody cares in the slightest. Really. They just won't pay a blind bit of attention to you sitting, standing or what you do for Communion.

You will get struck down by lightning. It may just be a slow moving bolt for your "friend". You should expect it any day now.

😂😂😂😂

Agreed.
I'd say about 2-4 people out of about a hundred or so are likely to kneel here. Nobody else does.
And nobody is going to look at you.

The poor OP is going to be scared witless at some of these "do this" and "don't do that's"

I have attended a cardinal's funeral and nobody was kneeling or covering their head.

10 minutes is very impressive.

The only issue with that is how would a teenager answer their mother when they get home from mass and she asks what the sermon was about to check if they really went?

It only dawned on me years later that she would have no clue what the sermon was about either. I just assumed she had an in and would hear what it was about.

I think mass in England is often shorter than many Protestant services, especially as it’s meant to be attended daily and not only a Sunday. I feel nostalgic after reading this thread and wish church was more dog friendly, are there any religions like that I could convert to? Hope you enjoy it OP, questionable doctrines aside the laity is largely made of warm people doing thoughtful things or at least it is round here. Please update on how it goes if you get a spare minute. It’s really good to know that people’s right to religious expression is supported in this way.

This thread has made me want to go back to church 😨I've got way too much Catholic guilt I'd have to deal with first though.

Catholic mass is only required on a sunday. The daily mass is different. It's a lot shorter as there are extra bits in the sunday one. Generally, the only people who go daily are super religious people, grannies of teenagers doing state exams and panicked students who are clutching at desperate straws because they didn't start studying in time.

@SomewhereEast I've never seen anyone wear a head scarf, but it used to be a thing in Ireland. It was on 'the way we were' a few weeks ago. I think it stopped in the 60s tho! So not exactly recent.

Only thing I can see that hasn't been said is, don't sit at the front, that way you can follow the rest of the congregation in sitting/ kneeling/ standing.

If your charge won't want communion just stay seated. If they do just go up and cross your arms for a blessing. Or stand back and nod/ gesture that you don't want communion

Oh dear, I might have to rely on my late Catholic relatives to put in good word for me at the pearly gates. I like to think my nan (RIP) would step up 😊

Blimey you lot are hysterical.

If you are accompanying someone who is disabled give the church a ring before hand and check what facilities there are and arrangements - access isn't always great and you might need to use a specific door or go and sit in a specific area and for communion the priest would come over to that area and bless or give communion to those disabled and their carers if they want to etc. If you don't want to just say "not for me Father thank you" Whatever their status there is no issue in calling them Father they all start off that way. A blessing is just a well wishing with a religious overtone, you don't have to be religious to get one so if you want one as others said cross your arms hand to each shoulder. If your friend hasn't taken first holy communion they should have a blessing only (if they want one) but if they regularly go to church the priest will likely know them anyway.

If its a full mass with singing - collect yourself a hymnal on the way in and there will be a board with song numbers on if you want to sing. They will be a weekly newsletter with notices and also likely to show readings and psalms and any responses. Handy for a read in the boring bits, or just a bit of origami - lol.

There is likely to be a bit of a social afterwards with a cuppa and a chat and you will be very welcome.

If your friend becomes too noisey or needs a quiet space you can usually go to the back which is often sectioned off from the main church but you can still hear what is going on and you can sit out there and generally there is a loo there although again accessibility isn't always the best. You can just get up and walk to the back no one will blink an eye

DH's family is Catholic (Irish). I'm atheist, but have accompanied him/them to Mass at various times over the years.

I don't genuflect, kneel or join in with any prayers, cross myself or do anything else, other than stand up and sit down, and nobody has noticed or cared, so don't worry OP.

@CornishGem1975
This thread has made me want to go back to church 😨I've got way too much Catholic guilt I'd have to deal with first though

If you want to go, just go and see what you think. I recognize the Catholic guilt thing but mine has dissipated over the years and I still go to church.
It's changed a lot since we were kids (I'm assuming from your username you were born in 1975 so same age as me). It's a lot more welcoming and open. Things are changing and still are.
There's no mention of death and judgement, heaven and hell these days.
And the devil coming to get you etc.....

Exactly.

Cover your shoulders. You won't get chance to explain at communion time so if you need to go up to support your client, just keep your head down and they will give you a blessing. And definitely don't take communion yourself!

When you arrive there is likely to be a greeter at the door. You can ask them if here are hymn books and Mass cards if it’s not obvious. Ours were removed for covid but are back again. Some churches won’t have them, or they may be on the pews, or you may be handed them when you get through the door. They might give you a printed bit of paper with the readings on. Find a seat and sit in it. Kick off is when the priest enters, usually with alter servers and a deacon. Everyone stands up and you sing the first hymn. You will just have to follow what other people are doing. Not everyone kneels - not everyone can- but most make a sort of pretend leaning forward kneel if they can’t. It’s probably a bit odd as a non-church goer but you may feel less awkward going along with it. There a few prayers (the I confess, the Our Father, the creed) and you can just stand while other people say them, and 3 readings . Some readers may come up to the front to do the first readings. The psalm may be sung and it will have a response so all of a sudden everyone around you will start saying something mad (if you have the readings on a sheet it’s on there). The priest or deacon reads the gospel after a bit of fuss, then delivers the homily, Then there is the “mass” bit. There is a bit of standing, sitting, kneeling. Someone rings a bell. The people on the alter get the bread and wine first and people will start standing up to get in line for communion. It might be a free for all or dignified and organised - just try to follow. Bread first and there may be more than one line. You can take your person up and they will receive it in their hand, say “amen” and put it in their mouth. At this point you can simply duck out of the queue and, if they want it, take them to the blood queue and they’ll drink from the chalice and you can walk them back to your seat where you sit quietly. It’s nearly over now. They’ll be another hymn, usually some announcements, then the final blessing and final hymn. The priest leaves during the final hymn and then people start to leave. The priest may be standing at the door shaking hands as you leave. There will be a ton of genuflecting and crossing of selves and nodding and it apparently feels quite odd to sit/stand/kneel quite so much. One women in my church wears a mantillas. I can’t not genuflect in a church, even if it’s Protestant or a ruin or the tabernacle isn’t there. It’s like not washing your hands after going to the loo. Just feels weird.

Just out of interest, what happens if you take communion in a Catholic church and you're not a Catholic?

If she was baptised/Christened in the CofE, most Baptist Churches or any other Christian denomination that shares commonality with the RC Church (essentially ones that agree on the concept of the Trinity, Baptism and the Creed + scripture), it's fine as Baptisms in those denominations are accepted as being the same in principle. And if she wasn't, as she was a child, the attitude tends to be she got a quick and ultimately disappointing snack whilst there, whereas the RC participants took part in a sacred rite. But it might be seen as 'a start'.

Adults are supposed to know this stuff and not do it. Kids, well, they're kids.

Of course, if you're an unbaptised Heathen like me you're already up if the bolt of lightning doesn't come through and the holy water doesn't make your face melt.

That bolt of lightning is definitely warming up for you.

Protestants are only allowed take catholic communion in extreme cases, such as when they are in danger of death. Think they may also need the bishop's approval though.

Catholics are not allowed communion in a protestant church, but that is a catholic, rather than a protestant, rule. There was a bit of a scandal years back in the 90's when the Irish president, a serious catholic, took protestant communion. Interestingly, she wasn't struck down by a bolt of lightning.

There's lots of joining in!

Stand up, sit down, kneel, stand, sit. Genuflect.

Kneeling as you're going into the isle and genuflecting at all the statues you'll probably get away without doing but others will.

The call and response stuff everyone else will know but will be written down on the instruction book too.

If you're moved to go up at communion time, go with your arms crossed in front of your chest, hands to opposite shoulders, and the priest will know you don't take communion but will give you a blessing.

Shake everyone's hand and say 'peace be with you' at the end. Do they still do that post covid? I don't know.

She's called Our Lady.

Also they love it if you ask for a vegetarian version when they talk about Lamb of God.

To be fair, some catholic priests are hilarious, and it's like standup in a big frock.

I go to mass frequently at a cathedral. Its considerably less formal than when I go to the local CofE church with a friend. I wear jeans, t-shirt and trainers. There are plenty of football kits/tops, ripped jeans etc in the congregation. People just wear what they intend to that day as usual. No one covers their hair. You don't need to kneel if you don't want to. No one is going to be paying any attention to what you are doing at all! If you don't want to give to the collection you don't have to. Basically just go with the flow!

I love this. It's also true. I was a practicing Catholic for the first 42 years of my life. How I regret it.

I jacked it in when one of my dc was born with a disability that also meant he couldn't control his noise. I found my fellow Catholics to be highly judgemental.

Thankfully I came to my senses and now have a lie in on a Sunday morning which is much nicer.

I thought you had to do it in a Catholic church. I've done it a wedding's and funerals in Protestant churches too, it's automatic.