No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

[notasresilientasIthought]

Except they can, can't they?
I met a local mum for a drink this week
She was telling me about her brilliant Dc who are at a local independent school and how they are doing so well etc etc
My head knows that she is quite self absorbed and that her children may be academically good but they aren't particularly kind.
But my heart and feelings have come away feeling like we are second best
Why can't I shake this feeeling?

This might not be a helpful response, but firstly someone is always going to be richer, more intelligent, kinder, better at sport than you/your kids so learning to accept yourself and your kids is a very good thing to do/practise.

Secondly if I'm unusually irked by something like this then I'll remind myself that no one's life is perfect, and she might be banging on about it because there's another area in her life that isn't making her happy (family, marriage, work etc).

Be happy for her and try to focus on your own triumphs. Comparison is the thief of joy.

They can but only if you give a fuck.

I find not giving a shit what they think about anything works a treat.

GAH.
Posted too soon!
Not giving a crap how they live is effective.

Being completely disinterested in the lives of randoms solves the problem.

Everyone has their problems though.

I’ve found in life that those who shout the loudest about everything being great are sometimes masking some horrible realities and just want to live a fantasy for a bit to make themselves feel better.

Then again, there are just some people with charmed lives out there too.

Have a drink with me next time, ten mins of listening to takes of my white life, you’d feel amazing about yours.

Why the fuck is it randomly posting?

Basically your consent isn't really the right word.
Interest in them is probably a better way to put it.

Nobody can make you feel inferior if you don't give a shit about them. 😁

takes of my white life = tales of my shite life.

Far fingers strike again.

Because something inside you already thought you were second best, and all she did was confirm it, by being an external source to validate it.

And that's why you gave her consent to make you feel that way; because you think she's right.

Time to work on a different response, OP: What would the worlds most confident person have done in your situation? How would they be feeling right now? I've found it helpful to imagine someone I know (in real life, or from the TV) who's ridiculously confident, and then think of what they'd do/think/feel in this situation.

She wasn't making you feel inferior though, she was just telling you about her kids. Your insecurities made you feel inferior.

Gosh.
Yes. You are probably right about this, too.
😔

This.

I've never forgotten one mum I know. FB perfect in every way. She's a photographer so it's all gorgeous. I was at a parenting event after years of this and she was in tears saying how dreadful it all was and how she couldn't cope.

Stop comparing the inside of your life with the outside of someone else's.

I will try and think about this, for next time.
It didn't help that she didn't let me get word in edge ways with all her tales of how brilliant her children are.
So I wasn't able to counter.
My head is definitively able to distinguish this but my emotions are still taking a beating.
Maybe it's plain old jealousy

It's a cracking quote, one of my faves.

I saw an interesting clip on IG of Salma Hayek saying that if she ranted the most terrible insults at you in Spanish, it would be meaningless no matter how cruel, or how harshly she said them. Whereas the same words in English would hurt. Essentially words are just that, and only the listener dictates the impact. As someone who can be sensitive I liked that clip!

@DarleneSnell

That's a good way to see it. They're essentially just sounds coming out of someone's face!

I hate the saying 'comparison is the thief of joy'. Its just wanky and bullocks. I've never met anyone who hasn't ever compared themselves to someone else and found themselves wanting. Its happened to us all.

That's literally what it means though. You're agreeing with it.

And we all do it. It's worth saying that you can work on it though.