Worst wedding you've been to?

[Clawdy]

My worst wedding memory was when DH's cousin got married. He was reluctant to go, and said it might get rough....It did, rather! Drunk old Uncle Wilf fell down the steps and broke his leg, and the bridegroom had to be restrained from attacking his new MIL with a bottle of wine! DH's mum chided his brother for not going, saying "You missed a lovely wedding! "

@FlipFlopBattle I love the idea of a website i can add timings to so that people know what the order of the day will be. That's going to be easy to text around a link.
And delegating - I've one SIL who doesn't have a role in the wedding, is organised and assertive and I'm sure she would be happy to help me keep an eye on timings for me.

@TalkingCat Not in the UK either so why would I have an English style wedding? The format I've described is the norm here in Ireland. Here, it's common to have guests for ceremony+reception dinner, and then if you've colleagues/ acquaintances they generally drop in for a night out of dancing and finger food if they are around, it's not a formal invite where you'd expect an rsvp and you'd certainly not expect a gift of any kind. You'd be going in after your own dinner so you wouldn't expect food until the cake, sandwiches and hot buffet comes out at 10.30 or so to keep you going.

The place I'm having the wedding is a small island with one venue. Considering that I'm blowing in for two nights it seems rather rude to boot residents out of their own local for the duration so the bar will be thers as they wish and after the meal, they are more than welcome to drift in to the reception hall, grab a drink and food and party with us as they wish.

I don't know why Irish weddings evolved that way but I suspect family size plays a lot into it. It's not uncommon to have 10+ siblings between both families, and when you count those, spouses, kids, then just aunties and uncles, some cousins plus a few family friends/neighbours of your parents, you could easily be looking at 150+ so very often your own wider circle of people you know just can't be invited - particularly if parents help pay a chunk of the wedding and therefore also therefore wield clout on the guest list.

I've never seen a split invite in Ireland. That's when you invite people to the (free) ceremony to fill the church nicely for your photos then expect them to prick around for several hours to return then for a bit of finger food having missed out on the main meal. You'd get torn to shreds in Ireland if you did that and rightly so. I think my mother would disown me.

Heatwave and reception was on top floor of venue so baking hot. Stuck on table with “minor guests”, despite being closely related to one of the couple. All the decent food had gone by the time our table was called up to the hot buffet. DP left something in the table and one of the “minor guests” stole it. Top table was a farce with a casual “friend with benefits” of one of the parents taking the place of the other parent. Super posh parents of one of the couple showed true colours after getting g at the alcohol. Absolute farce.

Went to my partners friends wedding and I didn't know it was a low key wedding and I turned up all dressed up with my toddler son looking more dressed up than the bride 🙈. I felt so bad and everyone kept coming to us to say how nice my son’s outfit was 🤦🏽‍♀️. I felt like hiding under the table. It was a lovely wedding but not for me it was uncomfortable.

I don't get the angst about evening invites.

Our day guests were people we were close to. Our evening guests were second cousin types.

They got the same free bar and copious buffet as the day guests, could come up easily on the day (we got married in the centre of the UK as our guests were scattered to the four corners), and got to enjoy a fully catered family catch up without having to chivvy unwilling children through the day stuff.

I love an evening invite. The worst part of a wedding is getting all fligged up for a party at 10am then faffing your way to the venue to be there on time. Much nicer to come later.

The worst part of a wedding is getting all fligged up for a party at 10am then faffing your way to the venue to be there on time.

Or, you could hold the ceremony at 3pm/4pm like it is done in other countries, and just have the one reception like normal people in other countries. Having a wedding at 10am or even 11am is insane.

@TalkingCat i tried to have my wedding at 3pm. Civil ceremony at the hotel so no leaving it. Hotel would let me they wanted it at 1pm or half 1. I was like why ? Ceremony is half an hour tops i don't want the long hanging around till dinner at 6. We managed to compromise for half 2 - i plan on being late though :). It is my pet hate that any wedding we are invited to is at 1pm in a church middle of no where. We have another wedding which it at 12pm ( And yes i know we can say no but when they are good friends or close relatives we cant really nor want to ) I have now actually refused to go to the church - something i would have thought i would never do. 3pm or 4pm weddings just dont seem to be the norm here , though i have never heard of a 10am one :)

Hotel would let me they wanted it at 1pm or half 1. I was like why ?

over heads for the hotel probably? Get people buying drinks earlier in the day and probably get more money from you as well for room hire. Lots of money to be made in weddings.

Our wedding was at 12pm but that was a compromise with a Covid re-arrangement. It was due to be a few hours later originally. Registrars do multiple weddings per day and have set hours. We were warned NOT to be late as they won't hang around!

I did feel bad about a 12pm wedding, but made sure there wasn't too much hanging around and that people were well fed and watered in between the ceremony and the wedding breakfast. No-one moaned that it was boring or too long, but of course they might have been moaning behind my back! We only had a few formal photos with the whole group so we were with the guests the whole of the time and in my mind it absolutely flew by.

I think a later ceremony, in hindsight, would have felt a bit more rushed. The only knock on effect we found was that people called it a day a bit earlier, but as I'd been too excited to sleep the night before I wasn't sorry for an early night!

Or, you could hold the ceremony at 3pm/4pm like it is done in other countries, and just have the one reception like normal people in other countries

There have been multiple people from different countries who have commented that the norm is to have day and evening guests in their country yet you still seem to insist it’s a solely British thing. And even if it was, so what? It’s so ignorant to tell people a cultural norm isn’t “normal” because it’s not what they do where you’re from.

Definitely agree about 3pm and am delighted am invited to one in a few weeks at 3.30pm. Friends not relatives but same invite for everyone. Also stipulation of no presents. Am going to find a gift that is not weddingy but nice personal thing for them both. Two men, if that makes a difference.
I do think the morning wedding is part of the bride making her day a whole day…

Morning weddings are sometimes just because that's when your wedding can be fitted in on the day in question.
I had a time limit on when I could get married (years ago, not COVID related at all) and the date I wanted, for many reasons, didn't have any later times at the registry office than 11:30am. So that's what I had to do. I would infinitely have preferred to have had it at about 2pm, but wasn't an option. Luckily the reception venue were very good about spacing out timings and so on, so the day was pretty relaxed - but I'd had to get up at 6am to get everything ready, so quite honestly I would have MUCH preferred to have been able to have a 2pm ceremony!!

Decided on a Thursday to get married the following Saturday registry office had a cancellation at 9:20. The few family members we wanted to be there all came, put £50 behind the bar at the local pub, all over by 12:00, everyone enjoyed themselves, that was of course early 70s

just got an invite in the post for a wedding. 3pm. did a little dance. means can still get up at a decent time. hair make up not too early travel to it and allow time for a nice lunch stop on the way. oh and himself can work that morning too. won't be flaking by 9pm like normally am with tiredness. I get some people are restricted but there are lots of other options now these days

I was thinking £50 that must have lasted 30 min!!!

Did go to an 11 am wedding recently (covid rebook so limited availability.) was lovely service 11-12 then drinks and photos. Food/speech's 130-330. Dancing started about 5 😂 finished at 12. Tbf I was drunk by 4pm but definitely a fun wedding think sometimes it depends on the company.

,Not me but my daughter attended her ex partners dads wedding where the dad vomited all over the dance floor

My boyfriend's sister's wedding. (I was in my 20's)

They were a catholic family. I was invited but had to sit at the back of the church on my own during the ceremony as I was not 'family'.

Then we had to wait many hours before getting any food. I was so hungry by the time a got a minuscule bread roll (and drunk)

Boyfriend's family did not like me....

Our wedding was at 3.30pm 30 odd years ago.

DS's was at 3.30pm a couple of years ago.

I have been to countless 2.30/3pm/3.30pm/4pm weddings in the UK from the early 80s until the present. It's perfectly the norm. I guess it might be easier if you have a pre-existing relationship with the church and some agency over the venue.

not the normal here unfortunately been to about 50 weddings ( ireland) if its a church always at 1 -actually had some that's half 12. civil ceremonies are around 2. when I had my wedding wanted it a 3 where was having the civil ceremony battled with the wedding coordinator as they kept saying no you can't have it at 3 it needs to be 2 at the latest. we compromised after a long debate for half 2

The vicar was very happy to accommodate our preferred time thirty odd years ago and also avoided any other weddings that afternoon although I suspect the £250 donation helped

No wedding planners, no wedding location. Just the church and a tent in the garden.

We went to DH's cousins wedding and there was his mum, 2 brothers and then me, DH and DH's brother. It would have been fine except they had "reserved for family" signs on loads of seats and so nobody sat in the front three or four rows on the groom's side except the abovementioned. There were so many empty seats! They'd done their wedding a bit weirdly and had two ceremonies so maybe the rest of his family were invited to the other ceremony. It was weird though. It was a good wedding and they're still happily married but the empty seats were a bit awkward.

@mycatallowsmetolivehere omg you win

I have only been to one wedding that I didn't enjoy. It was in the late 1970s when I was still at school. The bride was a colleague from the hotel where I had a part time job.

She was pregnant and her parents had insisted on the marriage. There was hardly anyone there, which is why I went along (just to the church, not to the reception). Indeed there may not even have been a reception, as it was all being done as quietly and cheaply as possible

Even now there are two things I particularly remember: first, how unhappy both the bride and groom looked, and second the unkind comments by the hotel manager about the bride's outfit, which I suspect was second hand. It was all very sad.

My brother's first wedding. We were very close, and when I saw him watching his bride walk down the aisle I just knew he didn't want to be there. I just felt incredibly sad for him and her for the rest of the day. They divorced four years later.

@Fifthtimelucky That’s so sad, it’s crazy to think that as late as the 1970’s, couples were still pushed into marriage when a baby was on the way. It happened to one of my friends’ parents back then, although luckily they were happy to get married and they’re still together. But the family pressure to get married was immense.