Worst wedding you've been to?

[Clawdy]

My worst wedding memory was when DH's cousin got married. He was reluctant to go, and said it might get rough....It did, rather! Drunk old Uncle Wilf fell down the steps and broke his leg, and the bridegroom had to be restrained from attacking his new MIL with a bottle of wine! DH's mum chided his brother for not going, saying "You missed a lovely wedding! "

@Drinkingallthewine, sounds like you've really thought it through and it's going to be a great wedding for all!

A couple of things that don't always get mentioned in wedding planning articles:

INFO: Most guests are happy to go along with whatever the couple has chosen for their day (with the understandable exception of some of the bizarre goings-on discussed on this thread...), as long as they know what to expect. If there's a cash bar, meals are at unusual times, footwear for a field is needed, there's no evening entertainment, no kids or whatever, that's the couple's choice: just let people know upfront so they can plan ahead, or decline if they have a problem with something.

TIMINGS: Lets guests plan kids' nap times, medication, meals or snacks, taxis etc. It's often not finalised at the stage invitations go out; we got round this by having the basic information in the invitations and including the URL for a one page 'site', so that nearer the time we could put the complete running order of the day - welcome drinks / ceremony / photos / canapes / meal / disco / last dance etc, along with other useful info for the day, and edit if needed.

DELEGATE: Unless you have someone acting as wedding planner, the bride is often the only one who knows exactly what's meant to happen when. This could mean:
-Everything runs like clockwork, but the bride is constantly checking timings, and can't relax.
-Bride gets caught up in the emotions / photo marathon / alcohol, and completely loses track of time, which probably accounts for many comments here about late food and long periods where guests are wandering around aimlessly.

Ask some trusted friends/family nicely in advance to take on a task or two each, write the whole plan down, and give them a copy each. If one person knows who you want in formal photos for example, they can go and hunt out the bride's extended family, or the groom's mates, shortly before they're needed and that saves a LOT of faffing around. An outgoing friend could be asked to go round asking everyone to write a memory in your guest book if you're doing that, or to look out for people who appear to be on their own, and spend some time chatting to them, or introducing them to others. Make sure you then thank any helpers profusely; it's not their 'duty' to do so just because they're your sister, bridesmaid or whatever!

IT'S YOUR DAY 1: It might be one of the most meaningful days in your life (although you'll probably realise later that there are many more meaningful days to come, and you got suckered into the whole bridezilla thing a teeeny bit more than you expected...), but to everyone else it's a wedding. They'll hopefully enjoy themselves, but someone may be shattered from work, someone may have just split from their partner and not be the life and soul of the party, someone may have a sick kid on the day and not able to come. That's just life.

IT'S YOUR DAY 2: It's so busy and emotional, it rushes by in a blur. Try and take a few minutes for the two of you to sit quietly somewhere, watch everyone enjoying themselves and savour the moment, as hopefully you will not have to organise something like this EVER again 😋.

In Switzerland. I was 5 weeks pregnant so couldn't drink but wasn't explaining. I was so tired. It went on all day and evening and there was lots and lots of compulsory Organised Fun. Dressing up in silly moustaches and hats for photo booth shots, that kind of thing. I Needed A Drink. I didn't have one but I did go and nap in FIL's car for an hour when it got too much.

Just decline.

Separating guests into those worthy of the breakfast and those who only merit the "evening do" is so beyond chavvy.

Better to have an intimate wedding with free bar and generous hospitality than some Tier A/Tier B circus where you're figuring the cost of every last mouthful.
And making "guests" aka "the audience " stand around uncomfortably for hours is beyond the pale.

If one doesn't want to spend on guests' comfort and enjoyment, why not elope??

@weddingwaiting that depends on what it is and how it's stored. Eg Chicken sandwiches clingfilmed for three days at room temp 🤢

Not been to any really bad ones but the wedding where we were invited to the church then evening reception (we’re in Scotland) and sent the gift registry details. We assumed all the other friends in our group would be in the same boat so dutifully bought a gift, went to the church then proposed going to the pub after the ceremony, only to find that they had all been invited to the full day. We shouldn’t have bothered turning up to the evening after that but we did, and had to buy our own drinks then the only food was bacon butties and I don’t eat meat.

The 5pm meal was entirely seafood (the bride's father had a seafood business). No vegetarian option for the multiple vegetarians. Thankfully a chip van was booked...for 11pm.

The handful of guests from abroad were offered a free place to sleep at the groom's family's home. What they avoided mentioning is that it was some way from the reception venue, and the 'shuttle' bus would only drive once... At 4am, after the bride and groom had taken down the decorations themselves in an effort to save money.

@Drinkingallthewine and @NannyOggsWhiskyStash How about just have the ceremony and the one reception, like other normal countries do? What is with the UK and their obsession with insulting second-tier weddings? It must cost a lot to hold not one but two receptions, when most normal people in normal western countries had the ceremony (normally about 3 or 4pm) then the reception. That's it.

In an unheated barn in Nov.
No atmosphere
Speeches went on for 4 HOURS!!!!
Vegetarian meal - which I'm absolutely fine with and prefer, but it was like school dinners served careen style. I doubt any meat eaters will ever eat veggie again based on that meal.
Was the longest day of my life.
The bride and groom looked happy and are still together so alls well that ends well!

Agree about the weird awfulness of two tier weddings seen from other perspectives. In Australia there is typically a late afternoon ceremony followed by drinks, a meal, speeches and dancing. Everyone is invited to the whole thing. I would have found it really hard and offensive to divide our friends and families into two classes.

I am not in the UK, I am in Holland, so the daytime dinner is for family and close friends, and the evening reception is for colleagues and friends, there is no gap in between, and this way suits our budget, as it's quite a big wedding, we know a lot of people

But why don't you have the one reception with everyone? Surely that would be cheaper, too. It's all so very, very odd.

Where I am people don't invite everyone they know. Only close family and close friends. Colleagues not normally invited unless very close. In some of these countries people seem to invite every man and his dog, no matter how well they know him.

Maybe that's the difference.

This thread I can't top any of these stories so will keep my tales of slightly dull weddings and crappy food to myself.

I must say, though, I've been to countless weddings in both England and Scotland and have never come across the split invitation thing. Or the male and female separate catering!

TBH while the split invite sounds very rude, I'd possibly be more gutted to have to watch my DH eat a chocolate cake while I nibbled on a fruit salad.

If I got a fruit salad and my husband got a chocolate cake you can bet I'd be insisting we go halves on both!

I have never heard of male/female catering. If I was served fish and fruit salad while the men tucked into roast beef and chocolate cake there would be ructions....big big ructions .Only heard one one split wedding a few years ago when I babysat for my niece while my sister went to one. It sounded pretty grim as she had to spend several hours in a town she didn't know, trying to kill time

The different food thing is mad! Apart from anything else, women are famous for loving chocolate - I mean I realise not all do, but anyone who thinks you can give the men chocolate cake in front of the women who are not getting any, and that that will go down well, has not met many women.

I'm so glad my wedding was nothing like any of these and it was 20 years ago. 3pm ceremony, champagne Bellinis after, with canapés. We only had a few photographs with family as wanted them to be mostly reportage (cringe but that's what it was called back then) so no one noticed. Stepped outside a few times to have more 'formal' photos but again I doubt anyone noticed.
Wedding dinner was melon and Parma ham, bangers and mash with vegetarians and vegans catered for. Served at 5pm. Unlimited wine on tables.
Paid bar all day and night.
Party till midnight. We then paid for 4 mini buses to take our guests home. One friend, very drunk, sadly broke his ankle getting off the bus!

The only time I went to a wedding where that happened, the men on the table all speedily offered to share their food, so obviously most sane people do know this... it's a very strange idea.

It’s not a UK thing. It happens in England, not in Scotland or Ireland, although I don’t know about Wales

See, this is a normal wedding in Scotland.

3 pm service then photos, drinks, dinner.

then around 7 or half past, evening guests arrive.

entertainment starts, whatever that may be.

9 pm buffet

night finishes, anything between midnight and breakfast.

I didn’t go to this, but it was a partner’s ex boss’s wedding. The wedding breakfast consisted of hundreds of single boxes of Dominoes Pizzas. Classy AF.

Absolutely loving this thread. So many good stories.

Another I went to - a destination wedding with DH’s family. MIL booked the holiday rental and it was enormous but filthy with no air con and cockroaches.

The wedding was an hour drive away, and it was swelteringly hot and started at midday so we hadn’t eaten lunch. It was a catholic wedding so it felt like it took HOURS. MIL went on to insult the bride, saying she had “back fat” (she did not) and generally bitching about everything and throwing the word “tacky” around (it wasn’t). (MIL is a quite Hyacinth Bucket type - and considering the shitty accommodation she booked, she was one to talk!).

We then stood outside in the full sun for hours while the bride and groom got their photos taken - no food and no drinks! Everyone was so thirsty and so hungry. The venue wouldn’t give us a drop until the bride and groom arrived.

When the b&g arrived and the venue did give us something to drink, I was so hungry that one glass of Prosecco got me drunk! Meant I was exhausted really early and we left halfway through the dancing. Felt like a bit of a party pooper.

The couple have recently got divorced, which is a shame as I really liked the bride but my DH is friends with the groom so I don’t suppose I’ll see her again.

I don't understand how a three day wedding would actually work? Assuming you have the ceremony, wedding breakfast and evening do on day one, what do you do on the other two days??

I don’t know anyone who finds the two tier of day invites and evening invites insulting. I can see from another culture maybe it’s odd if you don’t have it but then likewise maybe something you do would seem odd.

The alternative would be not to invite some people if you’re just having those invites at the meal which could be potentially more insulting to those who don’t get an invite at all.

Why don't you invite only family and friends you are close to? Not colleagues and the neighbours and the hairdresser and the associates?

That's what most normal people. You only have family and close friends. That's where you're going wrong. It's cheaper, and more personal. It's a wedding for family and close friends. Not a neighbourhood block party.