Kids away at their dad's this weekend for the first time.

[GingeryLemons]

I feel so conflicted. A free and quiet weekend! And every other weekend in future! In theory this is amazing.

But they belong with me, really. 😣

Is it a recent break up then? How old are they?

I think in time you will appreciate the break even if it doesn’t feel like it now

Not recent no, just a long drawn out family court experience. They are primary school aged, and were very excited to go. I made all the right noises and smiled and waved goodbye, but their father isn't the best person (mildly put) and not my first choice for childcare. Sigh.

I feel you op. I don’t think I will ever not feel anxious when they’re with him. Even sometimes when it gets to “his” weekend I am tired and ready for a little break, I still feel anxious without them. Solidarity. It’s shit and I hope it will get better.

Yes. It's just shit all around really.

It gets easier but it is still hard. Mine are older now so I often have 1 or 2 at home as they have other plans, whilst the others go to dads. I crave the peace and then hate it when it comes. I still sometimes get into bed and put the duvet over my head to block out the world and all the happy families

Totally identify with this! Craving a bit of peace and then missing them so much when they're gone 😩 My youngest is 6 and misses me so much I can't bear it.
I always try to plan nights out etc when they go to take my mind off it.