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Original poster

I've just had the sadest thought...

131 replies

Zippidy123 · 05/05/2022 21:27

...that one day my family and I will all be separated, we'll all be dead. Not just 1 or 2 of us but all of us, all of this will be gone forever. I wish I believed in heaven!

I dont know why I've only just thought of that now. I've sometimes thought of individuals dying-my parents are in their 70's now but one day my DH, DB, SIL, PIL, all the DC will all be gone. Its mind blowing really!

OP posts:
LizzieSiddal · 05/05/2022 21:28

Yes. Most of us have a very small part to play in the grand scheme of things but we are very lucky to have that chance.

Vallmo47 · 05/05/2022 21:29

Yes I’ve often envied religious people for this reason OP but once you have died you are sleeping peacefully and that’s comforting to know.

Try not to think about the inevitable. We can’t change this fact. 💕

StopStartStop · 05/05/2022 21:30

You won't be separated. You'll be united. Your body will either go to ash or into the ground, and either way you will remain in the universe. And so will they. It's ok.

bloodywhitecat · 05/05/2022 21:30

It's the one guarantee in life is death.

Blueberrywitch · 05/05/2022 21:33

@StopStartStop that’s lovely x

Stichintime · 05/05/2022 21:34

Thats the deal I'm afraid.

Fantina · 05/05/2022 21:35

It also blows my mind if I think too much about it. So many of us live as if we’ve got forever.

Another weird thought is that if things go in the right order and I very much hope they do, I won’t know how my children’s lives progress and end after I’m gone. It’s a sad thing to imagine them being around without me to look after them.

StopStartStop · 05/05/2022 21:35

Blueberrywitch · 05/05/2022 21:33

@StopStartStop that’s lovely x

It works for me!

StopStartStop · 05/05/2022 21:37

There's a Zen blessing isn't there... 'Father dies, son dies, grandson dies.' Because it's a great thing if everyone goes in the right order, and terrible if they don't. @Fantina

Original poster
Zippidy123 · 05/05/2022 21:39

It's a terrible thought though isn't it and I was thinking of who will be the last to go but then hopefully they'll have new loved ones to support them.

I suffer terribly with anxiety and actually thoughts like this make it a bit less, it just puts it into perspective that all the things I'm anxious about really mean Jack shit in the grand scheme of things.

I dont believe in heaven but I do believe in energy transfer, as StopStartStop said, our energy will still be in the universe but we'll never all meet again.

I'm thinking of my nana too who lived until she was 97. She would have seen her parents, siblings, all her friends all die. She was the oldest of her generation. She never once talked about it though, how do toy live with so much loss and grief? Maybe it effects you less as you get older and she still had her DC and DGC.

OP posts:
Fantina · 05/05/2022 21:40

Yes exactly, @StopStartStop. and of course I want it to be in the right order.

I also imagine if we live to old age the thought of going might not seem so overwhelming and scary - I expect I’ll be so very tired (I’m already pretty exhausted)

ZenNudist · 05/05/2022 21:42

Apparently it comes round real quickly even if you have a long life.

Also one day you will be completely forgotten because you will be dead, and everyone who ever knew you will be dead. You'd have to be of major geopolitical significance to be remembered and even then the Thatchers and Blairs and Johnsons will merge and be unimportant dry names in a history book.

Original poster
Zippidy123 · 05/05/2022 21:43

Fantina I know when my friends mum died at a relatively young age she was very upset at the thought of dying without knowing what her very young grand children would go on to do with their lives. It's the right order though isn't it, you wouldn't want it any other way. I think it would just be nice to see them settled and happy, fully fledged adults with their own support system.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 05/05/2022 21:44

But your children and your neices and nephews if you have them, will still carry on, and their children, and grandchildren and so the generations keep going

ZenNudist · 05/05/2022 21:45

I don't think it's terrible. It's just life.

Original poster
Zippidy123 · 05/05/2022 21:45

ZenNudist yes a couple of generations and no one remembers you or knows much about you. I know nothing about my great grandparents. I've no idea where they're buried.

OP posts:
iggybop · 05/05/2022 21:46

You won't know anything about it

Death is one fact you can be absolutely sure of

LondonQueen · 05/05/2022 21:47

How depressing.

Fidodidit · 05/05/2022 21:48

I like the idea that the very fact that I am on the earth means I am an unbroken line back to the primordial ooze, I must be. That blows my mind a bit.

Fantina · 05/05/2022 21:48

I think it is why we work so hard for our DC to be independent, so they do have their own lives and can thrive even after we are gone.

Original poster
Zippidy123 · 05/05/2022 21:48

ZenNudist You're right and I wouldn't want to live forever anyway, not sure I want to be dead though either!

It's not so much my own death, it's the thought of everyone I currently love being dead. Just a whole family as it currently stands, gone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zippidy123 · 05/05/2022 21:49

Fidodidit I like that!!

OP posts:
Youwiththeglasses · 05/05/2022 21:51

What a cheerful topic.

KaraVanPark · 05/05/2022 21:52

At some point no one will know I ever existed.

Beachsidesunset · 05/05/2022 21:58

'The powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a part.'