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Original poster

DC(9) on a residential trip, no photos of her. Should I contact to see if she’s ok?!

80 replies

OuchLegoHurtsMyFeet · 05/05/2022 12:22

DC is on a residential trip with school this week at an outdoor active centre. First trip away from home, and she can get a little anxious sometimes.

There’s a parent App that’s being used to keep us all updated, as the only means of contact whilst they are away. Must be around 100 photos have gone up this week, and tomorrow is the last day, including large group photos.

not one single photo with my DC in it. I’ve seen her best friend on the pics, and she is nowhere to be seen. I’m getting worried(I could be hormonal as I’m pregnant).

Should I contact the teacher through the App to ask how she is doing? It’s lovely to see the other kids, but I’d love just one photo, even if it’s the back of her head so I can see she is doing ok!

OP posts:
VeganVampire · 05/05/2022 12:57

Could she be spending time with a child that can't be photographed?

girlmom21 · 05/05/2022 13:01

SeaToSki · 05/05/2022 12:52

Tip for the next trip, tell then you will pay them a pound for every photo they are in. Worked every time with my dc and otherwise they would duck every photo as they had to stand around and wait while it was taken

I thought you meant you bribed a teacher for a minute Grin

ReadyToMoveIt · 05/05/2022 13:04

SniggleSnarf · 05/05/2022 12:56

Everyone's being a bit harsh...

I would worry too - hope you get some more pics today

I don’t think anyones being ‘harsh’. No one has said anything aggressive or horrible. Just giving their opinion.

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hedgehogger1 · 05/05/2022 13:13

Is she best buds with someone who doesn't have permission? I had the same thing very recently. The teachers just couldn't upload photos that contained specific kids.

Crunchymum · 05/05/2022 13:19

My 9yo went away for a 5 day / night residential in March and there was not a single picture of him. By day 3 I was itching to contact the school and ask where the Hell he was (there were a few group picture and I counted the kids, I swear he was then only one missing)

He doesn't love photos but wouldn't actively refuse to be in one.

Day 4 I finally spotted the back of his head in a picture Grin

I think he was hidden in a few of the group pics and was in the loo for another etc...

So all was fine.

I was so bloody glad to have him home though.

bumpermom · 05/05/2022 16:21

I would find that worrying too, I don't think you're being hormonal. Of course if anything sinister had happened they would have been in contact but I would also have every irrational thought run through my head. Its called being a mum. I would imagine dropping a quick message couldn't hurt.

Hbh17 · 05/05/2022 16:30

Ffs, this is why it's a ridiculous idea to have photos of a school trip. Of course they're all OK! Doesn't everyone just long for the days when kids went off on a trip & nobody had any contact until the bus rolled back a week later? That's how kids (& parents) learnt how to be independent.

sickofthisnonsense · 05/05/2022 16:44

Does she mode her picture being taken?

I did a yearbook for the primary leavers. The school and parents have me a load of photos to go through.
One kids was in nearly every picture, there were 3 I had none of at all. They'd been at all the events and trips since reception but had just avoided the camera the whole 7 years. I had to go in and make a point of getting some of them playing with their mates

JuneOsborne · 05/05/2022 16:47

Well, it's weird that's she not in one of 100 photos, that's for sure! And I think it'd make anyone worry!

Drop them a message.

JollyWilloughby · 05/05/2022 16:51

OP I would worry too. Give them a message.

MargaretThursday · 05/05/2022 17:05

I do think that the photos cause as much worry as reassurance for parents, and think they may be better not doing them.

I've had 3 dc go through various trips and residentials. There were two times where I had a situation where my child wasn't in a photo and I was a bit worried.

  1. They'd taken a picture of every dorm sitting on their beds smiling. The dorms had four children in, and there was only one dorm with only 3, and I knew it was dd's dorm because I could see her duvet cover
  2. I knew it was ds' group, and on one day there were several pictures of them in and out of the sea, then a big one at the end with them all soggy (and very grim). I was a bit worried because all his friends were there too.
With 2. I asked ds, and he had asked not to go in the sea, and it had been really cold. His friends had all gone in and were absolutely frozen and miserable by the end, but they couldn't take them back up to get changed early as they had to all go together. They all said it was the worst thing they'd done/ Ds had spent the time with another group doing something he absolutely loved, but had left just before the end to get hot chocolate with his own group and (in his words) "I enjoyed drinking it, they just wanted to get warm". So he was both smug and happy with his choice. And had missed the group photo with both groups.

With 1 it wasn't as good. She wasn't in the dorm picture because the other children in the dorm had told her they didn't want her there so she had spent the time when the others were in the dorm downstairs on her own. I was cross with the school for not thinking "hang on, ever other child is in the dorm, maybe there's a problem here, let's check out what's happening". And also dd said that while she was downstairs several of the teachers saw her down there and not one thought to stop and ask why she was reading on the floor in the entrance hall.

I wouldn't contact the school. They'll tell you she's fine whatever, and she's back tomorrow. It could be worth putting in feedback later just to say that your dc wasn't in any photos. I think between dd and ds someone had done that because with ds they made sure every group had a group photo each day, so you would all get 5 photos at least.

I also noticed that in day school trips they always seemed to only take one camera and one teacher with it. So there would always be tonnes of photos of some children and only occasional ones of the others. One of mine tended to be in every photo, one was a mixture and one never was in.
On average the "spirited" ones were more likely to be with the teacher who didn't have the camera (too much else to do!), and the "never going to do anything wrong" group would be with a parent helper, so also not have the camera, so it was the middle ones who got the photos, which, as they tend to be the forgotten group, perhaps is quite nice.

Benjispruce4 · 05/05/2022 17:08

If she wasn’t ok, you’d have heard op. Photos are random at our school and depends who has the iPad, which child is in which group etc. Try to work on your anxiety as your attitude will run off on to your daughter.

Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople · 05/05/2022 17:14

When I used to do residentials, or just even general trips, I used to try and ensure that I posted a picture of every child at least once. Someone I went on a residential with actually had a cross off list, so that she knew she had posted pics of everyone! The other thing that happens is the adult in certain groups is super keen with the camera and so there are lots of a particular group, and another adult isn't quite a good at taking lots of photos so there are hardly any of another group.

She is obviously absolutely fine, they would have told you if anything else was the case. But you are not wrong to feel sad/worried about it and I think you would be within your rights to just send a message asking about at least 1 photo. 100 photos and not one with her in it is a bit shit!

BiggerBoat1 · 05/05/2022 17:21

Please don't contact the school. In the nicest possible way, you don't want to be that Mum that they have a little giggle about. You DD is probably just in a group where the leader doesn't happen to have the school Ipad/Camera.

There are constant head counts on a school trip so they won't have accidently mislaid her! If she was unwell or seriously upset someone would have contacted you.

Thistooshallpsss · 05/05/2022 17:22

I think the internet has made things harder we had to just wave them off and wait until they came back. I sent letters but that was all. No phone calls we all just managed.

Harridan1981 · 05/05/2022 17:25

None of the schools that I have worked in would mind a message in any way shape or form.

Onwards22 · 05/05/2022 17:41

Could she be spending time with a child that can't be photographed?

This would make a lot of sense.

I would message and just ask if she is ok to put your mind at rest but I definitely wouldn’t mention the lack of photos.

Mischance · 05/05/2022 17:46

No news is good news and all that .... hope she has had a great time .... I am sure she has.

KaraVanPark · 05/05/2022 17:47

if anything’s happened they’d have been in touch. Get it’s disappointing it to see your child in a pic but it’s not something I’d message her teacher about

BigSandyBalls2015 · 05/05/2022 17:54

You would have been informed OP if there was an issue.

in a couple of years she’ll prob be on foreign residential with school/guides etc

jgw1 · 05/05/2022 18:00

Hbh17 · 05/05/2022 16:30

Ffs, this is why it's a ridiculous idea to have photos of a school trip. Of course they're all OK! Doesn't everyone just long for the days when kids went off on a trip & nobody had any contact until the bus rolled back a week later? That's how kids (& parents) learnt how to be independent.

I thought that was how trips still worked?
Am I being very neglectful getting on with my life and not looking at photos of my DC who I see lots of anyway?

Winkydink · 05/05/2022 18:06

My DC guidance for his camp next week specifically asks parents not to contact them if they don’t see their DC in photos. I thought WTF? But now having read the OP and some responses here, I now get why that reassurance is necessary!

BreakfastRaclette · 05/05/2022 18:08

Exactly the same happened to me a few years ago. I was a bit of a wreck, but you have to remember, it's a military style operation, these trips and they'll be doing head counts very reguarly.

As others have said, no news is certainly good news, but I don't see the harm in dropping a message. If you just thought she looked a little sad in a photo or something, then yes, the school might think you're a bit neurotic, but I think you have a decent reason to want clarity that she's ok.

I'm sure she is though OP 🙂

Disneyblueeyes · 05/05/2022 18:33

I'm struggling to understand why people are saying 'I would worry too'. About what exactly? What exactly do you think has happened that the teachers have failed to inform you about?

Bexlily · 05/05/2022 18:47

When my DD went on her we didn't see any pics of her either, turns out she didn't want to be in any pics so took them instead. I'm sure your DD will be fine and is having a fabulous time.

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