School residential- yes or no

[dogsandcoffee]

Hi all

I posted before asking for advice re my sons school residential- old thread here. www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4375729-School-being-unsympathetic-over-year-6-residential

Things have moved on a bit since then and I wanted to get your opinions on what to do.

The school went into overdrive when they heard ds was unsure about going- they talked the trip up a lot and as a consequence he decided he might want to go. We decided to pay the deposit and see what happened.

about a month ago we went to have a meeting with the headteacher to discuss ds’ food needs and how the place could cater for him. (he has several allergies). We were told that if kids don’t eat much then it’s ok and they’ll fill up when they come back! Also that ds could just have a jacket potato to eat. Seeing as he can’t have butter, cheese or tuna Mayo tho (cos of his allergies) he would be looking at a dry potato or potato and beans to eat.

then there’s his anxiety, which is my main concern. Headteacher told us that some kids will wet their beds and be upset about being away from home and shrugged it off like it was nothing. DS has panic attacks sometimes- full blown ones where he convinced he will die. I’m really worried about how he will cope. He literally doesn’t sleep at all if he’s not in his own bed. Headteacher also shrugged that off and said he can catch up on sleep when he gets back.

im stuck between a rock and a hard place. If he goes I know he won’t be eating or sleeping much and will be crying a lot wanting to be home. If he doesn’t go then he is missing out and will be the only kid in his class not going.

The trip is for 5 days and costs an arm and a leg.

really don’t know what to do!

I haven’t read your other thread but

my 9 yo has just got back, he is a none sleeper, fussy eater snd we had problems re anxiety and long afterwards when covid was at its peak. We talked about his worries before hand as l told him it would make him feel better, we did and he did. He loved it l was more upset than him in the day and in fact l feel like someone else come back he is more confident and more bonded with his friends, let him go and enjoy himself, let him grow.

My daughter is a bed wetter and is going on a school residential next week. We've talked to the school and she can tell them if it happens and they'll surreptitiously change the bedding.

She's also vegetarian and has a new allergy to nuts but she'll cope with plain food for a week.

Re the sleeping, I think she probably will sleep BUT ashes anxious and we've just had our dog put to sleep which she is DEVASTATED about so I'm nervous but I'm not letting on to her that I am.

Honestly I'd send him - can you talk directly to the place they're staying re allergy provisions etc? Bed wetting protocol? He won't be the first or last to have these issues.