Absolutely stressed out of my mind - house move with toddler

[Porridgewithhoneyandnuts]

We have moved house and I couldn’t get any time off and I work fixed term time only so can’t take any annual leave.

It is an absolute nightmare. There is STUFF everywhere, nothing is where it is supposed to be, clothes all over the place, underwear in the garage, childrens toys in the kitchen, plates in the bedrooms. I can’t put anything away as toddler is (understandably) unsettled and follows me around crying to be picked up constantly.

Oh and he’s also chosen this week to stop napping 😩😩😩

1.Empty one box.
2.Put child in the box with a pack of crayons and instruction to make it beautiful.
3.Get stuff done.

Good luck and don’t feel bad - it can take a long time to unpack and get organized after a house move.

Damn you’re good! 😁

Stuff with eventually end up where it needs to be OP by virtue of being fit when needed. It’s Whitsun in a few weeks so you can shuffle what remains then. Get yourself a cup of tea and a biscuit, and enjoy your new home.

Sit down and write a list

what five things will make your life easier if you can sort them

put tv on, sit toddler in front of it with snack

do the five things

check on toddler while writing down next five things and repeat until toddler wont sit still anymore, then go outside and run the toddler til he is exhausted and then come back and repeat

order take aways

find a babysitter quickly

Good grief. Stuff will eventually end up where it needs to be by virtue of being got when needed.

Divide and conquer - what’s toddler’s father doing?

How old is toddler?

Do you have local support?

Plonk toddler in front of TV and prioritise. Stuff you need daily, clothes, kitchen, washing sort ASAP. The rest can wait.

He’s only 15 months so wouldn’t sit watching TV - plus we won’t have it until next week! There’s not really anything he could get on with totally independently and even if he could be won’t at the moment. It’s a nightmare!

Do you have a space that is safe for you to leave him for 5 mins at a time? If so, then put him there with some toys and put some music on, then run and do a job and run back and say high, run and do a job and run back and say hi. He might cry a bit, but if you keep coming back he will settle and play with his toys. Then when. You have done a few things, sit down and play with him for 20 mins, then nip off and do another stretch of jobs. Its hard work though

Can you sit him in a high chair with some snacks and or a few bits to play with and work around him? We did a similar move when my DD was just 2.
Have you got anyone local to help? It sounds very stressful.
When he is asleep just get the next most important thing set up like kettle and mugs station. You will get there.

It doesn't all need to be done at once. Do what @SockFluffInTheBath suggested - just get stuff as and when needed and that way, it will all end up where it's meant to be.

Then in May half-term, you can do a bit extra.

As an aside I'd keep trying with the nap - he's very early to drop all day time sleep and if he is clingy it might be cos he is overtired

Assuming you live with partner/child's other parent (apologies in advance if you don't), just leave everything until the weekend or whenever you're both at home. Then one of you sorts the house, while the other looks after the toddler.

Well that’s what’s been happening and it’s been me looking after the toddler but DH has been moving all the stuff and I’ve had the weekend with the toddler 24/7 with no break at all.

Time to prioritise and divide and conquer.

Is everything in the new place?

I know how shit it is, but one of you needs to be on kid duty, and the other on unpacking.

Soemetimes they can be interchangeable eg, you filling drawers with toddler in the room. At other times just get out the house.

Are you resenting having your own kid for a weekend?

I had that kind of toddler too OP. I’d have been living out of boxes for a year if we tried a move at 15 months.

cut yourself some slack and don’t worry if you don’t have a magical mumsnet toddler. Just accept that it has to happen on a much slower timescale than you’d like.

When you put it like that @Hercisback it’s deliberately trying to upset me and make me feel bad.

Working full time all week then having an extremely active and exhausting young child all day and all night whilst living in chaos Isn’t easy. That doesn’t mean I resent him, it just means I’m very tired and unsettled myself.

Our buyers funds didn’t clear so we’re down the weekend at MILS with only the clothes on our backs, then when the funds did vibe in on the Monday DH couldn't take the day off so I moved with a 14m (job walking) baby 7 months pregnant.

I dug out the travel cot, put DS in it with some tots and then unpacked a box, making piles for each room. Once I had enough empty boxes I did a box for each room.

Soon enough I then had some boxes in each room, so I could just move the cot and DS into each room.

It would help so much if you could find a TV or laptop to watch for a bit though

@Trivester thanks so much for saying that. When I read about these toddlers who would quietly watch TV or sit in their high chairs it makes me think I’ve gone very wrong somewhere and I have to remind myself none of my nct groups toddlers would do that either.

Sympathy OP it sounds really hard.

I think the pp suggestion of prioritising is good. Even if you just do one job a day(may have to contain toddler and let them cry a bit while you do it but if it's just 10 mins will do no harm) within a week hopefully you'll have your pants out of the garage and plates in the kitchen and feel more sane!

Pants are now out of the garage courtesy of the one hour nap (😩😩) DS finally deigned to take today, and he is now still up and showing no signs of giving in …

I'm not deliberately trying to upset you. Count your blessings. Plenty of parents move as single parents with no support.

You have a partner moving stuff and emptying boxes. Have patience and do what you can around the toddler.

I've been there with a similar age and temperament of child. He pooed on the floor the day we moved in and hasn't stopped causing chaos since.

Sit back, try to relax and do as much as possible when he's asleep.

Plenty of parents move as single parents with no support

Herc, if we’re going down the cliche route how about if you can’t find anything nice to say, don’t say it.

I think you just need to calm down, chill out and accept that it’s going to be chaos for a few weeks. What’s the point in stressing? Can you find a babysitter for one weekend and get as much done as possible? Without our 2 kids we managed to virtually unpack the whole house (or at least organise the key rooms and pile the unopened boxes out the way) in a very long day. It will get there- enjoy your new home!

I’m quite calm, to be fair. Just shattered.

I don’t really know anyone who could babysit … the problem is they’d need to have DS at their place which I’m not totally sure about for a first time occasion. But it obviously is a bit stressful when you’re needing to live a sort-of normal life with regard to work and so on while living in chaos! I’ve done it before and it was bad enough but I didn’t have a very small child then

Moving house is stressful for anyone and things cannot be sorted in a day, give yourself time