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Original poster

Absolutely stressed out of my mind - house move with toddler

76 replies

Porridgewithhoneyandnuts · 01/05/2022 12:48

We have moved house and I couldn’t get any time off and I work fixed term time only so can’t take any annual leave.

It is an absolute nightmare. There is STUFF everywhere, nothing is where it is supposed to be, clothes all over the place, underwear in the garage, childrens toys in the kitchen, plates in the bedrooms. I can’t put anything away as toddler is (understandably) unsettled and follows me around crying to be picked up constantly.

Oh and he’s also chosen this week to stop napping 😩😩😩

OP posts:
Original poster
Porridgewithhoneyandnuts · 02/05/2022 07:50

Because you asked me if I resented my child, Herc.

It was a horrible thing to say. Either own it or leave it. I don’t really want to engage with someone like that.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 02/05/2022 07:50

I haven't said anything unkind.

Herc, you've given some very practical advice but your comments that bookmarked it have been exceptionally unkind, eg

Are you resenting having your own kid for a weekend?

I'm sure you can see that.

OP you have my sympathies. A situation like this would completely overwhelm me & I'd be very stressed. I think all you can do is cope with the chaos & take it in micro stages. Pants sorted has to be a win, for example! Just focus on the basics now.

Can you take time off work while DS is in childcare? (If it's the case that you work?)

EarringsandLipstick · 02/05/2022 07:52

I've given you practical tips and solidarity. I had a similar toddler. I'm not sure why you're reacting so badly to my posts.

The practical advice was fine. The judgey, unkind posts, less so.

Surely you can see that? Telling someone to count their blessings is the opposite of offering solidarity.

And asking if they resent having their toddler is staggeringly rude.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Hercisback · 02/05/2022 07:58

Your post about having your own child 24/7 was staggering about your OWN child.

I can't see how counting your blessings is rude or the opposite of solidarity. To me it really isn't. To me it's a chance to stand back and appreciate. Perhaps we see the two sentences differently.

Original poster
Porridgewithhoneyandnuts · 02/05/2022 08:00

Herc, we aren’t going to agree here but I am not the only one who commented on it. I have enough on my plate at the moment, I’m not being drawn into a stupid row.

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 02/05/2022 08:00

Hercisback · 02/05/2022 07:58

Your post about having your own child 24/7 was staggering about your OWN child.

I can't see how counting your blessings is rude or the opposite of solidarity. To me it really isn't. To me it's a chance to stand back and appreciate. Perhaps we see the two sentences differently.

Plenty of people feel that way about their own child when they don’t get a single break. Let’s not do the motherhood martyr thing where you have to feel blessed and joyous at the absolute relentless nature of parenting. Sleepless clingy toddlers with no respite because of circumstance – in this case OP’s DH dealing with the move – are a kick in the teeth. She’s allowed to feel that way.

OP is clearly finding your posts unhelpful and distressing. What’s in it for you to keep haranguing her?

Original poster
Porridgewithhoneyandnuts · 02/05/2022 08:03

i said I wasn’t going to engage but I’m actually bloody pissed off.

You have been demanding sympathy in buckets for the poor, poor, exhausted hardworking teachers for years now. Now here is an exhausted, hardworking teacher. Sympathy?

I hope you’re going to not object to count your blessings when you post again about teachers struggles.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 02/05/2022 08:04

I work fixed term time only so can’t take any annual leave.

Sorry, I missed this line, meaning my suggestion to take leave while DS is in childcare is redundant

Tonkerbea · 02/05/2022 08:04

EarringsandLipstick · 02/05/2022 07:52

I've given you practical tips and solidarity. I had a similar toddler. I'm not sure why you're reacting so badly to my posts.

The practical advice was fine. The judgey, unkind posts, less so.

Surely you can see that? Telling someone to count their blessings is the opposite of offering solidarity.

And asking if they resent having their toddler is staggeringly rude.

Agreed, extending empathy shouldn't involve implying someone in the trenches of parenthood AND a housemove resents their kid. OP, hope you can get a nap out of little one today.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/05/2022 08:06

Herc OP said DH has been moving all the stuff and I’ve had the weekend with the toddler 24/7 with no break at all.

It's in the context that she's unpacking & getting settled in a new house, with no break at all and trying to do it with her toddler DS.

Not that she routinely objects to being with her DS!

The context is really clear & your comments were just unkind.

Hercisback · 02/05/2022 08:06

Nothing gained, in fact it's taking up time. How am I haranguing anyone? We disagree about counting blessings, clearly that's loaded for some people. To me it really isn't.

I'm no martyr either. Life with toddlers can be incredibly shit.

I hope in a couple of weeks you can look back and this is a distant memory.

Again practical tips, prioritise, sling, get out the house, stick toddler in a corner 'helping' or involve them in stuff they can do.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/05/2022 08:06

Porridgewithhoneyandnuts · 02/05/2022 08:03

i said I wasn’t going to engage but I’m actually bloody pissed off.

You have been demanding sympathy in buckets for the poor, poor, exhausted hardworking teachers for years now. Now here is an exhausted, hardworking teacher. Sympathy?

I hope you’re going to not object to count your blessings when you post again about teachers struggles.

Great post!!

Hercisback · 02/05/2022 08:08

I'm a teacher myself Grin.

On reflection resent is a strong word that perhaps shouldn't have been used. I apologise for that.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/05/2022 08:10

She knows you're a teacher (we all do!) hence the comment about her also being a tired hardworking teacher in need of sympathy.

Fair play for apologising though.

Original poster
Porridgewithhoneyandnuts · 02/05/2022 08:10

I know Hmm that was my point. You’ve been demanding sympathy for years and now when someone else wants it, you have the nerve to say ‘count your blessings.’

Thank you for the apology.

OP posts:
Hercisback · 02/05/2022 08:11

In the context of teaching I do regularly count my blessings.

I have a job, it pays well, I get weekends and holidays with my children. Yes term time is crap but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate what I do have.

I'm off to enjoy my bank holiday. I hope today is better for you all.

Original poster
Porridgewithhoneyandnuts · 02/05/2022 08:15

You do that Herc Confused

OP posts:
CorsicaDreaming · 02/05/2022 08:24

@Porridgewithhoneyandnuts - It felt very old fashioned, but in the end I got a playpen for my extremely adventurous (let's climb up the bookcase, let's get our head stuck in the bannisters) DS when he was young.
It just gave a bit of time to rush around the house tidying when he was in one place and safe. Also a stair gate on his own bedroom.

Then I'd make up an interesting box or bag of safe things for him to play with and let him explore through them while I sorted things out.

So a cork, a spoon, a paperweight, some very chunky pottery beads tied on a string, plastic cotton reel, puzzle, picture book, etc

Then sit in same room as him sorting through a box and putting away etc.

He especially loved the Nosy Crow flap books so that was a good distraction.

And nosy crow apps (and bizarrely Angry Birds!) on the iPad from a fairly young age. Not for hours but just for half an hour or so to give some time and space to get on (or sit down and have a coffee!)

CorsicaDreaming · 02/05/2022 08:27

He also once painted his entire face with Crayola "washable" blue felt tip.

I put washable in inverted commas as it most certainly was not.

He looked like a Smurf for several days.

CorsicaDreaming · 02/05/2022 08:29

And he never blooming slept

And was a fussy eater.

Love him dearly. And he's now 9.

So what I'm saying is that
I get where you're coming from OP.
These things do eventually pass but it's a bugger living through them.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 02/05/2022 08:39

CorsicaDreaming · 02/05/2022 08:27

He also once painted his entire face with Crayola "washable" blue felt tip.

I put washable in inverted commas as it most certainly was not.

He looked like a Smurf for several days.

I’m tickled pink by the idea of your little blue Smurf! That is such a cute story, although I suppose you didn’t think so at the time! 😂

Original poster
Porridgewithhoneyandnuts · 02/05/2022 08:45

We do have a playpen … and can’t find it! Grin maybe today …

OP posts:
TulipsGarden · 02/05/2022 08:50

😁 I love the Smurf story.

Mine also used to climb bookcases. And the sofa. And could find any small, dangerous thing that had accidentally fallen on the floor within seconds. I'm always amazed some toddlers weren't like that. Thankfully now he's 3 he's more able to control his body and save himself (he regularly watches TV on top of the sofa), but god, at 15 months a form of containment was essential.

CorsicaDreaming · 02/05/2022 08:51

I must admit I did think it was hilarious 😂 🤣

CorsicaDreaming · 02/05/2022 09:00

Which of course meant drawing on his face became a rather hilarious game for a while... 🙄

Then he wrote on the wall - just behind the sofa with a permanent Sharpie (I know) - his name and a big X

When I asked him what had possessed him to write on the wall and told him that it was a Bad Idea he looked very crest-fallen and puzzled and said,
"Well I always sit there, so the X just marks my spot."

We then got quite fond of it and had his name and an X on the wall for years!

But my friends DD got poo out of her nappy and smeared that on her bedroom wall.

And another's licked bird poo off the pavement. Twice.

So I think I got off fairly lightly.

Kids, eh? Who'd have 'em.