Absolutely stressed out of my mind - house move with toddler

[Porridgewithhoneyandnuts]

We have moved house and I couldn’t get any time off and I work fixed term time only so can’t take any annual leave.

It is an absolute nightmare. There is STUFF everywhere, nothing is where it is supposed to be, clothes all over the place, underwear in the garage, childrens toys in the kitchen, plates in the bedrooms. I can’t put anything away as toddler is (understandably) unsettled and follows me around crying to be picked up constantly.

Oh and he’s also chosen this week to stop napping 😩😩😩

I have screenshot this advice.
You genius you!

If you found someone that could babysit could you make an effort to clear one room (the living room for example) baring the furniture and some toys for the toddler? Ask the person to look after him in there at least then you’ve got one room. Literally just PILE the stuff up in other rooms then work through it when babysitter has him.

Obviously you won’t get it all done in one sitting but I reckon you could make a good dent in an hour or two.

Stick some headphones on and don’t be tempted to go to DC if he’s crying, your babysitting person can comfort / distract him. Even TV and snacks to power through lol.

High chair, chocolate buttons and cbeebies!

Been there...moved house in one day with a baby and toddler. Absolute hell and when it was over I burst into hysterical crying!

I haven't said anything unkind. I fully understand where you are coming from, I've been there.

I'm trying to give practical advice and an appreciation that all is not lost.

Unless you've moved to a mansion you have 7ish rooms to sort.

Get beds sorted, then kitchen, bathroom essentials and clothes.

It feels shit now but it does get better.

No one who says ‘count your blessings’ is being kind.

You need a list. One, it makes your head clearer to purge all the panic from it and get it onto paper. Two, you stick it to the fridge and then when you do get some respite – via naps, bribes, or CBeebies on your phone while the toddler goes in a playpen – you can tackle something from the list rather than doing the headless chicken “it’s all too much!” panic dance.

presumably he’s in bed now? Start your list! Or get one room/cupboard/area/box sorted.

Rather than you being with the toddler constantly, could you and dh tag team so one has the baby for a couple of hours while the other sorts, then swap over?

still hard work I know but you get a break from the relentlessness that is a toddler and fresh hands for the sorting too.

If you have an NCT group one of them can baby sit for a bit

I sympathise @Porridgewithhoneyandnuts ! Moved when DS was 6 months then again at 23 months.

Can you make al oat of things you can do in the evening to get a room sorted enough for him to play in? share list with DH and let him know that you’ll need to complete those things together?

I’d write off the days for the best part and accept that you’ll have to do some in the evenings - knackering as it will be!

or instead of getting a baby sitter get a friend over and get them to do the unpacking?

DH needs to take turn with toddler too!

Good luck!

Thank you. I have asked if anyone is free but no one is and I don’t like to keep asking. People do have their own lives and their own struggles.

Unfortunately @EmJay19 DS has been going to bed ridiculously late, no idea what’s got into him (unless unsettled from move) it leaves no time for anything!

You've handled that comment with a lot more grace than I would have.

@Porridgewithhoneyandnuts I’ve just done a house move with a 16 month old. We moved 1 day, I worked all day the following day, then DH left the next morning to go offshore for 6 weeks and I’ve been left to set up the house. It’s HARD so I feel your pain! Mine also doesn’t pay attention to TV so I’m not able to use it as a distraction.

May or may not work for your toddler but here are some things that have helped me:

• As soon as toddler is down for the night or down for a nap, spend whatever time you have moving boxes etc. Get as many boxes as you can put into the room the stuff belongs to. Makes every room messy but it’s easier to tackle each room if the stuff is there rather than having to try and carry boxes around with a toddler on you!


• when you’re having to entertain toddler and unpack, go into one room with him and close the door and just focus on tackling a bit of that room.


• my toddler loves filling and emptying things so I filled him a small box with toys and let him unpack that while I was unpacking a proper box - save this for when you’re dealing with breakables etc. Yes, there will be toys everywhere while you’re trying to unpack but it might buy you a few minutes 🤣


• he wanted to get involved and unpack my boxes constantly so I just let him. Things like clothes that were going in drawers - drawer out and put on the floor, hand toddler the clothes, ask him to put it in the drawer. Takes a million times longer and the drawers will be a mess but you can tidy them up as you use stuff from the drawers and it means you’re getting stuff done while entertaining him.

In all honesty if I really needed the time
off work I’d go off sick for a couple of days.. I wouldn’t entertain it unless I was seriously at breaking point tho…

I worked FT with a 18mo and was pregnant when we moved. I know how shit it is.

Otoh I know it ends.
I know it gets better.
I know the pants don't live in the garage forever.

Counting your blessings is a reminder things could be a lot worse.

Do you have a sling? Whack him in there for an hour or so while you get stuff done.

You're resisting any practical advice so I should just quit.

Herc, no one is saying it’s totally impossible or unmanageable or can’t be done at all. I honestly am a bit lost as to why you just want to tell me you had it worse / the same and so do other people. How is that helpful to anyone?

Thanks to the other replies. We will get there of course but it’s still a bit stressful. Tasks that should take two minutes take twenty because we can’t find anything!

We moved when our DD was a year old and it was an absolute nightmare. It's so hard to get anything done when they're under your feet/crying/following/wanting to be picked up etc.
We got the 'just put her in front of the tv with a snack' advice from people but it's no good if your kid won't do it, as mine wouldn't. She also didn't nap and was late to bed most nights so I feel your pain.

She really enjoyed helping to build furniture and carry things so we let her do that as much as possible. The only offer we got for looking after her was on her first birthday - we felt a bit guilty but were so glad to have a few hours to ourselves to get stuff done.

We moved to a renovation project so unfortunately we're still not fully unpacked well over a year later. We'd tried to do things in an organised way such as marking the boxes so we could move them in room by room but we ran out of time to pack so what actually happened is stuff got rammed in any old box and we still haven't found half of it.
You could try giving him a small box and letting him pack/unpack it while he's following you around. Other than hoping he naps, there's not really much you can do to keep him safely entertained as they just undo all your hard work once your back is turned for a minute.

Always best to divide the work into bite-sized pieces. If DH can empty two boxes and put all the contents in the right places, while you have DD, that's great. Then swap with you - he takes DD and you empty two boxes, then everyone has a cup of tea and a sit down. It will all get done eventually . Don't stress, we've all been there and it's never easy but in a few weeks it will all be done and you'll survive. Best wishes !

Would you feel more productive if you were doing the unpacking rather than DH? I would go mad working all week and then being stuck in a chaotic house with a 15 month old, it's such a hard age. I absolutely hate trying to accomplish tasks with a toddler getting in the way, it's supremely frustrating. Do you have a travel cot you could plonk him in for a while with toys and books? We were in lockdown when mine was 15 months so we did that to get work done.

Get DH to take over parenting tomorrow (if you're not working?) and spend two hours sorting your own stuff. You'll feel better when you know where your own pants/ hairdryer/mugs are.

We moved last year when mine was one so I feel you! Get the toddler out of the house this morning for a couple of hours and have your DH move boxes to the rooms they should be in while you are out. They can sense when you're constantly trying to distract them and get them away from you and it makes them more clingy!! Then take turns - two hours on/off of having toddler or unpacking. Agree with PP your priority today should be sorting your stuff like your own clothes/hairdryer etc so you can be ready for work tomorrow.

Oh gosh. I still have flashbacks to the international move packing horror with DD18m. At one point I shifted a ton of stuff into the hallway, ran the bath full of bubbles plonked her in and sat in the hallway/bathroom doorway frantically wrapping and packing and labelling. I could see her but she was contained and not dismantling my packing.
Also- pack the kitchen, go for disposable plates/bowls etc and "picnics", takeaways and cold food as much as possible.

Thanks for the kind words and solidarity!

It’s so reassuring to read of other people with toddlers who are a whirlwind of energy, charging around constantly, wanting to be picked up and cuddled then they don’t, ignore the vast array of toys in favour of turning off the washing machine or pulling the ironing board over or running round with coat hangers (DS’ favourite thing to do!)

In other words a normal toddler but on here toddlers sit quietly watching TV!

Where is your ds when you're at work? Could you arrange with them for him to stay longer on a couple of occasions? That's would give you a couple of hours at least. Or could your DH take a couple of days and he can sort it while you're at work?

For some people, a coping strategy with stress is to stand back from it all and appreciate what they have. Being reminded of that can help. For you it hasn't. I use it a lot and find it means I focus less on what I haven't got, and more on what I have got.

I've given you practical tips and solidarity. I had a similar toddler. I'm not sure why you're reacting so badly to my posts.

Thanks, I couldn’t really because of logistics of the nursery run and traffic. As it is, I get him at 4 and home for 420. But if I got him at 530 I’d have to set off at 440 as the traffic gets so bad!