I intended to cheer up a friend in hospital... message exchange turned hotttt!

[aurynne]

I have this handsome friend who I originally met on Tinder. After a short messaging period we met a couple of times, we got along really well but I didn't develop any feelings (I normally take a long time to develop feelings anyway); then he told me there was this other woman he had been seeing (also from Tinder) and he was starting to have feelings for her so he didn't want to lead me on. Fair enough. He started a relationship with this other woman which did not last long, they broke up, and he and I remained platonic friends since, seeing each other once a month or so, for a chat, coffee or walks.

I messaged him yesterday to ask him how he was doing and he told me he was in hospital with strange symptoms, he was having some tests and would be admitted for some days as the symptoms are quite worrying and they fear it could be something related to his heart (he has some medical background related to this).

This evening after work I started messaging him to cheer him up. But in a completely unexpected and unintended way some of the jokes started turning quite... erm... spicy both ways. We ended up sharing a bit more intimate details about our lives than what I had intended. I certainly raised his... spirits.

I had not been thinking of him that way before, but now I doubt our platonic friendship can go back to what it used to be. I have this exciting feeling of anticipation about where - if anywhere - this will lead, not necessarily in a romantic way (so far I don't have romantic feelings for him), but certainly wouldn't mind exploring a more physical side of this friendship once he's recovered enough to make sure I don't give him a heart attack.

No real question here, just wanted to share a little feel-good (and-excited) story and perhaps wonder what's going to happen, if anything. Let's do a little poll... what do you think will happen next time we see each other in person?

1 - We won't. He'll have a heart attack tonight, will blame me for it and I'll never hear from him again.

2 - We will fall in each other's arms, have passionate hot sex and I will gain a new hot FWB

3 - We will be all feeling so awkward that nothing will happen

4 - Sparks will fly and we'll fall in love and I will stop being single (who knows for how long this time)

5 - Other (insert option here)

I suggest meetings and say "no" to some of his suggestions as often as he does. In fact he is far more accommodating than me, I can't remember him saying no to any of my suggestions. No one "summons" anyone here, it's an equal friendship. We both enjoy spending time with one another.

I find it bizarre how some women don't seem to even accept the possibility that any kind of relationship between a woman and a man can be equal. If any of my FWBs/friends was "summoning" me or attempted to control me they wouldn't last long as FWB/friends. It's all about boundaries.

If anyone would like an update...

From yesterday evening I have acquired a new FWB

Well done!
enjoy it :)

@aurynne brava! 🤸‍♀️

heh.

This, I'm afraid.

Read the thread or at least OP’s posts @Chocaholic9 🙄

Awesome news @aurynne . Hope he lived up to your expectations

He very much lived up to and exceeded them!

@aurynne nice 😁

Great OP if you're happy but I got the impression from your first post you were really hoping for a number 4. Good luck

I wouldn't want him after he had a choice between me and someone else and he chose them tbh!

Another update. Less than 24hrs after I got a new FWB (let's call him FWB2)... my other hot, sexy FWB (let's call him FWB1) told me he has started dating someone else, so we need to end the "WB" part of the friendship.

Feeling bummed now. I am not in love with FWB1, but he's a happy, respectful, lovely friend, and did I say he is hot as hell? We were getting quite good in bed and I was enjoying having someone to see when we both felt like it but with no pressure and no explanations about what we did in the time we weren't together.

I am feeling very happy for him, though. After all, FWB1 had told me recently he was finding it hard not to see me more often, and was giving me signs that he was lonely and wanted something more in life. I was kind but firm and reminded him of the rules we had agreed on, that my feelings had not advanced and I was not in love with him, and that I could not offer him more than what I was giving him. In fact I had started to feel a bit under pressure. In his shoes I would also have started looking elsewhere. So I am not complaining. I am just grieving for the fact I have lost pretty good sex and a bit fearful that his new date may ask him not to see me anymore, although he's gone to great lengths to assure me that will not happen because he really likes me as a friend and does not want to lose me. Fingers crossed it is true, however I will believe it when I see it.

Then, while I was trying to cheer myself up this afternoon, I got a message from brand new FWB2. I was going to see him again this week anyway for a dinner with friends we're both going to, and in his message he asked if I'd like to go watch a movie with him next week. That's 2 times in a row he has organised to see me after Saturday fun. That did cheer me up. Way too early days to know where this is going, but at least it's looking like he wants to see me again and it was not a "one shag only" experience.

To the ones who said I was hoping for option number 4 (sparks and love and relationship), to be honest at this stage I don't even know myself what I want. If FWB2 told me he was developing feelings for me and wanted a relationship i would feel under pressure because I do not feel ready for that yet. But I don't rule out developing feelings for him, because he really is a fantastic friend, intelligent, fun, with great values, good looking and considerate, and probably one of the best first times - in the sex department - I have had. I felt comfortable, safe and free to explore. He paid me lots of attention. There was very little awkwardness. Yes, when I first met him he chose someone else, but neither he or I felt any romantic feelings for one another at the time, so it's not like he led me on and cheated on me. He was honest from very early on that he had started fancying someone else from OLD. He had met this woman a bit before he met me. I had also been seeing different guys. All over the table, really.

So I am not going to close myself to the possibility of something more, but right now I am happy just exploring this new dimension to our friendship. And let him cheer me up from my loss of FWB1 - hopefully only loss of B, not F.

Gosh, sorry for the encyclopaedia!

Geez, how on earth do you managed to have no strings sex, OP with these guys without getting hurt and pining for me? It is a genuine question. I don't understand how people can do this. I usually am in love with the guy within a couple of months of regular sex. I don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship with someone.

pining for more*

I'm not sure what makes a woman genuinely able and relaxed to do this, as it's not that usual, but the moment I read OPs most recent post I thought sounds exactly like my dating life a decade ago 😄As long as the FWB is really a friend it can be great. Enjoy OP!

Sex outside of dating is very different to sex in a relationship. It helps to have a couple of interests on the go.

There are guys I find attractive whose personality and mine simply wouldn't work in a relationship. I can fall in love with someone having or not having had sex with them. The sex does bring me closer if I'm having it with someone I care about (like a friend), but "closeness" is different from "romantic feelings", it's always been like this for me. Who I fall in love with seems to be quite random, so far I have only "caught feelings" from one FWB, everyone else I have fallen in love with started as proper interest/dating/getting serious.

I can't explain why I don't fall in love with guys I have regular sex with, no more than you can explain why you do. But I'll always be secretly pining for you

Lol. Interesting!

Thanks for explaining.