If you became a SAHM..

[wastedtwenties]

How do you manage your finances? Assuming your partner supports you, pays for bills etc... then does your partner give you "spending money"?

If so how much? In comparison to his earnings?

We keep a spreadsheet of all outgoings so we know how to balance the spending. He gives me a set amount a month (not much but I combine with child benefit) and also a card with access to a joint account for food etc. I would discuss purchases with him but if I need anything I just say. I'm very careful with money and he is the same. It's not a formal arrangement or anything, we just communicate frequently about money & it works well. I'm looking forward to going back to work though to have my own money again 😀

My dh trusts me to be sensible and responsible with finances so there is no ‘spending money’ ….it’s totally ok for me to go for a coffee/dinner out occasionally but I don’t take the piss - I know what’s available and don’t go over….

All our finances are joint. I could never put up with being given "spending money" like a 50s housewife.

You should have full access to money. And be married first.

I'm just trying to work out how this looks. So do you have a joint account where his wage goes into?

We just have a joint account, his wage, my carers, DC's DLA all go in, we just budget accordingly. Any big spends we discuss and moving x amount to x savings for xyz. We don't have a set amount of spending money as needs vary each month. We're just aware of the outgoings and spend according to availablity really.

We just share all money as equal and always consult each other on big purchases.
I don’t like not earning though I’m looking forward to working again eventually

Yes joint account, equal spends. Anything else values SAHP as lesser, and I'd not settle for that.

I'm thinking of leaving work and becoming a SAHM. Dh is self employed and has a business account which he uses to run the business. We have been using savings plus my wage to live just now so I've just managed all the household stuff from there via our joint account.

However he will take a wage from the business going forward to support our household/ me.

Just wondering how it would work best?

Any and all money is joint. If he wants to go for a coffee, or I go out for a meal that comes from the joint spends account. We have equal personal spends for buying stuff for our hobbies or general junk for ourselves!

All finances available to both of us. I came to the marriage with far greater savings, but he is the sole earner since I became a sahm. We don't use savings without discussion, but current account is a free for all. We're both sensible. He manages the bills, I manage kids stuff and food/ cleaning etc costs, but neither of us spends recklessly, and neither of us worries about spending on occasional treats either. If one of us was a massive spender, we may need to do it differently. In 15 years neither of us seem to have changed our habits though, so this works for us.

I get a set amount per week to pay bills and buy groceries etc but also access to all other accounts which I use if I need

We have a joint account which I have full access to. Any large purchases eg £100+ which are not bills we discuss. His salary goes into this a account.

We just have one account that his wages go into and we both use as we wish.

We just had a joint account and credit card.

We have a joint account that the working partner's wage is paid into. We then transfer out the same amount each into our personal accounts so that we have an equal amount of spending money. The rest of the money is left in the joint account and covers all bills, food, petrol and family expenses.

Paid into a joint account. He never questions what I buy.

When I gave up work we worked out a monthly budget, and an annual budget so any weddings, car tax, birthdays and birthday parties, big planned expenditures- new car seats etc. Based off that we knew our monthly expenses and savings plans. Any money left after that we split in half and that gets put into our personal accounts each month. So we have an account each and a joint account. All joint or family expenses comes out of the joint account. And our own accounts are private. We love a good spreadsheet we do 😂😂😂😂

we decided also what were joint expenses- I didn't think it was fair him having to fun his commute and lunches out of his discretionary spending because he's doing it for us. And they come out of the joint account instead of him getting more to cover them. That way out discretionary spends are equal.

We had joint accounts.

Important question.. you refer to 'partner' and 'DH'

Are you married ?

The fact you’re asking means you have a concern. The fact he’s never withdrawn from his business and only ever lived off your salary and savings implies he’s going to need a big change in perception.

The starting point is that you are equal. That means what’s his is yours, what’s yours is his. You make decisions jointly. They children are a joint responsibility. Nobody gets to decide anything FOR anyone else.

This requires transparency. He doesn’t tell you how much he’s going to put into the joint account each month. He communicates how things are going with the business. You either trust him or you don’t. You both decide how much you need to live on, how much you’re going to save. You will BOTH have a say in the business, by definition. It’s YOUR means of survival as much as his and your DCs’.

I always worry when these threads come up. If you have any doubt that he’s not going to be transparent, that he’s going to be holding the purse strings - don’t give up your job completely. Just dial back and go part time.

We have the same amount of spending money put into our personal accounts each month. Bills, food, things for the children including say coffee at sofa play, prescription charges all come out of the joint account.

Are you married?
If you're not, it's a even bigger risk to become a SAHM. You become his lodger with few rights.

We have a joint account. All our joint income goes in there (when I had no earned income any gifts I got or dividend income went in). All money is our money.
We sit down once a month and budget together. If either of us wants something expensive then we would discuss it first. Day to day stuff is covered by the budget.

Oh as you've said your partner has a business account, definitely you shouldn't have access to that unless you're involved in the business. All his personal and family spending should come from your joint account. Any money he takes from the business (drawings, wages, dividends) should go to the joint account.
There needs to be a very clear split but it's business and personal not you and him.