If you became a SAHM..

[wastedtwenties]

How do you manage your finances? Assuming your partner supports you, pays for bills etc... then does your partner give you "spending money"?

If so how much? In comparison to his earnings?

My husband and I have a joint current account and a joint savings account. All golf our money is shared.
He would never want to degrade me by giving me an 'allowance' or me asking for spending money, I am his wife and partner, not his teenager.
I am a SAHM in order to support his career, the late nights/stop overs etc.
I had a very good well paid career but we want our children to have someone around, before and after school and in holidays etc, he sees this as an important role and would never make me feel less entitled to our money.
If things aren't equal and shared you should keep working.

One joint account with equal access to everything.

We have a joint account, and equal amounts of frivolous spending money (for things like computer games, costa coffee, books) out of that every week- it varies based on what we can afford. Anything else comes out of our joint account, and we discuss whether we need to spend money on bigger purchases and set budgets together. It's not 'my husbands' money, it's 'our' money. We are a team.

Here all finances are joint. So DH's wages go into our joint account and all our expenditure goes out from there too. We do have savings accounts in each of our names, but only because they had good rates at the time so it made sense to take one out each, we consider it joint money. At times whilst predominantly being a SAHM I've worked too (self-employed), and have a business account and transfer from that into our joint account where its shared in the same way as my DH's earnings.

You will BOTH have a say in the business, by definition

there is always one who goes too far, who gets greedy. She doesn’t get a say in his business. And if the genders were reversed no one would suggest the man should get a say in the woman’s successful business. You don’t even know if she’s qualified to have a say or even understands it..

We have two joint accounts (plus a joint savings account). We use one for bills and one for day to day expenses.

We both have equal access to all family money and I wouldn’t have considered staying home if that wasn’t the case.

We have no concept of 'his' money. We are a family/team. We are both sensible and spend money equally. If we need to cut back we do so, and if we are thinking of spending on a holiday/car/washing machine we will discuss what we can afford.

Joint account here too.

We have a joint account that his wage goes into. Almost everything comes out of it (food, bills, kids expenses, work clothes, house expenses). We both have a card for that account and just spend it when needed. We each have a small amount of personal money that is transferred from the joint account to our personal accounts to cover any personal spends we want- meal out with a friend, clothes, hobby spends etc. I wanted my spending money to be separate from the family money because DH is more of a spender than me and I felt I was missing out on saving it up! We both get exactly the same amount and are also very relaxed with the family money - there's often a bit of an overlap between the family account and our personal ones but it's not a problem. If DH needed something and was out of money then he'd just take it from the family account, as would I.

DH's salary goes into the joint current account. All bills and spending go from that account. Savings are in joint account also. I have some money in a sole savings account (inheritance) but some of that has been spent on joint expenditure. DH put some savings into premium bonds in his own name. He knows about my accounts and I obviously know about his. I do not have to ask permission to buy anything. I manage the finances mainly. He does not mind if I buy myself new clothes or have a meal out/weekend away with my friends. We've been together over 30 years and I haven't done paid work for the last 20.

Absolutely this. When we got married I was the higher earner and had savings(I'm a year older and he'd just left uni). We put all our money into joint accounts and still deal with finances this way 25 years later.

He is now a high earner and I've been a SAHM for 8years. We have equal access to current and savings accounts. We both have ISAs with equal amounts in, taken from the joint accounts. These are the only individual accounts we have.

Spending has never been an issue. We trust each other and are both 'sensible ' with money . Really big spends are planned jointly, but then they are for shared/family items anyway. Anything else we need/want/ fancy treating ourselves to, we do. No questions asked.

My husband would be appalled at the idea of giving me an allowance, he wouldn't like the idea of me asking to spend our money. All income is ours. I am a very busy home ed mum and we wouldn't be able to do the things for our family/children if I hadn't given up a well paid job and if he didn't see us as equals in the relationship. Equally, he wouldn't have been able to work his way up to the level he's at if I was still working, we're a team.

Here also a joint account. We both have our own accounts too, but never have much in them. Joint account and joint savings account are what we use on a day to day spending.

We are married and have a very similar view on money/spending/saving - this really helps when dealing with significant differences in income.

When I was a sahm everything went in the joint account and I had as much access to the money as DH did. We both have a similar approach to spending and saving and it was never a bone of contention.

Yes we just had a joint account that his wage went into, everything came out of that. Ultimately I saved us a fortune by not working for several years, and DH would have struggled to have pushed up his career as much as he has, so I feel I put plenty of "money" in myself.

I would have been pretty cross with a housewife pocket money idea

I was a SAHM for about 20 years. We had two accounts (both joint): current account, and savings account. Husband's income went into the current account, which paid for everything (mortgage, credit cards, school fees, all bills, purchases, etc, etc). If we ever accumulated a decent amount in the current account, we transferred it to the savings account. We used this for 'big' and unexpected purchases (new car etc). Very, very straightforward.

There was no designated 'spending money'. Everything was equally available and accessible. We were a family, not two individuals sharing a house. It probably helped that we were both pretty sensible and didn't blow huge amounts on crap like fake nails or football tickets.

All our money goes into the joint account and I spend it as I see fit. I absolutely would never be a sahm without completely free, unquestioned access to our money.
Back when I had a job and dh didn't, our money was still ours - there's no his or mine!

All money goes into the joint account. We leave a years worth of outgoings in the joint account (we are paid once a year through our company) then we split the rest equally and it gets transferred into our personal accounts.

we use a credit card for all spending (same credit card account) and the bill gets cleared every month using the joint account.

anything we buy for personal use goes on the credit card and comes out of the joint account.

We had a joint account for the mortgage and bills which we both paid an equal amount into before we had children. When I stopped earning my DH just started paying his whole salary into the joint account and it was all shared.

We got married, got joint accounts, had kids, and I became a SAHM for a bit. Never had to work anything out money wise. We both have the same spend/save mentality so it just works.

Greedy 🙄

Have you every lived long-term with someone who has their own business that you don’t run? This is different from being the business owner yourself, in case you are one. The level and type of involvement is hardly going to be granular. It’s going to be macro-level, the sorts of decisions that impact family life. Should I take on this job that will see me living away from home for 6 months? Should we just downsize our lives so I only have to work the equivalent of 3 days per week? Should I go into partnership with this mate in Birmingham, meaning you won’t see me for dust for three months? What do you think about reinvesting this £100k in the business for a shot at turning that into £300k in the next three years, or should we spend it on that extension we’ve been talking about since we bought the house now that our DC are teens and need more space.

Being self-employed, especially as a sole owner, often IS family life. Everything and everyone depends on it. Of course both spouses get a say. Or would you rather OP live in blind ignorance like an obedient little wifey, leaving everything up to her DH, while he runs up debts (never having supported his family thus far, mind) and eventually goes bankrupt and leaves her and her children up shit creek? Give over. It’s about communication. All relationships depend on good communication.

We have always had a joint account where all earned income goes and we both take from. I watch it more closely so if we are getting low on cash flow before the end of the month, I advise him to more frugal

When I was a SAHM our money was joint. We had separate current accounts and he transferred a set amount to mine each month by direct debit, but we had a joint savings account and I had full access to that. So if I needed extra one month I could (and did) help myself without asking him. It helped that we are both careful with money.

DH has a monthly standing order to transfer money into my account (we've never had a joint current account but do both have access to the savings account). I deal with most of the bills and household spending and have since before I was a SAHM.

I appreciate that might not work for everyone but I've only been a SAHM recently and always had our own earnings in our own accounts beforehand, but are totally upfront about what we spend on what (we don't buy many interesting things!) and where the money's going, and he's always earned more and been 100% of the mindset that his money is our money/family money.

It's not 'an allowance' or 'pocket money' just because it starts off in his account and goes into mine. He never asks what I spend it on and if I say 'can you transfer some more/ pay this bill directly' he will without question. It's just family money, it doesn't really matter the journey by which it goes to the mortgage company, supermarket or school activity bills.

This is what we do too.

We're in a similar situation as to what you are planning except that I work PT. I am a 50% shareholder of my DH's business.
My DH receives a small salary from his company and the rest of his income is dividends from the business. I recieve an income from my PT work and then receive dividends from the business. Our gross income is exactly the same. We put the same amount of money into the joint account each year and all bills come out of this, we then put the same amount into a joint savings account. The rest we do as we please. Any big purchases for holidays or for items towards our home come from savings. I end up spending more on DD as I take her out on my days off but DH tends to always pay for family day outs, restaurants, take away etc, he often will fill up my car if he's driving it and its low as I'm a risk taker when it comes to the fuel dial! It evens itself out.