When shit things happen to you, what do you do to pull yourself back up again ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

What helps you ?

Would love to know too.

Exercise and eating healthily?

As pp said basics like healthy eating and getting outside for fresh air and exercise seem to help me. As well as planning in things to look forward to over the coming months (arranging lunch with a friend, booking a show etc)….I think that helps me feel more connected

Sometimes I need to go mentally 'offline' for a while.

Call the Samaritans to talk about it.

Accept that sometimes life is shit, I feel shit and it's better to lean into that rather than to try to fight it.

I'm in it at the moment. Life has been awful for years. I'm crying every day at the moment but it's better to let the emotion come out than to suppress it.

I say to myself XYZ was terrible wasn't it but it's in the past and I can't do anything to change it. I have the rest of my life to live and I try to carry on with the rest my day. Sometimes I find motivational stuff on YouTube. When I do exercise I feel better as well as doing activities outdoors. Keeping busy helps me.

You can run through a lot of stuff. I’ve also walked out into a deserted field and roared at the sky, then walked home playing that Chumbawumba song.

Thanks so much all really useful tips
i think every single one of those things help

If I'm in the middle of a shit situation, I will run through the worst case scenario and work out how I'm would deal with it. Then I know I am prepared and feel more able to carry on with the current situation.

If I feel a build up of emotion that I am finding it difficult to control then I put on a tear jerker movie, sob my way through an evening, and get a release that way. Usually feel exhausted afterwards but more stable emotionally.

Sometimes I escape into things, I binge a series on Netflix, I read, I get lost on Mumsnet (other people's problems help me stop focusing on mine).

Read or listen to a book to put some mental space and time between me and the event.

A few years back I came across the phrase ‘it is what it is’, as in its happened and you can’t change it. I don’t know how repeating that in my head mentally helps me, but when I think it, it draws a line under whatever trauma I’m thinking about and I start to move on. For some reason it’s become a very frowned upon phrase on mn though so I try not to say it

No social media
No reading the news
No Google
Drinking hot water and lemon
No caffeine or alcohol
Listen to calming music on YouTube
Have reflexology
Walks in nature
Making a gratitude list
Look for a positive at the end of each day
Accept what I cannot change as hard as that is
Look for ways to help others (eg used to help at a foodbank) so I dont wallow in my own self pity
Feel my emotions rather than fight them and accept that it's ok to feel sad
Think of negative emotions as storms passing through the mind but the mind itself is blue sky - sometimes it clouds over but the blue sky always comes through again eventually. It really helps to separate my self from negative emotions

Shit things happening are all part of life, its how you respond to it thats important, " keep going" is my mantra and that has served me well, just keep going about your business, doing what you have to do, everything comes and everything goes.

Talk to my Mum usually, always helps to share the problem.

Put on music, first to cheer myself up, then it becomes a cryfest. I find it a lot harden as a parent to cry so I have to 'force' myself. It foes help.
If shit is caused by other people, I get a stubborn 'I'll show you how I'll survive' feeling somehow and that keeps me going.
(this is on top pf meditation videos etc I do nowadays).

Look at my children
go for a run and revel in my good health

Keep going. Went through an awful time 5 years ago, which unbelievably got worse.

just kept going. Look back now and what helped was trying to get outside, walking, gardening, just sitting outside. Trying to eat well…. Less alcohol. Trying to touch base with friends. You do learn who your real friends are.

but ‘it will pass’ was what kept going through my head.

also trying to keep some agency.

I am grieving for my husband, he was the love of my life. I walk in the fresh air everyday listen to music and see friends but I am so lonely without him and don’t feel life can ever be happy again. I wish I could see a way of pulling myself together si I am watching this with interest for any useful ways.

Lots of great things here.
I am lucky enough to have 3 very good friends who I would go for a 'rage walk' with, and I do the same for them. When things are rubbish, we go for a massive power walk, talk ourselves out and then get on with it.
That does help immensely. One of them in particular is very good at helping me to think about things in a different way and she has been an absolute rock for me over many years. I'm so lucky to have such people in my life.

I clean. 🤷🏻‍♀️
I swim and run for headspace.
basically I need to move, the rythmicity is soothing.

what’s happening, @LovelyYellowLabrador ?

For me, exercising/ getting out is all well and good once you’ve got the energy, or motivation to force yourself outside.

Pre that stage, fluffy blanket(s), herbal tea (easier to drink at any temp if you make it then forget / have a good cry first) and some really rubbishy telly (a bit ashamed to admit this was JK on ITV back in the day!) plus the “permission” to allow yourself to ‘wallow’/grieve so you don’t beat yourself up for not leaving the house / not ‘coping’.

oh! Or cuddle a puppy if you’re lucky enough to know one. Pets can help immensely.

Sending positive vibes to those reading who are suffering. I hope today is a brighter day for you

I try and keep busy to help time pass faster, hopefully speeding through to the other side of the shite

Getting outdoors helps me, either a walk or run with music or a podcast.
either work out how you can change what the issue is and do it, if you can’t change it, make peace with it and move on.
SUMO - shut up move on. Good advice I had from a motivational speaker

Also jigsaws!

Between March 31st and November 1st 2020 I lost my mum, my job and my dad in that order. The day after dad's funeral I took myself off to some nearby woods and roared like a T-rex. Now I when shit comes my way I just think "I've been through worse and I'm still here so I can deal with this" and get on with it. For me a sense of perspective works.

Lots of sleep and lots of naps.

Going on walks outside, even if it's raining.

Drinking lots of water.

Making time to see supportive friends and family who I can be honest with about my feelings and not have to pretend to be OK.

Listening to a favourite book on my library app (something I don't have to concentrate on, because I know the story).