My friend thinks menopause is a load of old bollocks.

[PurpleToeNail]

And I'm currently going through it. Struggling with an apple belly I never had before/hot flushes/exhaustion/sleeplessness/& terrible stiffness & pelvic aches. I'm mid 50s & she's 48. Do you think some women genuinely sail through with no symptoms?

Well I don’t think it’s fake😂- I felt murderous for a good 3 years and had plenty plenty hot flushes. Your ‘friend’ sounds insensitive at best. I’d tell her to fuck off!!

The average age is 52 so she might still be in for a rough ride.

What I've found weird lately is that different people have insisted that men suffer from menopause too. I mean I'm sure they suffer from age related problems, but not of the same kind.

People get a mixture of symptoms,, a few rare people will get none

Some will suffer terribly

I know that Ive got all sorts of symptoms but I wouldnt say its affecting my day to day functioning too badly, my memory has gone to pot, concentration poor, suffering vertigo, very shakey, skin awful, dry mouth (learnt about this the other day and thought, oh thats why I have a dry mouth lately), sleep is dreadful.

Some people do sail through, other people have hot flushes every twenty minutes and wake up after 45 minutes every night for ten years before they cave and ask for help.
They are the same kind of people that say childbirth is a load of bollocks because they opened their barn door fanny and their baby just fell out (looking at you big sister), doesn't mean that other people don't labour for longer and have life changing birth injuries.
Some people can't imagine that other people have a different experience to their own.

I hate women who deny the existence of menopause. They really do let the side down. I am post meno and aged 58.

They say 1 in 4 women gets no symptoms whatsoever.

I'm in deep! 46! Bi monthly periods (when it's reminiscent of my miscarriage, or none at all. Sweating, hair loss, moody af, anxiety worse than ever, can't lose a lb, craving carbs,

Your friend is clearly either male or really bloody blessed!

I've had very mild symptoms but that doesn't mean I don't know it's hideous for some women. Some people are really strange.

Well, she’s ‘only’ 48, it could still all be ahead of her. Or she might sail through with no symptoms.

I don’t see what she has to gain by denying it, though. It’s so twattishly insensitive to people who really struggle.

I am 48, and beginning to see some low key symptoms periods starting to be somewhat irregular, disrupted sleep. God only knows what’s ahead….

Reminds me of my Mum. She didn't have any sympathy for hellish period pains in my teenage years just because she never had them.

Your friend is an insensitive arse

I sort of get where the friend is coming from....

I am 50 and in denial about the concept of menopause. I feel like I'm in my prime, really strong and positive, yet this great big hurling disaster called menopause is heading my way and will take away all my fun

I'm a bit scared of it, and so far pretending it does not exist works for me

(Dreading it though 🤫)

She's just not there yet.

She sounds insensitive and thoughtless.

I’ve never had morning sickness but I don’t think those whose suffer are making it up.

To me, that's a bit like having a friend who thinks cancer is a load of old bollocks because she hasn't had it.

It's pretty ignorant. And pretty offensive to people who are struggling. As though it's all in your head, cos she can't see it/hasn't had it.

Good job for her "tempting fate" isn't a real phenomenon then ain't it

When I went through menopause my mum said she had no symptoms and sailed through it. However, over the last 15 / 20 years she suffers terrible, debilitating insomnia, memory loss and struggles to make descisions as she used to. She has much less patience and about 10 years ago she gained a lot of weight, particularly round her middle which she has worked really hard to lose and manage.

All of that is to say, even if your friend thinks she isn't experiencing it, the effects of menopause are broad and varied and just because she doesn't suffer from the more well known hot flushes or mood swings doesn't mean she doesn't experience other side effects.

I had few hot flushes but the anxiety and low mood have made me a completely different person.

DM sailed through. Just one flush and her periods stopped abruptly overnight. My sister on the other hand, is either having periods from hell or none at all for 3 months, terrible sleep and flushes all the time. I’m 48 and having nightmare periods regular as clockwork (apart from a strange 10 week gap 18 months ago). It’s so different for everyone.

I am 52 and going through menopause/perimenopause at the moment I don't have much symptoms apart sometimes being a bit warm at night but nothing dramatic, it is only the past 4 months that I have a bit of symptoms before that nothing at all. Some women won't have much symptoms some will have plenty, there is no right or wrong every woem are affected differently, one of my friends is having awful night sweat because of it that she need to change clothes and sometimes bedsheets as it is so bad.

I never had any problems, never gained weight or felt unwell. Neither did my mother or any of my friends.

Interestingly though both my mother and myself and several of my friends all suffered with awful periods!

Mate, she's no friend. She's had an empathy bypass so she can't do friendship.

My Mum said it was no big deal for her. I'm 51 and haven't had any bad symptoms yet, the odd light period but that's it. Mum and I both had straightforward labours as well. We both had hideously painful periods as young women before having children so swings and roundabouts. Of course, I know other people have a dreadful time of it (a friend had terrible migraines every month until she got her medication altered) and others make life horrendous for others (a workmate who was a terrible bully to younger people but could mysteriously control it when dealing with older people who she knew wouldn't take her shit).

I had no symptoms but I have friends who I've seen having hot flushes and I don't for a moment dispute than some people suffer horribly.

My mum did. Never went on HRT or even bothered her GP with anything.
I have a friend who is having a horrendous time with peri, and her GP wont do anything until she has had no periods for a year.
Everyone is different.

Your friend is being a bit daft. Obviously women's oestrogen levels drop. That is a physically measurable change which happens to all women. Of course the effects differ due to individual physiological variations but all women definitely experience menopause. Maybe if she just thought about the implications of that physical reality she would realise that therefore women experience physical effects.

YABU for using the phrase 'Apple belly' 🤢