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Original poster

What age is it OK to leave your DC alone to go to the pub?

69 replies

notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 19:47

Just that really.

What age is it ok to leave your secondary age DC home alone on a Friday night while you go to a local pub? So, probably out of the house from 6ish till midnight or a little later.

Those with older DC, when did you start leaving yours?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Hotcuppatea · 18/04/2022 19:50

When my DD was 14 and DS was 13. First few times we went out for a few hours only (just couldn't relax). Now we'll stay out until midnight, but not really longer.

They love it. They get the TV all to themselves and stay up as late as they want.

Ragwort · 18/04/2022 19:51

What do you mean by secondary school age? Could be anything from 10 to 18 Confused.

And what local pub closes later than midnight ....?

AntarcticTern · 18/04/2022 19:52

I leave mine now - they're age 12, 14 and 16. We only started doing it quite recently though (a few months ago).

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Families
Changethetoner · 18/04/2022 19:53

15

Hellocatshome · 18/04/2022 19:54

I wouldn't leave them until midnight mostly because I'm too old and boring to want to go out drinking for 6 hours now, but I left them to go out for a meal so say 6 until 9 from 11 and 14, I wouldn't have left the 11 year old if the 14 year old wasn't there though.

Phos · 18/04/2022 19:56

Depends on the kid, 14ish I guess.

Greatoutdoors · 18/04/2022 19:56

About 14 I think. Just a couple of hours at first though, say 8-11.

CambsAlways · 18/04/2022 19:57

15

GlamorousHeifer · 18/04/2022 19:57

We've recently started this, mine are 15 and 11 (12 next month).

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 18/04/2022 20:00

My parents would go to a friend's house (which was about the same distance as the pub) for drinks and dinner from when I was about 12 and my older brother was 14. The friends teens would also come round who were about 13 and 15 or 16.

Original poster
notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 20:01

@Ragwort

What do you mean by secondary school age? Could be anything from 10 to 18 Confused.

And what local pub closes later than midnight ....?

a. Well, that's what I'm asking you! I've not given an age as I want to know what other people do.

b. Most of our pubs close at 12, and there is travel time home, so easily a bit after 12 to allow for finding coats, walking for 15 minutes or getting a cab if feeling lazy. A couple of the bars do stay open later.

I'm curious, do you have any insights into leaving kids at home while you go to the pub, or are you just here to pick apart my question?

OP posts:
Original poster
notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 20:04

@Hellocatshome

I wouldn't leave them until midnight mostly because I'm too old and boring to want to go out drinking for 6 hours now, but I left them to go out for a meal so say 6 until 9 from 11 and 14, I wouldn't have left the 11 year old if the 14 year old wasn't there though.
I'm not planning on drinking for 6 hours solid and rocking up home drunk as a skunk, honest! Grin

I've been invited to an event at a pub that starts at 7, so I imagine we'll meet for a drink beforehand and then want to catch up after.

OP posts:
ffscovid · 18/04/2022 20:51

It would depend on lots of things, including maturity of the child(ren) and distance from home to pub as well as location of home.

Pub at the end of the street in town with a sensible 13 year old at home. Probably fine.

Pub 20 mins away by car, with sensible 15 year old at home, when the house is 'out in the sticks' and the closest neighbour is a mile away. Not a chance.

willowstar · 18/04/2022 21:20

Interesting. We left our 12 and 10 year olds for a couple of hours recently while we went out for dinner. They are sensible. All was ok.

willowstar · 18/04/2022 21:22

We were five minutes away by car. We live in a small village next to a small town.

Original poster
notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 21:22

Situation: house in a town. Both next door neighbours friendly and probably at home with their own DC.

Pub a 15 minute walk away.

OP posts:
IggysPop · 18/04/2022 21:28

We leave our 12 year-old and pop to the local pub for an hour on a Sunday afternoon every few weeks. We do live 5 minutes walk away though. I wouldn’t do it on an evening and not for over an hour though. Not yet. I think she would feel different in the dark too. I think it’s different if you’re on your own in the house too.

I can remember being left in the 1970s. Safe area etc… but I never got to sleep (felt properly safe) until I heard mum and dad come through the front door.

Delatron · 18/04/2022 21:33

We leave 13 year old and a 12 year old but only pub within walking distance and back no later than 11ish. I don’t really relax but they also seem to old for babysitters so it’s a tricky period!

I get a babysitter if we go to a different town or later than midnight.

They need to be contactable at all times and check in with us. Otherwise back to babysitters (which they hate).

Alcoh · 18/04/2022 21:35

15

konasana · 18/04/2022 21:37

This kind of thread is why I'm on MN Grin

bigfloweryteapot · 18/04/2022 21:41

We have just started leaving ours, almost 16 and 12. It was shortly after 11 last night from about quarter to 7, and it's working quite well so far.

Kite22 · 18/04/2022 21:43

As has been said - it depends on circumstances, and on the dc.

IMO, leaving them for such a long period of time is something you build up to.
You leave them for short times to begin with. You leave them for slightly longer times. You leave them when it is daylight and they are comfortable with that before you leave them when it is dark.
You leave them during times they are awake before you leave them when they would be expected to go to bed.
Depends if they mind being alone (not sure if it is one or more dc you are leaving). Depends if they fight / wind each other up. Depends if you think they can be trusted not to invite others in if they know you are going for such a long time.
There's no fixed age.

NannyGythaOgg · 18/04/2022 21:49

10 and 12 (and it was the older one I wouldn't trust alone)

Neighbours aware, and available at the end of the phone (never used). Rarely until midnight though, usually back by 11 - midnight would have been fine. Probably 10 minutes away but this was pre mobile phone so they would have had to call the restaurant or pub should this have been necessary at any time.

Original poster
notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 21:53

You leave them for short times to begin with. You leave them for slightly longer times. You leave them when it is daylight and they are comfortable with that before you leave them when it is dark.
You leave them during times they are awake before you leave them when they would be expected to go to bed.

Yes, we've done that. We've left DS for up.to.aboit 3 hours in the daytime, he's quite happy to sit in front of his computer for the entire time Grin

We've not done it late at night though.

Depends if they mind being alone (not sure if it is one or more dc you are leaving). Depends if they fight / wind each other up.

DS is quite happy to be on his own. We have a younger DD also but they absolutely cannot be trusted to be left alone together, they fight.

When we've left DS alone, DS has been with us or at a friend's. For this pub trip, if we do it, she'll be having a sleepover with her best friend.

OP posts:
Goldijobsandthe3bears · 18/04/2022 21:54

20 but only if I am within 5 minutes distance. Seriously though my eldest is nearly 14 and she looks after the other two if we go out.