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Original poster

What age is it OK to leave your DC alone to go to the pub?

69 replies

notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 19:47

Just that really.

What age is it ok to leave your secondary age DC home alone on a Friday night while you go to a local pub? So, probably out of the house from 6ish till midnight or a little later.

Those with older DC, when did you start leaving yours?

Thanks.

OP posts:

CheekySwifter · 19/04/2022 07:06

By 11 they should be fine. To whoever said they have JUST started this with a 15 year old - you are not doing them any favours. They could be living alone at uni in 3 years and you only just leave them for a few hours?!? Crazy.

CheekySwifter · 19/04/2022 07:07

@Nelliephant1 you are joking?!? What sort of incapable, dependent child-adults are you raising?!?

hidinginthekitchenwithwine · 19/04/2022 07:35

neurotypical children, who don't struggle with anxiety etc should be absolutely fine to be left for an evening from 11 onwards. They're walking to and from school at that age presumably, which is far riskier than being home alone for a few hours.

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HollowedOut · 19/04/2022 07:47

In your situation I’d go and not stay until the end. Stay for a couple of hours and be home by 10ish. Is that not an option? Otherwise if you really need to be there until the minute the pub closes I’d work up to it over a few weeks and see how he copes. I know you’ve left him during the day before but some kids do really get themselves in a tizz about being on their own at night.

RagzRebooted · 19/04/2022 07:50

We did this for the first time a few months ago. Ages 12,14 and 15. We're in a small village, they know our neighbours very well and we were within a 10 minute walk from home.
We're leaving them tomorrow night to go out to town for a comedy gig, will be home around 10:30pm so they should be in bed, but likely won't be asleep!

ThePoetsWife · 19/04/2022 07:51

A couple of hours is very different from all night from 630 til 1am. I would start with a few hours and not go out all night until they're much older and able to deal with emergencies.

ThePoetsWife · 19/04/2022 07:52

And often they may not be settled enough to sleep until you get home so you need to bear this in mind.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 19/04/2022 07:55

One of mine didn't like leaving until he was 15

Ds2 was fine and left from about 13

BeerLoas · 19/04/2022 07:57

As a child/teenager in the 80’ I was left on my own from say 12. Was very mature etc. but no siblings with me and never told anyone how terrified I was to be in the house on my own in the dark. Was fun for the first hour or two doing what I wanted but remember being v relieved when they came home and pretending to be asleep. I went to sleep when they came back.

StopStartStop · 19/04/2022 08:02

16 and up. Only.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 19/04/2022 08:02

Mine are 17 and 13 and I haven't done this yet. No particular reason other than we don't tend to go to the pub on a night really. We can happily trust them if we had to go out for shopping or an appointment etc.

We do have a couple of meal out vouchers though so will be leaving them soon but would only be for a couple of hours. And I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the 13yo on her own if the 17yo wasn't home.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 19/04/2022 08:04

We started doing this at 14.

18 has got to be a wind up! DD spent a month inter railing with a mate at 16/17.

hidinginthekitchenwithwine · 19/04/2022 08:10

I'm going to assume that those saying 14+ have children with additional needs

Alyssasbackrolls · 19/04/2022 08:17

I have an occasional Saturday lunchtime pint or two with my partner after we have done the big shop before we start on dinner. Boys couldn't care less as they certainly wouldn't want to traipse around supermarket so are content to stay at home til we get back after being out say 12 til 3. Evenings if I'm working I'll leave dinner in slow cooker but would be back by 10 at latest. They're 12 and 14. I probably am at the point where I could leave them in the evening for a night out but I don't have the energy to do it myself!

QueenofLouisiana · 19/04/2022 08:21

About 15, a bit more difficult as much of this was during lockdown in our case. He loved it as it meant he had unfettered access the his Xbox.

Overnight from 16. He was off camping for a week with mates at 16 so no point worrying about him being in his own house in his own bed overnight. We leave him for a few nights while we go away.

WouldBeGood · 19/04/2022 08:25

DS is sensible and likes the peace. He was outraged at the prospect of a babysitter 🤣

rhowton · 19/04/2022 08:38

I would probably do it when my youngest is 12 and my eldest is 13, almost 14. If they are old enough to go to town by themselves with friends or to the cinema, they are old enough to be in the house alone for a few hours when we go out.

Seeline · 19/04/2022 09:27

I think 6 hours, up until midnight, is a long time for a 13.5 to be left alone. Make sure he is entirely happy with it.

I think you need a set of clear rules - he is likely to get bored and hungry, and unlikely to go to bed.
Make sure he knows what to do if the doorbell goes.
is he allowed to make a snack - hot or cold?
Can he make a hot drink?
What to do in an emergency - fire etc (I know it's extremely unlikely but it can and does happen)

I assume he has a phone and you will have a phone that you will notice buzzing/ringing if he needs/wants to contact you. Can be hard in a noisy pub.

HorribleHerstory · 19/04/2022 10:08

11-13 depending on many factors but as long as the child was happy.
Younger ones can stay with a responsible older one as a babysitting arrangement- I pay the older one then and the dynamic is different.

If they are old enough to be left IMO they are old enough to make hot drinks, snacks. I was coming home alone after school and making dinner for the family when they arrived back after work at 11.

I leave the younger ones with older siblings in pre arranged formal babysitting arrangements from them being around 7.

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