Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What age is it OK to leave your DC alone to go to the pub?

69 replies

notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 19:47

Just that really.

What age is it ok to leave your secondary age DC home alone on a Friday night while you go to a local pub? So, probably out of the house from 6ish till midnight or a little later.

Those with older DC, when did you start leaving yours?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 21:54

Gah! Should say..

"When we've left DS alone, DD has been with us or at a friend's. For this pub trip, if we do it, she'll be having a sleepover with her best friend."

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 18/04/2022 21:56

Possibly 11.5/ 13 (nr14) to go to local pubs for a short time walking distance? That's a couple of years off for us.

At currently 9/11 they sometimes walk the short distance from school and let themselves in. They're happy to be left up to about 20 mins while I'm local. DS1 is happily left longer on his own for about 1.5 hours while I'm 300m away at a community activity. It's the highlight of his week having the house to himself. The bigger issue is the potential for a sibling spat at the moment although they are calmer in the absence of immediate parental attention to spoil for.

NotesOnMyScandal · 18/04/2022 21:57

From 14 and I’m out from 8-10:30 ish. 12 min walk away.

6-midnight plus journey home is a long time.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Echobelly · 18/04/2022 21:58

We've gone out locally in the evening from this year - ours are 10 and 13

DuchessMinnie · 18/04/2022 21:58

11 and 13 regularly for a 2 hour outing to the pub. Now they are 13 and 15 I will leave them till midnight occasionally. They are sensible and the 15 year old tracks me on his phone and tells me the next day exactly where I went. I think I will miss that when he eventually gets his own social life and loses interest in mine.

familyissues12345 · 18/04/2022 22:02

We probably started leaving them occasionally at 15 & 10 - staying very local and no alcohol involved (so could get home quickly if needed - I don't drink)

DS1 is 18 now so is often out at work at night, so occasionally we leave 13 year old DS2 at home alone whilst we go out for a local meal or something

Calandor · 18/04/2022 22:04

Alone? 15 if midnight or later.

With an older sibling maybe 12.

LubaLuca · 18/04/2022 22:05

I can't remember what age ours were when we first left them like this. Maybe the youngest was 10 or 11.

Our local is a minute's walk away and they could have run and got us if there was any problem (or if they fancied a Coke and a bag of crisps with us).

Sunnytwobridges · 18/04/2022 22:05

I left my DD at 12, she's very responsible and she wasn't afraid to be home alone. If she hadn't been responsible or afraid to be home alone I would've waited til she was older. She also liked it cause I would give her special treats and take out so it was always a win for her too lol

MintyGreenDream · 18/04/2022 22:06

For me probably around 15/16

Signoramarella · 18/04/2022 22:11

I leave mine, 11 and 12, couple of hours max whilst I go out with dates or friends.

Hoolihan · 18/04/2022 22:14

14 & 10. Started leaving them while we went out for lunch on a weekend and now will leave them to go to local pub for a few hours. Anything further afield or late return (very infrequnt!) the youngest goes on a sleepover and we just leave 14 on his own.

bellsbuss · 18/04/2022 22:17

We started leaving ours when they were aged 14, 8 and 4. Our eldest was very sensible and we would only go to our local. Once she was 15 we would go a bit further and she was 18 when our youngest was born so would go wherever then. I was babysitting aged 13 for 3 under the age of 5, I think it depends on the child.

Original poster
notwhatineednow · 18/04/2022 22:18

DS is 13.5.

A friend has invited us out and I'm not sure if it's ok to leave DS or not.

He'd be happy with it, but it's a long time.

We could leave last minute before the event starts, so that'd be 6:45 and I guess if one of us didn't drink we could take the car and be home just before midnight.

Thanks for sharing your ages everyone, it makes me feel I'm not totally unreasonable to consider it!

I'm still not sure, maybe it's still a bit on the young side? But then, DS is pretty mature for his age. Aagh!

OP posts:
Rosehugger · 18/04/2022 22:25

If DS is happy to be left then he'll be fine. We first left them to go out locally when DD2 was 10 and DD1 was 14. It was a local quiz night, one of us wasn't drinking anyway as we had a short dive home.

Grumpycatsmum · 18/04/2022 22:26

14 and 10 for us. Some distance away. But 14 year old is very, very responsible - and we have neighbours who could help if any issues.

Contrast to my own childhood. Remember being left at my friend's house until quite late (maybe 10pm ) at age 7/8!

Quartz2208 · 18/04/2022 22:34

I think it very much depends on the child and circumstances so is an individual decision

That said I have read your replies and I think that you feel that it isnt the right time - you really want to go to the event and have it being but suspect that it isnt the right call for you

GraciousPiglet · 18/04/2022 22:39

At 13.5, I'd consider it if my DS was sensible and also had a sensible friend they could have over. For me it's probably just on the fringes for being left alone for that long. I'd leave them for a few hours sure and be back by 10ish without too much thought, or with an older sibling. But it's quite a long time to be alone. I'd feel happier knowing he had someone there with him.

But if the nice neighbours are in and as the pub is relatively close, I certainly wouldn't judge you for leaving him provided he was happy with it.

ZeppelinTits · 18/04/2022 22:50

My DS is 13 and I have left him to put himself to bed when we've popped to the cinema or out for dinner, just a couple of times in the past few months, and he's 13 and a half.

BookShark · 18/04/2022 22:59

Depends on the time. We're out later this week and will get a babysitter for DD(12) because we'll be out 7-10-ish which is over bedtime. She's fully independent, but still needs time prompts (get out the bath, turn your light off etc.). So not so much because I don't trust her - she lets herself in after school and has a couple of hours to herself if we go out to the supermarket/garden centre - but I think bedtime is still something that needs a bit more supervision to make sure it happens.

pleaseletmesleeptonight · 18/04/2022 23:28

14 &17 and we've been away overnight a few times.

The pub one for me weirdly is different, if we leave them we won't both drink, but most weekends we are out from about 5-9 and just head back with food for them.

They are always happy sometimes have girlfriends over etc.

PoshPyjamas · 18/04/2022 23:51

12

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/04/2022 01:40

My two are 12 and nearly 14. We've left them in evening but not for 6 hours and not as late as midnight. If your DS is confident then he's probably old enough.

UserError012345 · 19/04/2022 06:40

I haven't done it ...yet.

My eldest DD15 I could leave but I don't think I'd feel right.

I also have DD9 who I could not leave (obviously) till she's 16.

Nelliephant1 · 19/04/2022 06:49
  1. It's crazy to leave children alone never mind to go out drinking of all things!!!! What a rubbish example you'd be setting.